It’s a late Friday night for some of us, with Ahura making the first defence of his wXw title in the main event.
Quick Results
Hollywood Safire & Big AV Cool pinned Marc Empire & Robert Dreissker in 5:54 (**¼)
Kuro pinned Leedz Lewis in 8:49 (**½)
Kanji pinned Katsuya Murashima in 6:46 (**)
Falls Count Anywhere: Killer Kelly pinned Steph de Lander to win the wXw Hardcore Championship in 10:07 (**¾)
Nordino & Luca de Leone pinned Travis Williams & Judas Icarus to retain the wXw World Tag Team Championship in 12:55 (**¼)
Myron Reed pinned Zoltan in 12:16 (**¾)
Ahura pinned Joey Janela to retain the wXw Unified World Wrestling Championship after Way Too Long (38:37)
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We’re back inside the Turbinenhalle for our annual fever dream of a show, which started with Dan Mallmann getting rocked to the ring by Thommy Giesen and Bori Szeles. It’s only going to get weirder.
Norman Harras and Dave Bradshaw are on English commentary, which is interrupted by a car alarm… and Planet Gojirah as the Right To Censor… sorry, on this night, they’re the FSK (which also happens to be the name of the self-regulating agency for rating movies in Germany). Fohrwerk’s still in a wheelchair, with Isabella looking completely perplexed as to what on earth is happening. You and me both.
Fohrwerk declared that this show was banned, even for those over the age of 18, as Dreissker and Empire charged Dan Mallmann out of the ring… only to be stopped by “Big AV Cool” and “Hollywood Safire” as the nBo – the New Blue Order. This turned into a match…
Tornado Match: FSK (Marc Empire & Robert Dreissker) vs. nBo (“Big AV Cool” Anita Vaughan & “Hollywood Safire” Safire Reed)
FSK were sent packing to the outside at the bell as we started with some brawling, before Dreissker and Empire pulled out a Goodfather-esque charge into the corner.
Clotheslines down the frenzied nBo, just in time for Norman Harras to try and sell Atti through commentary… just in time for the appearance of a third member of the nBo – Blue Meanie Rainie. It’s Rainer Ringer spraying Atti while the crowd were getting shots.
Eventually, we calm down as best we can as Dave Bradshaw was dishing out some needling of his own to Norman Harras. In the ring, the Blue Rainie hits Dreissker with a Rainie Bomb, before AV Cool and Hollywood Safire returned to action, and finished off Empire with an elevated splash. Not much of a match, but let’s be fair, you’re not watching this show with those lenses, are you? **¼
Post-match, Dreissker laid out the nBo, only to be stopped when the lights went out for the annual appearance of Hardcore Schreier and Laurance Roman, Kendo stick and cans in hand. Eventually they find the ring for some White Russian Legsweeps, before Roman tried to waterboard Nick with the Atti pistol.
Backstage, Bend Thamer’s jumpscared coming out of the toilet by returning referee Alex Henke and a staffer, who’s got a new title… the wXw Hardcore title. It’s apparently a 24/7 title that’s back, just in time for the Extreme Wrestling Party, but Ben’s not one for partying, so he’s not going to reintroduce the title and is just going to have an early night. Aleksander Bellamy has been hiding the corner hearing all this and getting ideas about it… commandeering referee Henke to follow him around.
Kuro vs. Leedz Lewis
And now for something completely different… the wXw debut of Leedz Lewis, who’s been doing a spot of globetrotting this year.
Kuro enjoyed a bright start, chopping through Lewis in the corner before a turnaround took Kuro outside for a Golden Triangle moonsault into the front row… which Kuro caught, only to get knocked free as Leedz followed that up with a tope that almost took them into the toilets.
Back in the ring, Kuro took over with a front kick, before a slam and a stomp left Leedz laying. A handstand headscissors from Lewis begins the turnaround, with a wheelbarrow bulldog good for a two-count, just in time for someone to get a direct message somewhere. Fortunately, it’s not an anonymous general manager to cancel things, as Kuro ended up having his ripcord lariat countered into a standing Spanish Fly.
A triangle corkscrew moonsault followed Kuro to the floor as he tried to bail, while a springboard Destroyer back inside almost got Leedz the win. We keep going with a cross-legged driver for a near-fall, before Leedz’ overhead kick and German suplex folded up Kuro… who quickly responded with a stomp as things started to get a little frayed.
In the end, Kuro shuts down Leedz with a package tombstone (“All In The Lights”) and the Star Platinum ripcord lariat… and that’s our lot. This started off well, but was threatening to lose its way by the end… either way, this was the right kind of match, with the tiring crowd largely appreciating the fireworks. **½
Aleksander Bellamy’s accosted referee Alex Henke into waking up Ben Thamer… just so Bellamy can storm his hotel room and pin him to win the 24/7 title. Bellamy’s “moment” is quickly halted by Emzy Allosa just diving on him in the corridor… and we have our third champion inside a minute.
