Absolute Andy’s tenure as Director of Sports gets underway on this week’s Shotgun!

Quick Results:
Norman Harras pinned Leon van Gasteren in 9:30 (***)
Pretty Bastard (Maggot & Prince Ahura) beat Anil Marik & Vincent Heisenberg in 4:00 (**¼)

We open with wXw’s “Hate Racism/Love Wrestling” banner, and a #BlackLivesMatter proclamation.

Then, we hear Alexander Wolfe from last week relinquishing his Shotgun title… Absolute Andy is in his office, complaining about having to do a full time job as he’s on the phone to Karsten Beck. He asks Karsten for his taken on the Shotgun title situation, but it seems Karsten’s answer wasn’t helpful enough as Andy got a little surly, even more so as his inbox began to fill up. Cue titles, cue Sebastian, as we’re back inside the remodelled Steffy. Tonight: Norman Harras faces Leon van Gasteren, the Pretty Bastards take on Anil Marik and Vincent Heisenberg, and we hear more about the vacant Shotgun title.

But first, Alpha Kevin has a craving for chicken… while Melanie Gray’s got another phone message for him from the wXw group chat. Andy’ll be making an announcement on the Shotgun title, which was news to Alpha Kevin, who clearly didn’t watch last week! Melanie tries to get Kevin interested in the title, but that led to Kevin reminiscing about the show instead. Good lad.

From Carat weekend, we see Killer Kelly handing off her wXw Women’s title shot to Stephanie Maze… of course, Maze lost to Amale, but not before she punted her in the face (not shown here). The post-match stuff with Alexander James is shown, complete with the ultimatum to Killer Kelly. Which then takes us into Andy complaining to his mum again as Kelly walked into his office. Andy tells Kelly the Women’s title scene isn’t a priority, before refusing to talk about his ideas as he proceeded to have a meltdown. This is already gold before we get another “out of context” moment…

Sebastian Hollmichel’s backstage with Leon van Gasteren. In Tampa, he’d have had a Unified World Wrestling title shot, but that got cancelled, and he’s not having that match rescheduled. Leon refuses to give up though, and he’s going to prove himself once again.

Norman Harras vs. Leon van Gasteren
In totally unrelated news, does anyone know where I can find Tiny Rebel’s “alcoholic protein shake” beer? I may owe someone in this match one…

We get going with the pair scrambling for a lock-up, swapping snapmares and takedowns as van Gasteren scored an early one-count. Harras responds by taking down Leon, before the pair locked up again, this time ending in the ropes before a waistlock takedown saw Norman perhaps looking a little too nonchalant here. Van Gasteren returns with a snapmare and a chinlock, but Harras escapes as they go back and forth with headscissors and headlocks, only for the veteran van Gasteren to fake out Harras and catch him in almost a Rings of Saturn. Armdrags keep Harras at bay, as a dropkick took him outside…

Harras tries to fake out a cat and mouse chase, but he misses a knee drop as Leon returned with an “unorthodox” tiltawhirl slam as he keeps the pressure up on Harras. Norman finally hits back with a German suplex, following up with an elbow drop for a two-count, before a snapmare and a punt to the back drew another near-fall for Harras. Leon responds with a boot out of the corner, then a missile dropkick for a near-fall, but another big boot from Harras turns the tables. Norman keeps on top of Leon with a chinlock, then with a knee to the side which eventually gets a two-count, but Norman gets a little too carried away as he’s caught with another shotgun dropkick.

Van Gasteren’s lifted onto the apron, but he returns with a springboard forearm which gets another near-fall, only for Harras to take him into the ropes for a scoop slam which keeps those two-counts going. From there, Harras goes for a powerbomb, dropping Leon into the corner as a big boot takes him out for yet another near-fall as Norman was beginning to show frustration. Harras goes for another big move, but Leon slips out of a suplex as he came back with a sit-out death valley driver, before a frog splash landed squarely on the knees as Harras proceeded to roll-up van Gasteren for the pin. A good match as the relative newcomer Harras got more ring time to his name – learning some sneaky-style as he used a mistake from van Gasteren to his own advantage. ***

Absolute Andy’s back in his office with a message for us all. He tells a story about a bear, a stag and a rabbit wanting to duck out of an army medical. They all try to get their way out of it, and while something worked for the rabbit and the stag, the bear needed a new idea: but he didn’t need it anyway. His way with words was much better than mine.

