We’ve got more from Brighton now, as Riptide’s Point Break saw some rather big lads come to town… along with a rather stubborn table for our main event!
Dahlia Black vs. Candyfloss
A rematch from Riptide Returns, Dahlia starts with an offer for Candyfloss… it’s a bag of pick ‘n’ mix. Or to underline how evil she is, liquorice. Since nobody likes that stuff, she had another offer, but Candyfloss doesn’t like being kicked around, so she forces an armbar attempt early.
Dahlia teaches Candyfloss a lesson by force-feeding her liquorice, and that makes Candyfloss snap. Her reply? Shoving a muffin into Dahlia’s face. Ah, the poor buggers who’ll be cleaning this ring afterwards… That bag of liquorice comes into play again as Dahlia throws it Candy’s way, before more sugary goodness comes her way. TANGY LACES! Suddenly I’m being reminded with every reason why I’m the size I am, especially when Candy bit her way free and bursts into a sugar-rush of a comeback.
Dahlia’s had enough and empties out the pick and mix… AND a box of Celebrations onto the mat. Now we’re getting into the serious stuff! Candyfloss escapes a Widow’s Peak into the sweets, and quickly goes back to the cross armbreaker, only for Dahlia to roll up and powerbomb her into the confectionary anyway.
Candy gets the win in the end with that cross armbreaker, after blocking another kick, and so comes to an end a bizarre opener. Enjoyable as hell, and a break from the norm, which is always great! **¾
Damon Moser vs. Spike Trivet
With Chris Ridgeway not here, Spike Trivet’s back to being a dick, this time taking on Damon Moser. They keep it on the ground early, but Spike makes use of that fantastically-loose bottom rope to get an early break.
The pair go hold-for-hold, before Trivet gets a little too cocky as Moser pancaked him before sending him to the outside, where the tide turns as the political chants start to fire up. Moser nearly gets the win with a huge back suplex, but Spike goes straight to the eyes to keep the beating going. We’ve got an overly keen referee, one who refused to count a cover because Moser’s shoulders weren’t *quite* on the mat, but eventually all those rights fire up Moser. Not just because he’s ginger either, as he kicked Trivet into the corner for a cannonball and a Coast to Coast.
Out of nowhere, Trivet hits back with a Slingblade and a Samoan driver, but Moser’s got enough left in him to kick out, and even to hit what I can best describe as a fallaway gutwrench suplex for a near-fall of his own. All the punches lead to Moser going back on top, only for a wacky lucha roll to help Spike trap his foe in a Rings of Saturn… but Damon’s too close to the ropes, and manages to force a break before slapping the taste of Trivet’s mouth, as a spin-out Fisherman’s suplex and a Knee Trembler got him the win. A bit of a surprise result there, but a popular one for the Brighton crowd after a solid match between two guys who are starting to make their names right now… **¾
Chris Brookes vs. Chuck Mambo
If Moser/Trivet were two guys at a similar level, this was two guys who were at opposite ends of the Britwres spectrum. Still, at least Chuck’ll be home by the beach…
A simple wristlock confuses Chuck early, but he eventually remembers how to escape it, earning himself a high-five. Brookes goes for some joint manipulation, which leads to him getting a phone call from Mambo… who’s called to tell him he know show to do a wristlock. Shenanigans!
It’s a pretty methodical match, but it gives plenty of opportunity for Brookes to shit-talk about the shit wolf, before taking Mambo outside so everyone could get a closer view of his face being pulled apart. Brookes starts targeting Mambo’s arm, and yes, it means we go to the extra-drippy wet-willie – something that woke Mambo up, as he was able to take Brookes down with a tiltawhirl backbreaker.
A Blockbuster followed for our friend Chuck, as he continued his ascendency with a springboard flip dive to the outside… then a fireman’s carry gutbuster back in the ring, as Mambo pushed the wolf-less one to the limit. Another springboard’s rudely interrupted as Brookes’ swinging rope hung neckbreaker looked to do the job, but Mambo had fight left in him… enough to kick out of a slingshot cutter and F5, and even enough to hit the Chuck You…
One missed dive changes things though, but a Mambo Destroyer puts it right back there as he actually hits Chuck You… and Mambo Wins?! That’s a massive upset, and a hard-fought win for Mambo, who seemed to be right at home by the beach. Maybe it’s a gimmick: he only wins on the coast? ***¼
Aussie Open (Mark Davis & Kyle Fletcher) vs. The OJMO & Big T Justice vs. Martina & Shay Purser vs. Anti-Fun Police (Chief Deputy Dunne & Los Federales Santos Jr.)