Emzy prances off with her newly-won belt, but Swole Patrol are in her way… she distracts them by making them pose-off, to which M4 reacts by trying to suffocate her with a bin bag. Jesus, that’s a little over the top! Emzy manages to avoid it, running down some stairs, before leaving what I assume was the Haus Union hotel.
Kanji vs. Katsuya Murashima
This isn’t the first time these two have met – a few months ago they faced off for Ichiban in London on their first Ambition-esque show, with Murashima getting the win there.
From the off, Murashima shoved away Kanji, before he offered a free hit. Elbows from Kanji barely fazed Murashima though, before he just charged her down with a shoulder tackle. Chops from Murashima gets him booed by some of the crowd, before he missed a back senton… which opened the door for Kanji to rattle him with kicks to the back.
Kanji’s neck twist subdues Murashima in the corner for a moment, while short-range clotheslines and palm strikes began to have an effect. A release German suplex flung Murashima across the ring for a two-count, before Kanji ran into a spinning bodyslam that looked to have Murashima back in control.
A trip up top ends with Murashima getting crotched in the ropes, before Kanji snatched the win with a Sabre clutch. From the off this just felt weird, with Murashima doing the “what am I meant to do, wrestle a woman?!” incredulity, and the while the in-ring was fine, the vibes were off from there. **
We’re back on the trail of Emzy, who’s sneaking down some steps at the Turbinenhalle as Conn Kelly is diving into a bin. They must have missed catering. Either that or Aeron’s getting payback for something as he shoved Conn’s head deeper into that bin. Eventually they notice Emzy as she tripped over a lid, complete with comical meerkat-like reactions from the Roadkill lads.
Conn goes after the Hardcore belt, but he falls for a fake throw. My dog doesn’t even fall for that stuff anymore! Aeron just runs into the wall, before a missed swing from Conn saw him brain his own tag partner with that same lid from earlier as Emzy ends up running off.
Back in the Turbinenhalle, Steph de Lander’s dragged Emzy onto the stage and pins her to win the Hardcore title as Steph’s music was playing. Then, when she was in the ring, de Lander took the mic and pulled a Matt Cardona, rattling off bare bones heel stuff about hating Germany, before offering to put the Hardcore title on the line in a falls count anywhere match. I mean, that’s its default rule set… and when Norman Harras is poking fun at you for acting like that’s a special thing, you have problems.
Falls Count Anywhere Match for wXw Hardcore Championship: Steph De Lander (c) vs. Killer Kelly
Kelly swipes at de Lander with her ring jacket to thwart a jump start, with a PK off the apron getting Kelly a pinning attempt in the opening thirty seconds.
Staying outside, de Lander suplexes Kelly into the crowd before Steph grabbed a baseball bat from under the ring. Luckily, Kelly ducks as the post took the shot, before we headed back inside as Kelly clotheslined Steph off of a chair for a two-count.
More chairs get set up by Kelly to create a crash pad… which ends with de Lander taking an awkward powerbomb onto the edge of them. Steph’s quickly back up though to suplex Kelly through a chair for a two-count, before the fight went through the crowd and towards the merch area.
Fighting on the bar, de Lander’s caught with capture headbutts before she threw a can off of Kelly’s head for a two-count. They end up on the stage again, with Kelly getting dragged by the hair, only to return with a DDT on there for a two-count, before they made it back to the ring and went back to the plunder with attempted chairshots.
Steph’s sent into a chair that she’d wedged in the corner as Kelly built up momentum with a Shade of Shibata into another chair, before we got more plunder in the form of a table. Kelly sets it up, only to get superplexed through it… right on cue for Emzy Allosa to hit the ring in a bid to try and reclaim her title.
A dropkick to Emzy lands, as did some headscissors to take Steph into the ropes… but Kelly dropkicks away a Tiger feint kick attempt before putting Steph away with a Vale de Morte for the win. Kelly leaves with the Hardcore belt, but shooed Emzy away so she could pose with the belt. Which apparently wasn’t ever legitimate. **¾
wXw World Tag Team Championship: Sinner And Saint (Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs. CSI (Luca de Leone & Nordino) (c)
This was CSI’s first defence – and it came with a rendition of the Bee Gees song, just with “CSI” as the sole lyric. And with a little help needed on the high notes.
From the off, Sinner & Saint looked to control Nordino… but when Luca de Leone was able to get in we had our first turnaround as CSI bust out a propelled wheelbarrow to Judas Icarus. Luca got too carried away with that and got tripped up as he went for his Figaro elbow, but was able to recover and leap onto the challengers on the floor… while Nordino hid under the ring to avoid getting caught in the crossfire.
