Time for a look at something new, as we take a dip into one of the UK’s newer promotions – Riptide Wrestling.
Based out of Brighton, Riptide only debuted in June of this year with a show that featured a lot of familiar names, yet was a complete departure in terms of how it’s presented. In what’s becoming a bit of a trend among smaller UK promotions, Riptide’s running out of a church – the Brighthelm Centre. It’s an all standing affair, which kinda sucks if you’re getting sprayed. Like, say, with Spike Trivet’s cheapo sparkling wine.
Spike Trivet vs. Jack Sexsmith
Before the match, Trivet introduces himself as “wrestling’s answer to Theresa May” – a question that I’m sure nobody asked, but hey ho. On the last show, Trivet had a match won by forfeit over Chuck Mambo, before being interrupted by a “rainbow gummi bear”. Trivet’s mad at that, and how Jack Sexsmith wins with a condom – a move that Trivet reckons should be a DQ.
I guess we get to find out now, as Trivet gets to go down that “Rainbow Road”, and since this isn’t a place that bothers with music issues, we get to hear the Divinyls. Hooray! Jack’s wondering why he’s got to face Spike again, and the match starts with a jump start. There’s some rather curious style choices here, with the ring announcer getting some (accidental?) echo announcing Jack, whilst our moving camera is a bit of an acquired taste… but it’s different, which means I like this (at least, for now!)
Spike beats down Sexsmith from the off, avoiding a Pearl Neckbreaker before accidentally suplexing himself into a neckbreaker. I never had Jack pegged as a YOSHI-HASHI guy… Trivet goes back into Jack though, throwing him into the ringpost as he tried to take the easy way out. K-Kwik’s old sit-out front suplex nearly gets Trivet a win after he somehow bloodied his nose, and it’s turning into the familiar beating for Sexsmith, with his left shoulder keeping that bullseye on it.
Eventually Jack fights back in with some Sliced Bread out of the corner, but Trivet nails a single-arm DDT to stem the tide before hitting Alex Shane’s old One Night Stand for a near-fall. Another comeback from Jack sees him land the LGBDT before reaching for Mr Cocko, but it’s blocked and removed as Trivet nails the Birthright (double underhook into an over-the-knee facebuster) for another two-count.
Trivet then mocks Jack by going for his own Mr Cocko… but Jack reverses it, prompting Trivet to kick him low for the DQ. This feud must continue – and I have no problem with that, as this was a lovely battle between the arrogant prick and the beloved underdog. ***¼
Holy crap – I love this “result” graphic. The only way this could be perfected is if they made it in an 8-bit style instead.
TK Cooper vs. Chuck Mambo
Entrances have been sliced here, and we’re in that unfortunate time period between TK returning and TK getting injured. It’s pretty scrappy early as Mambo reminds us that sometimes he does do a wrestle – this time, going to some familiar holds! The referee reminds TK that he could get pinned from a toe hold – something that surprised him, clearly. They mix plenty of flips in with their basics, before TK cowered in the corner to avoid a superkick. Hey, it works! They headed outside as TK threatened to hit Mambo where it hurts – by ripping up a beachball!
Mambo threatens to rip “TK’s lady in half”, but he quickly apologies to Dahlia as Chuck’s search for a superkick remained fruitless as they moved onto threatening photographers. Eh, they can take one of them, I suppose. Down go the photographers, but TK and Chuck keep swapping their hostages, this time taking a pair of ring crew, before they gave and received forearms from them.
Well, this escalated quickly.
Mambo dives to the outside, before he misses the Reefbreak diving knees, allowing TK to get back into the match… and remember the fact that he’s Samoan, which means his head can probably go through concrete. Somehow Chuck survived that and nearly got the win with the Reefbreak, only to get caught with an axe kick and a roll-up into a neckbreaker slam. TK Okada, is it?
That wasn’t enough to put away Mambo, who managed a running neckbreaker slam – the Chuck You – and that might be the first time in recorded history Chuck’s ever hit that move for the win! Another enjoyable match, and so far I’m really liking what I’m seeing out of Riptide. It’s not just “another UK indy”… ***
Eddie Dennis vs. Martina
Billed as a “drinking match”, this cannot end well, especially when Eddie’s breaking the set on his way out! Desperado is the drink of choice, and Eddie quickly realises he quit his job to do this. That realisation led to a drunken “match”, which Martina nearly won with a roll-up before we were interrupted by Lord Gideon Grey and his lackey… Kurtis Chapman? The hell is this pairing?
