We’re off to Germany for our latest review, as wXw’s Femmes Fatales show comes under the spotlight.

Impressively, this show was held last Saturday (October 1st) and was online by Tuesday afternoon. Insert “yet Pro Wrestling Guerrilla still can’t turn around their BOLA DVDs in a month” joke here…

The show opened with a minute’s silence, before the eight women in the Femmes Fatales tournament were introduced to the crowd. It seems that the hallmark of wXw is to show entrances, but with dubbed over music to save on music rights fees. Fair enough!

Femmes Fatales First Round: Melanie Gray vs. Leah Vaughan
After a bit of shoving, Vaughan shoved Gray and went for a Finlay roll right off the bat, only to miss a Quebrada. Gray lands a Thesz press in retaliation, then chops away at Leah in all of the four corners.

It was all Gray for a while, at least until she missed a back senton as Vaughan rolled onto the apron for a weird, contrived spot that saw her just sit there until Gray recovered and connect with a baseball slide dropkick that sent Vaughan into the crowd. Vaughan throws Gray into a dividing wall, before she whips her arm into the ringpost.

Instead of taking a count-out, Vaughan breaks the count and heels on the fans by asking them to move away so she could throw Gray into their seats… and instead, just throws Gray back into the ring. Back inside, Vaughan stomps on a downed Gray, and goes to a surfboard stretch before wrenching away on Gray’s left arm.

Vaughan catches Gray in an armbar over the ropes, kinda like Tajiri’s old Tarantula, and keeps up the pressure by dropping the arm over the top rope. More chops in the corner from from Vaughan, but Gray’s brief comeback ends with some shoulder charges in the corner. A crossbody off the ropes gets Gray a near-fall, before she gets a clothesline and a bulldog out of the corner.

Gray follows up with a running low dropkick for a two-count, but she gets dumped onto the apron by Vaughan. A lariat from the outside takes down the Canadian, allowing Gray to climb to the top rope, but she’s caught and is swept to the mat. Vaughan instead climbs up, and connects with a moonsault, but Gray kicks out just in time.

Gray sidesteps Vaughan’s charge, as she hits the ring post, and replies with a Northern Lights release suplex, then a back senton off the middle rope as Gray gets the win. A passable opener, not fantastic, but given that one of these two were pulling double duty later on, you couldn’t expect a classic in the opener. **¼

Femmes Fatales First Round: Jinny vs. Dahlia Black
Both women had their PROGRESS entrance videos, and it’s good to see Jinny’s “Primark Princess” catcalls travelled to Germany, where Primark actually exists! Jinny took the microphone before the match and berated the fan who started those catcalls, so far as to tell him to “go back to 1999” when he started the “What?” chants.

She went on to label the (mostly) German fans as “scum”, and threatened to retire Dahlia Black… and feel as much pain as the animals who get skinned for her fur coats. Is there a German equivalent of the RSPCA??

Jinny starts by inspecting Dahlia’s choice of outfit, and slapped her for it. I guess she disapproved. Dahlia returns with a forearm, and that’s how we get going, with back and forth forearms! A back elbow rocks Jinny, but Dahlia missed a knee strike in the corner, something which Jinny succeeded with.

Jinny catches a kick, then ducks an enziguiri, before stomping Dahlia to the mat for a near-fall. More stomps and forearms keep the New Zealander down, before Jinny chokes her in the corner, and again over the bottom rope. Dahlia finally mounts a comeback with forearms, and connects with the double knees in the corner.

A snapmare takes down Jinny for a kick to the back for a two-count, but Dahlia’s kicks again get caught, this time resulting in Jinny sweeping the leg back into the Botox Injection that gets a near-fall. Dahlia again fires back with a slap, but Jinny kicks her into the corner, only to get shoved down. Black goes up top for the “Dark Side of the Moon”, but it misses, as Jinny instead gets the Style Clash for the win. Short and about as good as you’d expect given the time limitations. **½

According to the video, we’ve got four matches left in half an hour, so I think “brevity” is going be the word of the day here!

