Two weeks out from the promotion’s first iPPV, WhatCulture’s wrestling show came back with a storyline-heavy show and a farewell to boot.
#TLDR: It was the Martin Kirby show as he campaigned his way into a headline role on a show that also featured the debut of the former Alberto Del Rio.
The Full Review: In a week where WCPW’s decided to have the two non-wrestling faces of the promotion drop their storyline beef and fend off criticism (can’t think what started that off!), stuff from the “fiver show” on September 15 was the order of the day for this week’s Loaded.
The show opens with footage from “earlier this week”, and we see Drake standing above Rampage. Turns out Adam Blampied got Prospect to attack him backstage, and he’s loading a sock with batteries… and he whacks Rampage with a sock full of Duracell.
We’ve got a new title sequence, which is well overdue!
Adam Pacitti’s on the phone to someone who’s apparently asking about the status of the piledriver. They’re all banned – vanilla piledrivers, Canadian destroyers… not sure about tombstones though. He addresses Rampage’s injury, and there’ll be actions tonight.
The show starts with Prince Ameen with his “manservant” Gabriel Kidd and my word, they dug up Simon Miller to be ring announcer for this show. On the first match, he was better as a commentator…
Prince Ameen vs. Joe Coffey
They casually announce Joe Coffey’s match with Minoru Suzuki in two weeks…
Ameen starts by peppering Coffey with shots in the ropes, but the Scotsman quickly recovers and clotheslines Ameen in the corner. A gutwrench suplex gets Coffey a near-fall, and I’m wondering why Ameen hasn’t played his manservant card yet. After a spell outside, Ameen regained the advantage, and took down Coffey with a spinebuster for a near-fall.
Coffey gets backdropped over the top rope, but recovers with a missile dropkick off the top rope, then a crossbody out of the corner for another near-fall. They do the walk-out spot, but Ameen ended up being tossed back in by Gabriel Kidd, and that set up the Prince for a Giant Swing. A slingshot sends Ameen into the corner, then a rolling forearm gets Coffey the win. Basic opener, but decent stuff to rebuild Coffey and keep the Kidd/Ameen storyline ticking. **
After the match, Ameen refuses to put his t-shirt on, and insists that Kidd wears it instead. Kidd gets “you look stupid” chants… and we’re out!
Backstage with Joseph Conners, with Drew Galloway walking in on him. Galloway says that the fans don’t see him as a true champion because he didn’t beat “a top guy”. That’s harsh on Joe Hendry! Galloway wants to face Conners, so he can put Conners and WCPW on the map. Instead, Conners attacks Galloway with the belt, then throws him into a couple of walls.
Pete Dunne vs. Martin Kirby
Dunne starts by taking down Kirby with a wristlock, and then goes into a reverse figure four after a spot of foot biting. After going to the outside to argue with a fan, Dunne again takes down Kirby in a rear chinlock, and somehow ends up with a reversal and flips over into a seated surfboard on Dunne. That was ingenious.
A stalling suplex into an eye poke’s blocked by Dunne, who bites Kirby’s fingers, as for some reason Jack Swagger’s “we the people” chant became a thing here. Dunne goes the stalling suplex spot, but Kirby blocks the eye poke and hits one himself. Kirby attempts a dive after dropkicking Dunne to the outside, but it’s cut-off, and Dunne ended up chopping the ring post by mistake.
Kirby gets caught in the ring apron as he went for a baseball slide. A rope hung DDT from Dunne brought Kirby back in for a near-fall, before Dunne again snacked on the fingers of Kirby during a knee stomp. Some finger manipulation acts as a prelude to a figure four from Dunne, and the “Bruiserweight” keeps up the pressure on Kirby with some slaps.
The pair trade forearm shots briefly, before Kirby’s suplex takes down Dunne. Kirby’s fingers get bitten again, but Dunne didn’t realise that Kirby’d put his hands down his trunks… so that didn’t exactly taste nice. Kirby makes a comeback with a shoulder charge into the corner from there, then a slingblade for a near-fall.
