With no return to York Hall until April, Rev Pro returned to one of their original stomping grounds for a show featuring the former Pentagon Jr.

Pentagon, going under the moniker Penta el Zero M this week (or at least until AAA try and sue him), was facing Pete Dunne in the main event – a match which was meant to be happening twice in 24 hours, before Dunne pulled out of his PCW booking over the whole Kris Travis tournament controversy.

There’s no introductions or anything, so we’re straight into really quiet action. Yep, the opening video’s volume doesn’t match what the live mics had, but we do get to hear Andy Quildan and Andy Simmons on commentary. We also have Steve Lynskey on ring announcing, adding to the revolving door of voices in the company.

Marty Scurll vs. Ryan Smile
Obviously, Scurll’s ROH TV title isn’t on the line here, and he starts by taking down Smile… who pops back up and takes him into the corner. Scurll replies by taking Ryan into the corner for some chops, before he counters a wristlock with a headlock takedown and they square off yet again.

I can’t tell whether this is a quiet crowd or just because of the low volume, but this is already feeling like that EVOLVE show in Joppa from the same weekend!

Smile comes back with a leapfrog and a dropkick, before a series of armdrags and another dropkick took Scurll to the outside. Marty crawls under the ring to avoid a dive, but he emerges out the other side of the ring and clocks Smile from behind. Ryan takes an apron superkick, before Scurll chops him against the apron as they return to the ring, where a pendulum backbreaker almost sends Smile onto his neck.

Some hooking to the nose assists Scurll with a surfboard stretch, eventually resulting in a knee stomp as Scurll plays to the crowd some more. A grounded chinlock ends with Smile fighting out of it, before Smile eventually lands a bicycle kick to take Scurll into the corner. He gets backdropped onto the apron, but recovers with an enziguiri and a missile dropkick, before Smile gets a two-count out of a Blue Thunder Driver. Scurll headbutts Smile then reverses a brainbuster as a superkick gets another two-count. The “Just Kidding” knocks down Smile, who pops up with a superkick of his own, only to get folded inside out by a lariat. Ryan rebounds again with a brainbuster, but Scurll turns things around by slamming Smile into the ropes in a spot that – elsewhere – would have gotten Rick Martel references.

From there, Scurll signals for the chicken wing, but an elbow cuts that off… Smile tries a springboard cutter and gets caught, with a finger snap debilitating Smile briefly. More back and forth ends with Scurll getting some knees up to block a frog splash, before getting a two-count out of a piledriver. He follows up with a chicken wing, and that’s all folks. Perfectly fine wrestling, but with the crowd sound so low, it just felt mechanical and soulless. Perhaps those were buoyed by the Tivoli crowd, their OTT matches were much better than this ***

Dave Mastiff vs. Trent Seven
No entrance video for Mastiff raises an eyebrow – particularly since this storyline was started before Rev Pro did their whole overhaul of music and videos.

The crowd noise is a little louder, as we can actually hear people appealing for Mastiff to “shake his hand” when Trent offers a handshake, and we eventually get that handshake… as Mastiff clocks Trent from behind to start with a cheapshot. They quickly spill to the outside, where Mastiff lays into Trent with some forearms. Seven tries to make a comeback, but he accidentally chops the ringpost… then moves away so Mastiff can do the same. They end up in the crowd as Mastiff whipped him over the guard railings, but again the tables turn as Seven gets the crowd to hold Mastiff back as he invites some kids to chop big Dave. Trent’s like a regular pied piper…

They head back into the ring, after Mastiff dumped Seven on the apron with a back suplex, but Mastiff spends time jawing to the crowd, so Trent decides to join him back on the outside with a tope. Mastiff tries to go up top for a superplex, which Trent teases reversing with a superplex to the floor, but in the end it’s Dave’s superplex which comes off, sending Trent down hard into the ring.

Seven gets up relatively quickly as the pair exchange forearms, ending with Mastiff going for a Fireman’s carry, only for that to be countered with a Samoan driver from Trent. That’s only good for a near-fall, so Trent goes for a piledriver, before deciding on a spinning backfist and a Rainmaker. Again, that’s only good for a two-count, so we go to the overhand cricket chop in the corner, but Mastiff sidesteps a third one and counters with a German suplex.

Mastiff takes Trent into the corner for another superplex, but Trent headbutts out and tries for a sunset flip… he slips, but pulls himself back up and powerbombs Mastiff out of the corner for another near-fall. The tables turn again with a short-arm clothesline getting Dave another two-count, before he blasts Seven with a cannonball in the corner, as the kick-out from the cover gets turned into a deep Boston crab that forces a submission. This was slow at times, but decent. It feels weird to have a blow-off like this at such a throwaway event… **½

Going into the next match, the Lords had an entrance video, which is a nice change from the usual block text templates that they’ve been shifting to. Rishi Ghosh comes out first by himself, and cuts a promo on the fans, saying that they should be ashamed of the grief they give the Legion of Lords.

Apparently since their match against Ryback last October, Grey’s been acting weird. This leads to a separate introduction for Grey, whose entrance video is largely shots of him looking like a zombie. Ghosh goes to cheer up Grey, by bringing out the “two-on-one survivor’s cup” that they gave themselves… but that just upsets Gideon more because this isn’t going to be a two-on-one match. Some confetti cannons finally get the job done, so we can finally get their opponents.