Chapman’s in the star rating business it seems, saying that Martina’s “barely worth one”. Oh my God he’s got a keyboard… he’s a… keyboard warrior?! Eddie calls out Chapman for being too scared to drink, although the crowd reckon he’s too young. They bully him into drinking (and not eating, as I originally wrote, and oh my God, security hits the ring to chuck out Kurtis for underage drinking. ALL THE GODDAMN STARS HERE.
In the midst of that, Gideon attacks them from behind, so we have a three-way?
Eddie Dennis vs. Martina vs. Lord Gideon Grey vs. Kurtis Chapman (eventually!)
Eddie and Martina have sobered up a bit, but Gideon’s still a little sharper, and manages to avoid a “Vagina Indytaker Thing” by kicking Martina… yeah. There.
The crowd beg for Martina to inflict similar torture on Gideon’s genitals, but instead she tosses him outside for a dive. Looks like the booze has worn off now, so she reaches for another can before accidentally spraying Eddie with a mouthful of beer.
Gideon’s back for the trolling One Winged Stunner, but Martina gets out at two! Somehow the crowd confuses Gideon with Jordan Devlin as he spits more beer at Martina, angering Eddie into a fightback as a bucklebomb from Eddie and a Bronco buster from Martina gets us back where we started…
Vagina Indytaker Thing!
This time it connects, but of course it’s now a three-way so Eddie and Martina argue over who should get the pin… and their drunken argument leads to them both swinging, missing, and collapsing. Music hits out of nowhere, and… Kurtis Chapman is back with a drawn on beard! Who gave him a Sharpie?!
In the darkness, he whacks Martina and Eddie with his wireless keyboard, angering Gideon. Yep, Gideon gets the keyboard too, before no-selling “a fucking overdone” brainbuster and paintbrushing the kid. How can you not love this?! Seshbreaker, Next Stop Driver, and a pair of pins later… Eddie and Martina win. Well, that was a thing! All the goddamned stars!
Dahlia Black vs. Candyfloss
Like with TK earlier, this was actually Dahlia’s first match back in the UK after returning at PROGRESS the prior weekend, and it seemed that Candyfloss just wanted a hug rather than a wrestle.
Dahlia wasn’t in quite the same mood, but this was a nice, playful-yet-aggressive outing as Dahlia went along with Candyfloss’ stuff, tweaking it a little bit to try and win. Like rolling through a sit-down pin as she tried to out-do the rookie. A Travis Banks-esque cannonball crushes Candyfloss for a near-fall, only for Candy to become rather elusive, and surprise the Kiwi with a La Mistica.Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that either.
They switch between the armbar and a roll-up, before another stand-off ended peacefully. Sortof. Candy manages to eke ahead with some corner dropkicks, before just about dropping Dahlia into a cross armbreaker, which gave us a nice callback to TK’s predicament earlier as Dahlia fought to not get pinned in a submission attempt.
After making the ropes, Dahlia kicked away at Candyfloss, before missing with the Dark Side of the Moon(sault). A wheelbarrow suplex straight after fixes things though, as does a new slant on the Widow’s Peak that earned Dahlia the win. Bloody hell, this was a nice little outing – a few things that didn’t quite go as expected, but on the whole, an enjoyable match. ***
Colt Cabana, Candice LeRae & Joey Ryan vs. British Strong Style (Tyler Bate, Pete Dunne & Trent Seven)
Ah, I forgot this was in the summer where everyone on earth was doing British Strong Style trios matches. Riptide were no exception, and they managed to tick two boxes in one go, booking the BSS trios match AND having Colt Cabana on their card too, for the indy seal of approval. All they need now is El Ligero on a show and that’s a true British indy!
Colt accidentally feels the force of Joey’s dong, and we get underway with Joey wanting to feel some British Strong Style, even if it’s just on the tip… and where he failed with Tyler and Trent, of course he doesn’t succeed with Pete. Since Dunne got a whole handful of Colt instead, before rubbing his hands at the prospect of doing the same to Candice. Err, Brighton, chanting “touch her dick” at Candice LeRae… do we need to go through human biology here? Unless there’s something they know that I don’t?