Femmes Fatales First Round: Alexis Rose vs. Alpha Female
For those who followed our reviews of Hull’s NGW, you may be familiar with Alexis Rose under her “alter ego” as Lillith. Alpha Female, meanwhile, was introduced by the “Goldjunge” Marius van Beethoven after a lengthy (for this show, anyway) promo. Alpha Female has been around for fifteen years wrestling mostly in Europe, and had a brief run in TNA during their tour of 2014, where she played Chris Sabin’s girlfriend during a short storyline with Velvet Sky.

Rose charges at Alpha in the corner, but she gets charged down and immediately clubbed with forearms to the chest for a near-fall. The size difference makes this a complete mismatch, and Rose gets held in a cravat before she’s thrown to the mat. A Romero special followed, but Alpha Female hooked away at Rose, which forced the referee to start a five-count.

Rose recovers, but quickly takes a clothesline in the corner, followed by some shoulder charges and a back elbow. Alexis ropewalks to escape Female’s corner charge, but a series of dropkicks have no effect, and she’s promptly taken down with a lariat for a near-fall. An Anaconda Vice sees Rose escape it after getting her feet to the ropes, but the Alpha Plex (Dominator) puts paid to this one-sided squash. Exactly what this match should have been given the size difference, as the former pet project of a certain former British heavyweight champion goes to the finals. *¾

Femmes Fatales First Round: Pollyanna vs. Shanna
Our final first round match here, and it involved a Pollyanna who looked distinctly unimpressed at Shanna’s shirt-removing theatrics. Pollyanna went for an early Air Raid Crash, but Shanna reversed into a sunset flip for a near-fall out the gate.

A shoulder tackle knocked down “Portugal’s Perfect Athlete”, and she is met with a kick to the midsection, before they trade armdrags. On commentary, they acknowledge Shanna’s TNA run (see Alpha Female – it was an even shorter run than her’s, as she had only two matches in the 2014 TNA tour of the UK, granted, one of those was a dark match victory over said Alpha Female…)

The two trade one-counts from leg sweeps, before Pollyanna misses a corner charge and gets a kick to the midsection, then a flipping neckbreaker for a near-fall. Pollyanna blocks a suplex, then reverses Shanna into the corner for the spot that would have generated a Rick Martel reference in another promotion. Shanna takes a Stinger splash, and a double stomp into the corner for a near-fall.

Shanna fights back from the ground, but she’s clubbed down and takes a Fisherman’s suplex for another near-fall. A series of double-handed chops rock Shanna, who’s then lifted onto the top turnbuckle, only to headbutt Pollyanna down, and into place for a missile dropkick from the Portuguese. They fight back to their feet whilst trading forearm strikes, before Shanna lands a leaping forearm and a back kick to score a two-count over her English foe.

A log roll from Pollyanna sends Shanna into the middle turnbuckle, before a double knee strike gets her another two-count. Pollyanna catches a kick out of the corner and sets up Shanna for a double stomp across the corner, but only gets a two-count from that, before going for an Air Raid Crash, but Shanna countered with a Code Red for a near-fall.

Shanna’s taken into the corner once again, but countered a charge with a “Dragon Kiss” kick, and finished off Pollyanna with the Double Dragon (rolling Dragon suplexes). Probably the best and more even of the first round matches, but still way too short for my liking. ***¼

Queen Maya vs. Laura Di Matteo
This isn’t a tournament match, and is a battle of the Italians!

They start with a lock-up, but Maya repeatedly shoves Laura down with ease. Undeterred, Laura fights back with some kicks, and takes down Maya with a dropkick for a one-count. An attempted missile dropkick is stopped as Maya throws her off the middle rope, before a big boot takes down Laura for a two-count.

