We’re back again for more from the UWA – as it entered what would be its penultimate episode on the L!VE TV cable channel.

The show starts with a “this week…” montage, having seemingly eschewed all studio links, and apparently we’ve got Paul Sloane swearing, a British Bouncer Brawl, and that Steve Lynskey gauntlet match.

Flash Barker and Kerry Cabrero is our opening contest in the aforementioned British Bouncer Brawl. To tell us what one of those is, we have Mal Mason who advises that each man has two representatives at ringside, but they can’t be either Stevie Knight or Phil Powers. The cue-card recital ended with a good line for once “if your name’s not on the list, you’re not coming in!”

Ahead of the match, ring announcer Paul Martin tells us that these bouncers have been chosen – in vain – to stop interference. He’s optimistic then, eh? Our four “enforcers” are Danny Royal, Big Papa T, Mad Dog McPhie and Drew McDonald. I think Kerry picked the better pair there…

British Bouncer Brawl: Flash Barker vs. Kerry Cabrero
We start with a bit of technical stuff – for a brawl! – with a headlock takedown, then a reversal from a waistlock takedown by Cabrero. Barker replies with a drop toe-hold, as the tempo rises with a spinning heel kick that sends Cabrero to the outside, only for Barker to rush out and immediately bring him back in… but only after he gets a few shot in on Mad Dog and McDonald.

Barker gets thrown out by Cabrero, and of course, the heel bouncers put the boots to him, which prompts Danny Royal to make a save. Barker makes a comeback, chopping away on Cabrero, then taking him down with a suplex that leads to an ankle lock… but Cabrero was in the ropes before the hold could even be applied.

Cabrero takes over after having a breather, and comes in with a low dropkick to a seated Barker. A series of elbows follow, then a swandive headbutt for a near-fall, before Barker punches his way back into things and ends up… with a Bronco Buster? What the actual hell?! How does the Bronco Buster fit in with that MMA gimmick?

Cabrero kicks Barker low once more, before Barker recovers to grab a heel hook, but his bouncers pushed the ropes so a break could be made easily. After a break, we see Cabrero kicking away at Barker’s ribs, before throwing him back outside… but this time into the path of the babyface bouncers, who until now had been anonymous. Stevie Knight and Phil Powers try to come out, but the heel bouncers stop the pair of them from getting past the curtain.

The referee gets distracted by all of that, and in amongst the faux chaos, Cabrero hits Barker over the head with a chair, but only gets a two count out of it. Barker comes back again and catches Cabrero with a crossface, before sending Cabrero into the corner for a Stinger splash. On commentary, Steve Morgan makes a valid point about how Barker’s seemingly unaffected by the earlier unprotected chairshot to the head, before Barker hits a Michinoku Driver for the win. Decent match, and thank God they didn’t go overboard on the “you’re not coming in” interference! **¾

Dan Berlinka lives, but only in the medium of voiceover, as he narrates a package that sums up the Phil Powers/Paul Sloane storyline, focusing on how Sloane disqualified Powers in a title match – therefore costing him the TV title – and then the heel turn. Next week, we’ve got Sloane vs. Powers… and that leads to an interview segment with Paul Sloane.

By the way, this week they spelled Paul Sloane’s name with an e – in the earlier shows it was “Sloan”. Sloan demands that his music’s silenced, but he goes into generic heel promo 101 territory, saying that the fans are fat and they stink. Nothing about ugliness, or was that in the next class?

In the background, there’s two signs: “WHO BOOKED THIS RUBBISH?” (which had a massive “censored” bar on it), and another anti-Lynskey sign, “Steve Lynskey is fat, he is round, his arse hangs on the ground” Sloane continues the generic heel shtick, and says that he’ll show Powers what it’s like to get his (silenced) kicked. So we can show the word “arse” on a sign, but we can’t say it? Fair enough…

Sloane shoots down the idea that Phil Powers is a local boy, by saying that he’s local too, and then he just throws down the microphone and walks away. Well, he showed anger, but nothing else.

We see another video package, this time on Jody Flash, with Dan Berlinka voicing it over. We see clips of Flash losing the UWA tag titles, before making his return from a trip of Japan… and we’re straight into a match where if Jody wins, he and Big Papa T get a shot at the tag titles.

Jody Flash vs. Paul Tyrell
Tyrell starts off with an arm wringer, but it’s reversed as Flash works an armbar as he’s forced into a technical outing… which features a couple of hiptosses en route to a commercial break.