During the match graphic we’re told that the Aussie Open open challenge was interrupted by Martina, who wanted to add herself to the mix. Her partner: the ref, Shay Purser. Universes colliding here… especially when Mark Davis said the F word, and summoned the Anti-Fun Police.
I’m assuming the chants of “what the fucking hell is that” were aimed at Santos Jr, a man previously described as a “human bean bag”. Dunne threatens to close the bar, which upsets Martina, who then changes her tone by suggesting that she can show Dunne some fun. But only when Shay’s looking away.
Yeah, Dunne tries to resist it and falls into Martina’s flap trap… which Shay accidentally breaks up out of jealousy. Santos Jr. suffers the same fate as Martina sucks in both members of the Anti-Fun Police before using the trap to its full effect. Shay proves to be more of a liability than a help, as he stops Martina’s Bronco busters and gets his team into trouble before saving Martina from a tombstone.
He’s a jealous kid, eh?
Shay’s night gets even worse when he fails to catch what looked like a lipstick, and he walks away as the OJMO comes to try his move. Yeah, it didn’t work. Shay’s back with a drink, but he doesn’t suffer the same fate as Kurtis Chapman as Davis and Big T hold each others’ partners hostage… something that’s clearly too much fun for Santos.
The Big Lads go for each other next with clubbering clotheslines, but it doesn’t last as the Anti-Fun Police take over on the OJMO, all whilst Martina heckled from the floor. Eventually OJMO fought back with a dropkick out of the corner, tagging in Fletcher for a flying comeback, before Dunne gets obliterated by a pair of Aussies.
Finally Shay tags in, somersaulting into a ‘cutter on Kyle, before poking the Aussie bear known as Dunkzilla. He then makes up for earlier, helping Martina into a Bronco buster, and when Dunkzilla returns, she’s still somehow able to take him off his feet… only for Big T to end the party.
We’re quickly back to the big lads though, with T getting a leg lariat into the corner, before deciding to just slam Santos as he tried his “freeze” shtick. When it came to dives… nothing worked better than press slamming OJMO, and when it comes to taking down big men,a kick in the balls does it best. Just ask Martina.
Our mandated dive series ends with a flying bean bag, as Santos pulls off a picturesque tope, as a rather hectic series broke out, with Shay and Martina hitting Stunners, before OJMO flattened them with boots. Kyle nearly gives himself a hernia trying to powerbomb Big T, and of course, Davis decides to just send T’s partner flying with a one-handed powerbomb, before T goes up for an assisted cutter – so this match must continue… but not for much longer as an even more impressive move finishes: the Fidget Spinner to Santos! Well, that was a bit tasty, eh? If you’re one of those who get fraught over tag team rules, you’ll hate this, but this was just what you’d expect out of a multi-way tag. ***½
Omari vs. Eddie Dennis
The “Omari gets about” tour continues with his Riptide debut, against another big lad. One who’s got a bit more experience, which he perhaps shows off a little too much in the opening spell, declaring himself “a wrestling wizard… but lazier”.
Omari edges his way into it, but it’s more of a war of attrition rather than a give-and-take battle, with Omari sending Eddie outside with a dropkick for the inevitable… missed dropkick to the floor?! Stepping aside: now that’s a veteran move! A swinging side slam nearly ends this early, as the pair start dishing out strikes as if they were going out of fashion.
An overhead kick in the corner from Omari takes Eddie back outside, and this time his dive connects, only for his inexperience to show once again as he takes too long climbing the ropes, giving Eddie the chance to hit a crucifix bomb and a bucklebomb en route to a near-fall. We’re back to the forearms, but Omari switches it up with some kicks to the head and a Finlay roll, with a springboard moonsault out of the corner almost getting him the win, before counters to counters from the O-Zone just left Omari rocked again.
One high-angle Next Stop Driver later, and Eddie got the win. An impressive outing here, with Omari showing his chops, whilst ultimately losing out based on experience. Dare I say it, almost a Japanese-like style of match between two similar folks at different stages of their career? ***
Jack Sexsmith vs. Cara Noir
It’s fair to say that Cara Noir isn’t the most unusual thing Jack’s seen. It all overwhelmed Jack… but it was fairly standard for Noir, who just pelts him with a forearm to the head. As you do.
Noir counters out of a Pearl Neckbreaker and hits one of his own after Jack tried to fight back into it… and now Noir disrobes and chokes Jack with part of his ring gear. On the flipside, it gave the Brighton crowd another eyeful of his rear end. Maybe that’s his Riptide gimmick? Or is it being a magician, pulling a long black bit of fabric out of his trunks to choke Sexsmith with? Yup. All normal here.
