The final WCPW show of the year came to a head with a career vs. career match, as Martin Kirby or Adam Pacitti would end the year in exile.
#TLDR: Alberto el Patron and Johnny Mundo finally had their match (delayed from the iPPV), whilst Martin Kirby closed the chapter on a career in WCPW.
The Full Review: The “season ending” episode of WCPW (a naming convention I thought they’d ditched…) opened with a now-standard to-camera piece with Alex Shane and Dave Bradshaw, and we’re into our opener…
Johnny Mundo vs. Alberto el Patron
Or Albero el Patron, as the crack team at WCPW called him on-screen. Great quality control there lads… Mundo cut a pre-match promo against Newcastle to turn heel, calling them “Mackems”. Yeah, I love Mundo’s research here!
They again bleep some swearing, as Alberto babyfaces himself, before the match starts with a lot of stalling. So much so, that Larry Zbyszko would be proud. So much so that you notice that Paige is hiding in plain sight at ringside. Finally el Patron throws Mundo to the outside, where they brawl around the ring, before Mundo uses referee Steve Lynskey as a human shield, allowing himself to hide under the ring.
Alberto pulls Mundo out, but gets thrown into a chair at ringside, before Mundo put a chair around the throat of el Patron and threw him into the ringpost a la EVIL. That only got him a one-count, as did a Shining Wizard, before a springboard kick from Mundo ended a brief Patron comeback.
El Patron blocked a split-legged moonsault and hit back with an inverted superplex for an eventual near-fall. Mundo was thrown into the bottom rope but was able to kick out as Patron seemed to have knocked him loopy, only for a superkick to the head to miss as Mundo moved away.
A neckbreaker from Mundo laid out Alberto, but it was just Alberto playing possum as he popped up and hit a superkick for another two-count. Mundo blocked a dive from el Patron with a kick from the floor, but a double foot-stomp was hit anyway as Alberto continued to target the former Johnny Nitro’s arm.
Mundo’s held in a tree of woe, but he sits up as el Patron hit a shoulder charge through the bottom turnbuckles. Regardless, Alberto got back to the ring first and tried for a belly-to-back superplex, only for Mundo to block it and hit a double stomp of his own, then the Starship Pain for a near-fall as Berty grabbed the bottom rope.
Mundo went for a 450 Splash but landed on his feet… before being caught from the ground in a cross armbreaker as el Patron got the win. A weird finish, but a decent match after the ultra-slow start. ***¼
After that “Albero” graphical hitch, I really can’t not notice how the “O” in the Alberto on his entrance video looks… stranded, almost lost from the rest of his name. Watch it and see what I mean.
They plug their Milton Keynes show and iPPV – headlined by Kurt Angle and Alberto el Patron. Hopefully they can spell his name by then…
We go backstage to Adam Pacitti’s office with Jack the Jobber, still wearing a bandage like a du rag. Pacitti is nervous, and orders Jack to get the Swords of Essex to accompany Bea Priestley to the ring. Apparently “we need that title”. Is this a TNA-esque “titles equals power” thing now?
WCPW Women’s Championship: Bea Priestley vs. Nixon Newell (c)
Jack was ultra swift in getting the Swords to accompany Bea to ringside…
They light into each other as they enter ECW “catfight” territory, before Newell gets slapped and replies with a kick to the knees. Scott Wainwright immediately gets involved and grabs Newell’s leg, which allows Priestley to hit a back suplex. A running knee strike ends with Priestley bridging back to get a near-fall, before they went back to trading shots.
Newell tope’s into Robinson and Wainwright, before a Shining Wizard gets her the win. That was a shockingly-short match… Not much of anything to be fair, but it was good while it lasted. **
Paul Robinson ran in after the three count and punched out Newell, as he and Wainwright set her for some double-teaming, and finally a belt-shot from Bea Priestley, who left with Nixon’s title belt.
Backstage now with the Coffeys. Trent Seven and Tyler Bate approach them, and offer a match so both teams could get back to winning ways. Joe Coffey accepts, but Mark wanders away… teasing dissension after, ooh, weeks in the company. Is Vince Russo around?!
Prospect (Lucas Archer & Alex Gracie) vs. Moustache Mountain (Tyler Bate & Trent Seven) vs. The Coffeys (Mark Coffey & Joe Coffey)
James Kennedy and Drake are listed on the Prospect graphic, despite neither being there… this is apparently a triple threat elimination match, and we start with Joe Coffey looking to blast Lucas Archer with the Black Coffey, before hitting an inverted Giant Swing into a facebuster for a near-fall.
Alex Gracie tagged in and immediately bounced off of Coffey, before the two Scotsmen combined to drop Gracie with an uppercut. Mark gets knocked into the turnbuckles, which leads Alex Gracie to pull down his trunks to reveal a second pair with his face on, and some comedy with a stink face that didn’t work out too well.
Mark Coffey worked with Tyler Bate for a spell, taking him down with a bodyslam before Bate replied by going for a dive… but a lariat from Gracie cut him off. Instead, Gracie went airborne, but instead stopped to moon the crowd with his arse-face trunks. Another blocked dive, this time with Lucas Archer blocking it, before Archer accidentally somersault plancha’d into Gracie on the floor, as Bate finally hit his dive – a sweet no-hands plancha to the pile on the floor!