Andy has three things that’ll bring success. All of them, fairness. His first official act is to announce a Shotgun title tournament, featuring Avalanche… because he was the last champion before Wolfe. Everyone else has to prove their way into the tournament before Andy decides the rest of the field.

Earlier today: Avalanche and Anil Marik are training in the ring. Avalanche then went semi-Cornette on Vincent Heisenberg for not holding the tag rope, as he proceeded to help the newcomers with a gameplan for their match later tonight.

We’re back to Andy, who’s losing his mind over his inbox. In comes Norman Harras, who’s just getting ignored. Andy shoos him out, but not before he derides Norman for not being on brand with his clothing choices. Norman leaves him a signed 8×10 and walks out with the shirt…

From last week, they replay the end of EZEL’s win… and Metehan’s cheeky kick to the Rotation afterwards. That took us back to Andy, who’s using Norman’s 8×10 to doodle on, right as EZEL appear in his office. He calls Metehan by his old name, then pokes fun at just about everyone, prompting “Metehan Kid”, Abdul and Aytac to leave.

Anil Marik & Vincent Heisenberg vs. Pretty Bastards (Maggot & Prince Ahura)
Marik’s pretty raw, having only made his debut at the end-of-2019 wXw Academy show. This is going to be a big ask for Anil and Heisenberg, as the Pretty Bastards have their first two-on-two tag team match since losing the tag titles at Carat…

This one starts with Prince Ahura ducking a lock-up as he poked fun at Marik, who instead took down the former tag champion with an armdrag. The armbar’s held by Marik, despite Ahura’s attempts at escaping… a hair pull gets Ahura free, before some rope running took Anil into a spinning roundhouse kick. Oof. Maggot tags in and gets lifted into Marik as some ground-and-pound kept the rookie down. Anil tries to fight back, but he’s cornered with some boots from Maggot, before a spear from Maggot almost got the win. Heisenberg has to break the cover up, but he gets his eyes raked by Ahura as the former champions dealt with the giant.

A powerbomb attempt from Maggot’s countered with a back body drop as Anil fought free, following in with an enziguiri to Ahura before finally tagging in Heisenberg. Vincent elbows and clotheslines away on the Bastards, before the spinning back suplex almost got the upset. Marik’s tagged back in as Heisenberg looked to press slam him into the Bastards, but Maggot counters with a cutter as an Alley Oop into a knee strike quickly put Marik away. Almost a squash here, with the Bastards dominating throughout. **¼

Next: a replay of David Starr’s final match in wXw from Carat weekend, ending courtesy of an Emerald Flowsion from Bobby Gunns. I still remember how quickly the air escaped the Turbinenhalle after that result. The post-show stuff that was to have led to stuff in Frankfurt is clipped, as we’re back to Andy… who this time is interrupted by Bobby Gunns. Nobody respects the door.

Gunns asks what’s going to happen to the planned eight-man tag from Frankfurt. Like everything else, it’s been canned. Bobby reckons Andy has eyes for his title, but Andy denies that because he’s got bigger fish to fry. Like his inbox, probably. Andy orders Bobby to leave, before remarking that “if you put too many straws on a camel, he’ll just leave.” Hopefully before it breaks its back…

We’ve got matches for next week! Metehan takes on Alpha Kevin, Hektor Invictus vs. Fast Time Moodo… plus the Pretty Bastards enter the Himmelschloß, as this week’s Shotgun comes to a close with an “in remembrance” graphic for Danny Havoc.

At under fifty minutes long, this week’s Shotgun absolutely flew by – although you could make an argument for this perhaps being a touch too heavy on the Absolute Andy segments. I’m not one of those people, mind you. Andy is perhaps one of the best on the mic in wXw right now, with a fantastic way of words, regardless of the language. The “two matches and a lot of segments” format is exceedingly easy to watch, and continues to leave plenty of little Easter eggs along the way. Sure, wXw’s hands are tied here, with the women’s title pretty much off limits for now, while Andy having a role outside-the-ring means the tag titles are also on ice. Not that that’s too much of an issue, as four titles in a one-hour show would be overkill. We’re going to get a lot of Andy, and a lot of new faces on Shotgun – and neither of those are necessarily bad things. The Shotgun of old is back!