We return to see Tyrell grounding Flash in a front facelock, before Flash returns with a springboard spinning heel kick off the apron. A springboard moonsault press takes down Tyrell, as does a variant of the Spanish fly (or a “Mexican armdrag”), but Tyrell instantly hit back with a reverse lifting DDT, almost a reverse Bloody Sunday.

A torture rack into a neckbreaker follows from the tag team champion, before some avalanches in the corner leads to Flash being placed on the top rope for… a top rope ‘rana. Yet again, why are the heels busting out high flying moves??

Tyrell stamps away on Flash’s hand, but Flash finally comes back with a leaping back kick, then a dropkick to send Tyrell to the outside, where he wanders into the path of a Sasuke special. Flash looked to hit a ‘rana off the apron, but that’s turned into a powerbomb on the floor.

Flash gets crotched in the ring post, before they wander into the crowd, and we get a hit of a highspot, as Flash walks up the theatre hall and returns with a moonsault press to Tyrell. I think I remember seeing that in the magazines back in the day…

Back in the ring, Flash misses a Blockbuster neckbreaker before Tyrell dumps him with a clothesline… but Tyrell pulls him up after a two count. Flash gets dumped on the top rope again as Tyrell goes for a superplex, but Flash fights out and shoves the champion down to the mat.

They go back and forth a bit as Tyrell hits a triple powerbomb – going all Brock Lesnar before there was a Brock – and then went up to the top rope for a big splash. Tyrell doesn’t go for the cover again though, and again taunts the crowd, which leaves him open for a sunset flip out of the corner, as Jody Flash steals the win. Another decent match, with a slip-on-the-banana finish after Tyrell had gotten too cocky. ***

After the match, Tyrell attacks Flash and rolls him back into the ring for some more pounding in the ropes, which apparently meant that Flash had to go to hospital. An interesting point, despite swearing that he wouldn’t be seen with the Death Squad’s old tag titles, Paul Tyrell still hadn’t gotten his new titles.

Another video package follows to recap Doug Williams’ story arc in the UWA. You can probably tell what clip they replayed yet-again, before showing a clip of Jonny Storm stealing the UWA title belt a few weeks ago – which leads to the gauntlet series!

This is a series of matches, and if Doug wins all of them, he’ll get his UWA title belt back… and Steve Lynskey will leave the promotion. Not sure what happens if Doug loses any of these, which sort-of telegraphs things, does it not?

Doug Williams vs. Mad Dog McPhie
Mad Dog attacks Williams in the corner, then crotches him in the ring post multiple times… and he just keeps doing it over and over and over, until the bell rings. Mad Dog’s disqualified, and this is like the first fall in a lucha match – utterly worthless, and it’s not gonna get a rating.

Doug Williams vs. Jonny Storm
As Mad Dog goes to the back, Jonny Storm takes over, flying into the ring with a moonsault press (heel, flashy moves, we meet again!). After a one-count, a series of dropkicks keeps Doug down, before Storm struggles with a slam en route to a split-legged moonsault and a near-fall. Williams gets a boot to the face as he rushes into the corner, before Storm lands a hurricanrana from a victory roll position. Doug hits back with a back body drop, then he dumps Storm across the top rope, before a dropkick takes him to the floor.

Williams goes flying with a tope that knocked down the cameraman, but Drew McDonald attacks Williams on the outside, allowing Storm to hit a baseball slide into a headscissor takedown on the floor. Storm runs off the apron for a ‘rana, but he’s popped up into the ringpost, before Williams takes him back into the ring, where a Quebrada ends this short-but-decent outing. **½

Doug Williams vs. Drew McDonald
We’ve got two minutes left in the video, but we start with Steve Lynskey slapping Jonny Storm… and then Drew McDonald grabs the microphone and chews out Lynskey. Apparently this is Doug’s lucky night, as McDonald walks out with Jonny Storm… and I guess that’s a forfeit? Again, there’s no point in rating this…

Doug’s left in the ring with Lynskey… Williams grabs the belt and waffles Lynskey with it, which isn’t sold well at all, as Lynskey holds his head and runs out. Well, that was a really anticlimactic end as the show rushes to the credits without as much as a plug for anything next week. Until the main event gauntlet, we had some decent (by UWA standards) stuff, but the lack of anything being built for the future was really ominous by this point. In spite of some attempted hints at things like “where’s the Death Squad gone?”, the UWA just felt like they were running the clock down… and midnight was striking next week.