Cara Noir pulls something else out of his jockstrap… lipstick? Yup. Still normal. Jack fights back again after Cara painted himself up, but a dropkick puts Sexsmith down as Cara decides to creep onto him for a spot of licking. Yep, Jack Hulks up from that, decapitating Noir with a superkick before handing out a bare-arsed stink face. Sexsmith tries to take over with kicks before hitting some Sliced Bread, as Brighton gets another sight of Mr Cocko! He’s quickly avoided as Noir bursts back with a snapping German suplex and an over-the-knee brainbuster, but we know Jack – he’s come back from worse, and indeed, he kicked out at two.
Noir picks up Jack’s limp body for a foxtrot and a kiss. Come on, that just fires him up, like earlier, with the LGBDT and BDSM putting Cara down for the win. Yep, that the Big Double Stompy Move… and yay, we get the Divinyls again! Entertaining as hell, and no, I’m not going to say “they only did this because Brighton”, but the town sure as hell was more receptive to it than most other places. ***¼
Will we get Spike Trivet again? Actually, yes! They fake out the “we’re going to the next match” after showing the result graphic, and Trivet hits the ring to attack Jack from behind. Spike’s got Cocko, but Jack’s got different back-up, this time in the form of Damon Moser… or has he? Moser turns around and lays out Jack with a right hand!
Trivet tells Sexsmith that “that knee” (Moser’s knee trembler) was the worst thing he’d had in his career… so he bought it, and held Jack so he could taste it too. He gets the Birthright too, and after having Moser Pillman-ize an Ugg-less ankle, that’s another chapter in the ongoing Trivet/Sexsmith feud written. It’s simple stuff, but I’m loving this. The crowd are hating the rat-boy and his ginger Virgil…
See, Britwres CAN do show-to-show storylines without being over the top about it!
First To Two Falls Tables Match: Keith Lee vs. Matt Riddle vs. Jimmy Havoc
Okay, this might be a little overdone – it’s “put the other two guys through a table”, so I guess someone bought a job lot of furniture! The stipulation confused Jimmy too, but I doubt he was alone…
— LariatHoHoHo!! 🎅 (@MrLARIATO) November 25, 2017
After the referee filled in the blanks, Jimmy grabs another table and gets beaten up by Lee and Riddle for a spell. All the forearms! The fightback starts as Riddle gets his foot stomped on, but we end up with Havoc on a table, with Lee and Riddle arguing over who’d put him through it. He’s spared!
As opposed to Matt and Keith’s chests, which most decidedly, were not!
Riddle and Havoc work together on Keith Lee with kicks, but he quickly swats them down with a two-handed chop, only to get put through a table, courtesy of a 3D! They both get that fall, so that’s the conundrum of “how do two guys put Keith Lee through a table” – by helping each other out!
After biting Riddle’s foot, Havoc decides to up the ante by getting a sheet of paper… yep, it’s paper cuts to the tootsies! Jimmy almost wins when he looked to dive onto Riddle to put him through a table, but Keith Lee catches him in a tender embrace, before powerbombing Jimmy onto Riddle. Note, I didn’t say through the table – we’re in Botchamania territory here folks! Where’s James Hetfield and the riff…
Lee tries to hurl Riddle through the same table that was propped against the apron, but all it does is tear the canvas. Wash, rinse, repeat, inside the ring, before Keith cuts a promo against the furniture. All I can hear is “I am the table (dun-dunn!)”…
A Spirit Bomb finally cracks the table, the next table smash wins, and Keith Lee’s got his eyes set on Jimmy Havoc. But first, we need more wood, and although Riddle saves Havoc from a Spirit Bomb, he leaves himself open as he’s focussed on beating down Lee in the corner. Riddle playing to the crowd is a downfall, as a two-handed chop rocks him, and now we have another table that won’t co-operate, this time falling flat as they tease a superplex though it…
Havoc makes the save to *that*, but gets laid onto the table as Lee has designs on a moonsault to win it, but Jimmy’s not stupid. He gets off and pulls away the table, then heads for Riddle who’s still on the top rope, but a top rope ‘rana’s blocked and turned into a powerbomb a Riddle snatches the win! Memorable, but perhaps not all for the right reasons, this was a main event that certainly will linger around for a long while! ***
Four shows in, and Riptide have found their niche. Much like with the likes of ATTACK!, you’re probably not going to find any “match of the year” candidates on each of their shows… but what you are finding here is something different. Something fun. Something that’s so sorely needed on a scene that can quickly be slated for having the same faces, in the same matches, with the same results.
Another solid thumbs up, with Point Break being perhaps their best show to date (that you can buy on their Pivotshare!)