Kirby goes for the Zoidberg Elbow, but Dunne rolled away and hits an enziguiri, and a Fireman’s carry into an uppercut for a near-fall. The sit-out powerbomb gets a two-count out of Kirby, who gets stomped on by Dunne. Another comeback starts with some biting from Kirby, then an enziguiri, before a small package gets a near-fall.
The pair exchange superkicks and enziguiris, before Kirby countered the Drop Dead into a DDT. Dunne holds onto the referee to avoid the Sable Bomb, with the distraction giving him an opening to kick Kirby low… but somehow Dunne gets held up with the referee and is left vulnerable as a Martin Kirby schoolboy gets him the win. This was pretty decent, it sort-of dragged in the middle, but on a show in front of supposedly a new crowd, it worked. ***
Martin Kirby got the microphone after the match, and he calls out GM Adam Pacitti – because he wants a title shot at the iPPV. Pacitti doesn’t come out, so Kirby threatens to take the show hostage with a spot of karaoke. They play Brian Adam’s “Summer of 69”, which is cue to go to a break to avoid YouTube flagging the show for copyright!
We end up outside with Jack the Jobber still trying to find a girlfriend. Nope, he’s still being chased by the Primate. It’s the world’s longest chase scene!
Alex Gracie is back with the rest of Prospect. They’re still suspended, so they’re going to find another way in.
Back at ringside, Martin Kirby’s still singing… so we disappear backstage with Stevie Aaron. Holy hell, the blasts from the past continue. He’s there with Joe Hendry, who’s putting over his match with Kurt Angle. In one promo, Hendry’s doing more for this match than they’ve done to date.
Martin Kirby’s still singing… just shows how ineffective the company’s GM is! Kirby’s microphone’s been turned off, but Pacitti finally comes out. He’s treated as a heel for putting down the cult hero, and even more so by saying that he’s not even on the iPPV. Kirby then says he’s not going to play nice anymore… so he grabs some furry handcuffs and cuffs himself to the bottom rope.
Pacitti calls for security as the crowd chant “he’s not leaving”. Someone who does leave, is the GM, who shows himself as ineffective. Yep, an authority figure we can all get behind! Instead, they just carry on with the show…Martin Kirby taunts Travis Banks as he’s still handcuffed to the ropes, and it looks like Kirby’s doing the unofficial commentary gimmick.
Travis Banks vs. El Ligero
Both men are incredulous by Martin Kirby’s antics, and a lot of this match is stalled by Kirby’s behaviour on the mic. Kirby takes over commentary, and it’s all comedy stuff. After a waistlock reversal, Kirby starts chatting up someone in the crowd, and then starts a “boring” chant. Thank God it doesn’t last.
Kirby trips Ligero in the ropes, and he falls into a kick to the midsection. Banks gets tripped too, and ends up taking a missile dropkick. Banks rolls to the outside, and gets riled by a “this is average” chant, before grabbing Kirby as a human shield to prevent a dive from Ligero. They go to the outside, where Banks gets chopped around the crowd barriers. Ligero ducks and Banks “accidentally” chops Kirby… who fires back and gets “thrown out”. Except the referee forgot he was handcuffed.
Kirby proclaims he’s going to do some chores, so he goes under the ring for an ironing board. Okay, this became awesome again. Shame it’s putting a match into the background.
Banks grabs Kirby’s iron and dumps it out of the ring, before he runs into Ligero with some forearms in the corner. Travis snaps and runs on the apron to kick Kirby, before sending some in Ligero’s way. After catching one, Ligero takes Kirby into the corner, and finally this turns into a bleeding wrestling match! Ah, briefly…. Banks gets backdropped to the outside, and then takes a cannonball off the apron from Ligero. A crossbody off the top gets Ligero a near-fall, before Banks gets shoved off the ropes and into an Ace Crusher for another two-count.