Back inside, Nordino found himself in familiar territory as the Canadians double-teamed him, at least until Nordino poked them in their eyes as Luca had the referee distracted. Icarus had enough vision to take de Leone off the apron to prevent the tag though, before Nordino got sent over the top rope to the floor as he was cornered.
Nordino’s able to fight off Travis Williams and mount a comeback with a whoopee cushion sit-down splash to Icarus… then finally got the tag out to Luca, who cleared house before bringing Nordino back in to try for the Arrivederci slam. Williams dual eye rake saved him before he kicked out of a pin and sent Luca into a shot in the ropes from Icarus. Some quick-fire combos from the challengers have Luca in trouble, but he’s able to kick out from a brainbuster.
From there, Luca’s able to make the tag out as Nordino mounted a fresh assault… landing a tiltawhirl backbreaker to Williams before bringing de Leone back in for a Figaro elbow and the double-team Arrivederci slam for the win. This was fine, but the crowd were really starting to tire here – especially with Sinner and Saint not really connecting much outside of their double-team sequences. **¼
Zoltan vs. Myron Reed
The young Hungarian’s looking to get back on track after losing the European title last month – but he’s got a tough test on his hands here.
Zoltan’s early attempt at a cutter got countered into a crucifix, but Reed couldn’t capitalise as Zoltan managed to get back in with a front kick that took Reed onto the apron. A low bridge from Reed takes things outside, but we’ve a switcheroo as Zoltan’s dive got countered ahead of Reed landing an overhead kick back inside.
Reed adds a Yakuza kick as he took Zoltan into the corner, slowing down the pace to suit his own ends… but that just gave Zoltan more time to find opportunities to get back into it, with the pair going back-and-forth on strikes before an up-kick from Zoltan helped him pull ahead. Zoltan eventually lands a splash on Reed, but it’s not enough… nor was an O’Connor roll, as Zoltan built up to a Cutter out of the corner.
It’s good for a near-fall, but Zoltan took his time to follow up… when he did, it was a wild swinging uranage that planted Reed, before another cutter was countered with a back cracker. Zoltan went for the swinger again, but Reed slips out before hitting his Hang Five draping DDT for a near-fall… then another cutter that sent Zoltan to the outside.
We all scatter as Reed followed Zoltan with a corner dive over the ring post… then took it back inside for a 450 splash for the win. Slow paced for a long while, this had it’s good moments, but by the end of the match I’d had my fill of cutters. **¾
We’re backstage once more, as Alex Henke’s randomly counting three as the Hardcore title belt was left on a sofa. I think we missed a scene here where someone dumped a sofa on top of Killer Kelly then walked away as if nothing happened… somehow, that’s a win for Aleksander Bellamy, but he walks into Manders in the corridor, who lariats him before… Manders’ mum took the pin, and the belt? With that bucket list item ticked off, Ben Thamer wanders back out in a mood to take the belt off of Manders’ mum, as all of this 24/7 malarkey ended up being for nought.
No Disqualification Match for wXw Unified World Wrestling Championship: Ahura (c) vs. Joey Janela
It’s extremely rare that I throw my hands up and do this, but: No. Just no. As much as I’m a fan of Ahura, I refuse to rewatch this in its entirety.
Ahura debuted a new belt here, one that was more like the old Mid South title, with plates depicting the König der Catcher and 16 Carat Gold trophies. There’s a good 20-minute match in here, but for a match that started at close to 1.30am, this was going to need to be something special. Ahura turned this into a no-DQ outing midway through the match – because it’s the extreme wrestling party (and to be frank, the entire show probably should have done that!), but that just led to a little longer getting added to the match as we had the lads go through tables and chairs. So many chairs, in fact, that we ended up having them thrown INTO the crowd, with some scary near misses as the lads seemed to be testing the crowd to see who was still awake as we were well past 1am.
At a little after half one, we’ve got a wicked piledriver off the top rope into a crash pad made of chairs. Not the folding chairs though – the rigid plastic ones that the fans get… the ones that have been known to explode into shrapnel in the past. Luckily, they didn’t here, but it did leave referee Tassilo Jung perhaps reconsidering some choices after that led to a kick-out. After the pair just lob chairs at each other, this one finally ended with a gruesome Salamandra into a rigid chair. And we shall never speak of this again.
Post-match, Myron Reed ran out and hit Ahura with a cutter off the apron. They bounced off of a table that had been set up earlier in the match… before Reed dealt with a heckler and challenged Ahura to a title match the next night.
The Extreme Wrestling Party clearly works at the gate – with more people coming to this than the evening’s Pro-Wrestling Grand Prix card… however, it feels very much a concept that needs to be nailed down, if only on paper. The throwback bits will run their course, but having an extreme show that suddenly goes extreme in the main event “just because” felt a little jarring. This is very much not a show to watch while sober… and that main event, as much as I love Ahura, a lot of this one is perhaps best left consigned to the dustbin of history.