Dunne instead gets suckered into touching Joey’s junk, and that leads to a Mexican stand-off before things head outside the ring, with anything and everything being used as weapons. I swear one of the cameraman cried for help as they tried to shoot from safety… and that they did, catching Dunne choking Joey with a towel as Colt tried to break it up… by choking Peter with a towel.
Guys, quit using towels!
Back in the ring, Trent breaks out the rapid-fire chops, before Tyler kills Joey Ryan with the one inch punch. How that never caught on, I’ll never know! Next up, Dunne threatens to bite off Joey’s dong, before Trent chops the referee en route to Joey Ryan. He’s just a kid, so the ref lets that slide… as Trent then finds out that you can’t atomic drop Joey. Nor can you kick him low. Not with that dong.
The “home” team did better when the numbers game went their way, as Trent fooled Colt into a double enziguiri from his buddies, before the Seven Stars lariat earned a near-fall,. Candice LeRae comes in next, working her way into a rope-walk ‘rana on the apron to Bate, before dishing out an assisted tornado DDT back inside for a near-fall.
Things built up into a parade of submissions – Colt’s reverse Boston crab, an Octopus from Candice… and a superkick from Ryan on Bate that almost sealed the win. That doesn’t work, so we go to Dusty Punches, biting, and of course, triple Pedigrees, as British Strong Style are clearly loving all this. Especially when they try the Power of Paul with water spitting to keep the shenanigans alive.
Tyler dizzies himself with an Airplane Spin and falls into the Joey Ryan trap, before countering with his moustache. Yes, it’s bloody ridiculous, but it works, even more so when Trent and Peter try to help out and earn themselves a triple Penis Suplex before Candice hit the ring for a superkick-assisted Ballsplex to Tyler for the win. Beautiful nonsense – and before you ask “why did I not hate this”… well, it’s not like Riptide’s established any storylines, unlike other promotions where the BSS trios train rolled through this summer. ***½
Jimmy Havoc vs. Marty Scurll
Our main event, then, sees two former PROGRESS champions do battle in a match that started surprisingly evenly, with Scurll looking to keep it on the mat. By this time in the show, the only lighting in the venue were the spotlights from above – which made for some spectacular camera angles, particularly when they whipped each other into the light.
Havoc took the advantage with chops and forearms to Scurll in the corner, before an arm whip sent the King of the Goths outside for cover. Although he avoided a superkick on the apron, Marty kept targeting the arm as he wore down Jimmy to a largely negative reaction. Yep, Brighton’s a town that doesn’t seem to ironically cheer the Villain. Unfortunately, there were a few who seemed to be intent on shouting out stuff from YouTube for… reasons.
Fortunately, Havoc cuts it off with his comeback, culminating in a double stomp for a near-fall, before Marty tried to block a Rainmaker, and earned himself a pumphandle bomb instead. The match gets a little even from there, helped by Marty threatening a finger snap on the top rope, before the unthinkable happened.
SOMEONE OUTSMARTED THE JUST KIDDING SUPERKICK! Thank you Jimmy! And thank you again for throwing a “not kidding” version too…
The pace quickened a little from there as Marty went in search of a chicken wing, only to get thwarted by some forearms and a Rainmaker for another two-count. With the momentum swinging the other way, Marty goes into superkick mode, blasting Havoc on the apron before throwing him back in for a Tiger Driver, before a finger snap and a Mouse Trap picked up another two-count.
It continued to be one-way traffic from there as a fallaway piledriver barely gets a one-count, so Marty just goes to the chicken wing for a rather abrupt win. Solid enough as a match, but a weird choice of main event. ***½
With Riptide’s first event having been consigned to just the memories of those who were there live (or saw some of the released clips), this was effectively the promotion’s debut to a wider audience… and it was a heartily positive one at that. The lighting and overall presentation of Riptide is different from just about every other independent that’s out there – which really helps when it comes to standing out from a rather crowded pack.
At time of writing, these shows are available via Riptide’s Pivotshare site, on a per-show deal, much like Fight Club: Pro and ATTACK! We’ll be dipping into their catalogue, and with enjoyable outings like this, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be giving them a try too!