Banks comes back with a lariat, then a Fisherman’s brainbuster for a two-count, and they then go into some infinite waistlock reversals. Kirby sprays Ligero with water as they headed into the ropes, as Banks gets the win with a spin-out torture rack. Take away the Kirby stuff, this was a decent match, but my word that storyline stuff dragged this down a lot. **¾
Adam Pacitti comes out again, and finally he does something. He books Kirby vs. Conners for the WCPW title on the iPPV. Why didn’t he do that originally, but with a “heel”-ish stipulation? Kirby celebrates, as does the crowd. Why is Kirby being booked as a heel?
Pacitti remains in the ring, and he gets booed. Jay Lethal’s off the Refuse to Lose show because of “contractual reasons”. Good job they didn’t do too much to build it… his replacement is announced as Alberto el Patron! Whose ring music sounds like La Cucaracha in the form of his old WWE theme.
Alberto is fired up, and asks the fans if they want the reason why he’s not in WWE. Apparently he’s missed the love, passion and energy for wrestling. Well, at least it’s been delivered with more enthusiasm than the generic TNA promo for these guys. El Patron drops the MF-bomb, which gets the chant of “are you watching Vince McMahon?”
At least Bertie’s looking happy to be here, and he drops the MF bomb again as he declares “I’m a mother****ing wrestler!”. Big Damo and Adam Blampied interrupt, because of course he does. El Patron asks a fan to clarify a chant of “you fat bastard” towards Big Damo, and my word, Bertie’s having fun now he’s been let loose.
Your standard grating heel stuff from Blampied, who struggles to comfort Damo as El Patron ringleads another chant. Adam Pacitti returns, and books el Patron vs. Big Damo, with the stipulation of if Damo loses, he gets fired. If Damo wins, he gets an Internet title match at “Refuse to Load… Lose”. Sounds like some old rental DVDs I had… Oh, and that match is now!
Big Damo vs. Alberto el Patron
Blampied interferes from the off, but it leads to Damo cutting off Alberto on the outside. Bertie returns fire by sending Damo into the ring barriers, before he hits a Mongolian chop off the top rope for a one-count. More interference from Blampied sees him grab hold of Alberto’s ankle as he was on the top rope, and a superplex takes down el Patron. Blampied slaps el Patron with a really weak slap. Seriously, it wouldn’t even have swatted a fly! Back inside, Damo slams Alberto and goes for a rear chinlock, but el Patron fights out, only to get thrown into the corner for… a weaker slap.
El Patron counters a superplex with a Tarantula-style armbar, before a step-up enziguiri takes down Damo from the top rope. A series of clotheslines take down Damo, as does a backcracker, only for the Northern Irishman to take down the former WWE champion with a Fireman’s carry drop and a back senton for a near-fall.
A superkick gets el Patron a near-fall, before Damo counters an armbar and eventually gets a two-count from a low cross-body. Damo goes for a superplex, but el Patron headbutts himself free, and Damo lands in the middle rope in position for a double stomp out of the corner. Blampied gets involved again, but eats an enziguiri and is knocked to the floor! Damo jumps in again with a dropkick into the corner for a near-fall… and out of nowhere, Damo goes for the Ulster Plantation, only for it to be countered into an armbar, and Damo taps! His WCPW career is done! ***¼
If you’re counting, that’s twice we’ve had “career ending matches” in WCPW built and delivered on the same show.
Damo gets the “goodbye” song… and gets the “you’re fired” farewell, to a mixed reaction. Jesus, this cheap ticket crowd’s turned Pacitti heel! Pacitti tells Blampied he can keep his job, if he wins a streetfight at the iPPV against Rampage. Blampied faints, and I sense some screwy booking here… full on Pacitti heel turn, perhaps?
The show goes off the air with a mixture of a shocked Adam Blampied, and Alberto el Patron celebrating. Well, they delivered what they needed to for the iPPV, albeit with another rushed main event, but as far as the in-ring content, you can’t complain. As for the iPPV, let’s see where that goes. We all know the pitfalls of internet-only PPVs, so here’s hoping they’ve learned from the many lessons out there!