Maya tries for a chokeslam, but Laura elbows out, only to get caught by a side slam for another two-count, and this is quickly resembling the Alpha Male/Alexis Rose match from earlier. Laura’s cornered and gets chopped, then slammed, before she gets overwhelmed with an Avalanche in the opposite corner.

Laura leaps over another charge, and rolls up Maya for a two-count, but she immediately gets folded in half with a lariat… and finds a way to kick out before the count of three. Maya signals for the end, but Laura elbows out of a chokeslam again and connects with a couple of clotheslines, before a double-clothesline took both women down.

A tiltawhirl headscissor attempt is successful, as is the missile dropkick, but that only keeps Maya down for a two-count. Maya again goes for the chokeslam, but Laura gets a wheelbarrow roll-up and shocks Queen Maya for the win. A classic David vs. Goliath match, but unlike the earlier affair, at least David was able to get some meaningful offence in! **¾

Femmes Fatales Final: Alpha Female vs. Jinny vs. Shanna vs. Melanie Gray
This is being held under elimination rules, so no breaking up each other’s pins, eh? Everyone starts by attacking Alpha Female three-on-one, and they eventually toss her out of the ring… but it’s not a battle royal!

Shanna hits a slow-motion dive out of the ring, which leaves Gray and Jinny in the ring, and after frustrating Jinny’s attempt to hit an Irish whip, Gray lands a Northern Lights suplex for a near-fall. Jinny just about rolls away from a back senton, and knocks Alpha Female to the outside, where Shanna goes after her and Marius van Beethoven, who hops away on his crutch.

In the ring, Jinny hits a running kick to a seated Melanie for a near-fall, before her crossbody is caught and turned into a swinging side slam from Gray. Melanie connects with the “Gray out” – running double knees into the corner – but she gets distracted by Marius van Beethoven who’d jumped onto the apron. She dropkicks van Beethoven to the floor, before going up top once more, but Marius grabs her leg and sets her in place for Jinny to land the Facelift (middle rope X-Factor) as Melanie is the first one eliminated.

Shanna gets thrown back into the ring by Alpha Female after the elimination, but Alpha’s double clothesline takes down both remaining women. Alpha suplexes Shanna, then does the same to Jinny, before the two countered a double-chokeslam attempt with a suplex onto the giant German. For some reason, Shanna went to break up a cover there, and then Jinny broke up Shanna’s pin, as all logic went out the window.

At least they played it off as “I want to get the pin” rather than standard elimination rules buffoonery… Shanna and Jinny get into a shoving match, with Jinny landing a kick to the lead, then an Rainmaker for a near-fall. Shanna recovers to land some forearm strikes, before the Dragon Slayer (Angel’s Wings/Pollinator/whatever you want to call a double underhook facebuster) gets the three-count to eliminate Jinny.

We’re down to Shanna and Alpha Female now, and Alpha immediately shoves down Shanna and goes for the Alpha Plex, but Shanna slips out and lands a Stunner. Marius van Beethoven gets involved again by leaping onto the apron and holding Shanna in place, but she moves away just in time for Alpha to knock him to the floor. A hurricanrana sends Alpha into the corner for a running knee, and then a Shining Wizard takes her down once more.

Shanna goes up top, but yet again van Beethoven gets involved, holding Shanna’s leg as Alpha Female picks up the pieces and gets the an Alpha Plex for the win. I wasn’t a fan of how the “Goldjunge” got involved twice, least of all how he was supposedly needed tor the Alpha Female to get the win. **½

After the match, Marius van Beethoven grabs the trophy and passes it to the Alpha Female as they celebrate beneath the bed of dubbed music. As a show, I liked the concept of a women’s show as a lead in to the second night of the World Tag Team League (don’t worry, we’ll be reviewing that once we’ve seen all of the shows!), but for me, all of these matches were way too short to be of note. Worth a watch, but with more time, this show could have been so much better…