Back in the ring, Mark Coffey took down Archer, before Gracie helped out with some uppercuts as the ring started to fill up. Moustache Mountain dished out chops and uppercuts to everyone else, before forcing Archer to slingshot into Gracie in another comedic sequence. Bate ate a double-team move from Prospect, before the Coffeys wiped out Lucas Archer to make the eliminating pin.
Mark and Bate took over, with a rebound rolling kick from Bate knocking down the younger Coffey, before Joe came back into things. Tyler ducked a Black Coffey, before Mark accidentally got into the path of a second attempt as a double-team Black Coffey went badly awry. Once Joe Coffey had been thrown out, that left Mark alone for a chop-assisted German suplex, and Moustache Mountain’s first win makes them number one contenders to Moss and Slater’s tag titles! ***
The Coffeys engage in a shoving match at ringside, and it looks like Mark’s had enough… they’ve had, what, three matches together and the Coffeys are splitting up?!
Another backstage segment, this time outside with Broken Matt Hardy and Martin Kirby. Hardy talks up the main event; if you know Matt’s catchphrases, this was a paint-by-numbers promo with a very confused Kirby.
It’s curious to see how many dates they’re running in the first months of next year that aren’t Newcastle… maybe they’re not ditching their home base, but it does raise some questions.
Bully Ray & Swords of Essex (Paul Robinson & Scott Wainwright) vs. Martin Kirby & Matt Hardy
Adam Pacitti and Bea Priestley were out at ringside, the former acting “concerned and nervous” but just looking like he was in a stupor.
Martin Kirby and his slightly-smaller, but more vicious clone Paul Robinson started us off, as Kirby landed a couple of forearms and a leg lariat as Robinson tagged out to Wainwright. Kirby hit a rana and rolled out of it, before Wainwright took a dropkick and tagged out to Bully Ray. Bully insisted on facing Hardy, instead of the man he towered over in Kirby, and yes, we got the singles reunion of the old TLC matches.
Bully and Hardy traded right hands, before Bully took over on Matt in the corner. Hardy replied with a series of “delete” chops, then a bulldog out of the corner for a count of one. A blind tag to Kirby led to a superkick as Hardy hit a superkick on Bully, which led to a five-way brawl that saw Kirby play Jeff Hardy for the step-up cannonball spot… which ended in Bully dumping him with a clothesline.
Robinson came back in to brutalise Kirby as the Pacitti trio cycled through tags, before Bully Ray got “obese” chants. That’s a bit harsh… More brutality from a bloodied-up Robinson came as Kirby was kept away from Hardy, as the Newcastle crowd swapped “Dobby” chants for “Right Said Fred” chants at the former kickboxer Robinson.
Eventually Kirby outsmarted the two Swords, only for Bully Ray to head over and pull down Hardy just as the tag was about to be made. Kirby willingly invited chops from Bully Ray, as each one sent him flying into the corner, and this seemed to get the crowd back onside, especially as Kirby countered some Dusty punches with a dropkick.
Hardy finally gets the hot tag in and bites away at Paul Robinson, eventually getting a bloody mouth after “biting off” Robinson’s ear. A sit-out crucifix powerbomb earned a near-fall after Hardy caught Robinson in the corner, before a pair of Twist of Fates and a ref bump inbetween them. For some reason, Matt grabbed a chair as the ring emptied, before fighting up the aisle with Bully Ray… which left Martin Kirby in the ring against the Swords. Wainwright grabbed the chair, but Kirby ducked and did the Eddie Guerrero sell job. The referee went to call for the bell, but Adam Pacitti called for the mic and made it a no-DQ match instead.
Paul Robinson snuck in and rolled up Kirby for a near-fall with a handful of tights, before taking the Sable Bomb for the win! For such a momentous match, they didn’t go overboard with the swerves as I thought they would… but then again, this didn’t quite feel like such a “company-changing” match as it perhaps should have. A perfectly fine handicap main-event, mind you… ***½
After the match, Adam Pacitti entered the ring and slumped to his knees. Kirby took the microphone and offered to get the former GM a chair… he grab a pink chair from under the ring and Adam makes his way to it. The crowd chant for Pacitti to perform a sexual favour, but he doesn’t respond (despite the crowd chanting “yes”… what is it with Newcastle?!). Pacitti’s gone all Linda McMahon in 2000/2001.
Kirby gives everyone Christmas off, before dropping Pacitti out of the chair with a superkick! Hardy comes out as Pacitti slinks to the back, and declares that Pacitti and his club have been deleted!
So, Martin Kirby is the new GM of WCPW going into their “third season” in the new year. Can WCPW handle running without any of their YouTube personalities over the show… or will they rip a page out of the WWE book and reinstate one as an “over-seer” of the GM. Commissioner Pacitti? In more ways than one, the new year really will be a new chapter for WCPW – let’s see where their next moves take them, as the promotion spreads to more new venues… will the new direction mean less reliance on the done-to-death heel authority figure, or will they find a new way to beat that horse?
With it being Christmas next weekend and New Year’s Eve the following week, I’m guessing there’s no new shows – and with no new tapings until January 5, we’ll be looking at at least three weeks before we see where WCPW goes next!