The Legion of Lords (Gideon Grey & Rishi Ghosh) vs. Colt Cabana & Hornswoggle
Colt came out to his heel music, which got him some heat as Andy Quildan admitted to the flub. Hornswoggle (announced as such) gets his old WWE music and entrance video for whatever reason…

The crowd instantly recognised Hornswoggle, who tried to start the match off as the two Andys recapped Colt Cabana’s feud with Gideon Grey a few years back – a feud that led to Colt being banished from Rev Pro for a while. Grey and Swoggle start us off, with the former yelling at Hornswoggle to “properly wrestle”. Instead, Hornswoggle just bites Gideon in the hand, then in the arse, before Colt does the same to Rishi Ghosh. Colt chases after Chris Roberts, but the game of cat and mouse ends with the Legion taking Hornswoggle “hostage”.

All we need are the comic book sound effects and we’re done!

Ghosh demanded that Colt lay down for Gideon – or Hornswoggle would get it. The crowd boo as Colt lays down, but he kicks out at two then catches Gideon as a hostage as we get a stand-off – with Chris Roberts playing the world’s worst negotiator. The comedy spots continue as Ghosh tries to cane Swoggle, but accidentally drills Grey down low, as the Lord take some canes to the groin too.

Swoggle trips Ghosh and hits some sit-down splashes before grabbing Rishi by the nipples. Colt tags in to keep the nipple abuse alive. Grey tags in and screams off with Colt as his nipples are tweaked, ending with a Superman dive as Colt got a near-fall. Ghosh trips Hornswoggle on the apron as he readied himself for a tag, and that let the Lords take over, laying into Colt with clubbing forearms, before Gideon lands a double axehandle.

Colt comes back with a slap to Gideon, then dives to tag in Hornswoggle, who’s easily swiped down. A punch from ‘swoggle and a German suplex takes down Grey for a near-fall, before the Lords take high/low Dusty punches, with Rishi taking them below the belt. They end up DDT’ing each other, as Colt lands the flying A-hole to Grey, before a big splash from Colt and a Tadpole Splash from ‘swoggle ends it all. Good as a comedy match, but I can see why people wouldn’t like this marmite outing. **

Rob Lias vs. Dan Magee
This match was borne out the Cockpit shows, where Lias tried to cheat to help Magee win a match against Zack Gibson… but Magee’s refusal to accept it created an issue between the pair.

Lias tries for a handshake, before a suckerpunch is blocked as these two start with strikes. Blurry Rev Pro camera returns as Magee scores with some hiptosses, Magee’s taken into the corner, where there’s not a clean break, but Dan comes back with running clothesline and a suplex for a near-fall.

The pair end up on the apron, trading forearms, before Lias scores a leg sweep to send Magee face-first onto the apron. For some reason that sparks a chant of “lets go black trunks”… to BOTH men who wear black trunks. A pendulum backbreaker gets Lias a near-fall, before he knocks Magee off the top rope to the floor as Lias capitalised on Chris Roberts going to the outside by removing one of the turnbuckles.

Back inside, Lias goes to drop Magee with the Snake Eyes on the exposed corner, before Magee teases it… and slams Lias instead. Chris Roberts goes to replace the turnbuckle, and shockingly Lias doesn’t cheat with the referee distracted, as Magee goes for a single-leg crab. Lias grabs the bottom rope to break that, and comes back with a couple of low dropkicks for a near-fall. Lias keeps up the pressure with a Fireman’s carry into the corner, then a uranage for a near-fall. A series of knees to a cornered Magee keep Lias on top, as he then hits what was meant to be a double stomp out of the corner for a near-fall. Magee comes back with a Side Effect, knocking both men down, as he scores a two-count in front of an increasingly disinterested crowd.

Magee scores a front suplex and a legdrop for another two-count, before Lias hits a back stabber and a Last Chancery, but that’s broken via the bottom ropes. There’s an awkward spot as Magee is sent into the corner, then puts on the breaks before eventually getting a crossbody, then an enziguiri for another near-fall. More back and forth ends with a Slingblade from Magee, but he can’t capitalise as Lias rolls to the outside… so Magee flies with a springboard crossbody to the floor. Another crossbody gets Magee a two-count in the ring, before they go to a rushed ending sequence as Lias exposes the turnbuckle pad once more. He throws a hoodie in Magee’s face, then drops his foe on the exposed steel, before scoring a Codebreaker for the win. Decent effort, but way too long for these guys, and the crowd just did not care. **¼

The Rev Pro Contenders have largely been kept in opening match or competitive squashes. Those matches were usually brief and entertaining… so of course, we get a long match that very few of the paying audience in the building cared for. Having a storyline doesn’t automatically mean that a match needs to go long, nor does it automatically mean that people are invested in it.

Spirit Squad (Mikey & Kenny) vs. Charlie Sterling & Joel Redman
This isn’t for Sterling and Redman’s titles… the Spirit Squad come out to some heavily pixellated version of their old WWE titantron. Kenny breaks into some heel stuff calling the fans smelly. Basic, but I guess it works in defining them as heels.

Mikey and Kenny start by stretching… so Joel Redman outdoes them with some one-handed push-ups. Charlie Sterling out-does Mikey’s jumping toe-touches, and you can probably guess, this isn’t the crowd for a technical masterpiece. Still, at least the tag champions have remembered how to make tags! We start with Redman stomping on Kenny, then landing a hiptoss, as the champions focus on the taller Kenny in the opening stages. Kenny powers out, but misses an elbow drop, and we’re back to where we started… Redman finally gets charged into the corner as Mikey tags in, then grounds Redman with a sleeperhold. Sterling tags in and takes down Mikey with a dropkick, then a tiltawhirl backbreaker, before a standing moonsault gets a near-fall.

From there, Sterling goes up top and shrugs off interference from Kenny, before crashing and burning with a Spiral Tap. That gets Mikey a near-fall as Kenny tags in properly, but all he does is grab a front facelock and take Sterling back into the corner as Mikey tags in to spell out his own name. With stomps. Sterling hits an enziguiri to end that spelling bee, but Kenny jumps in and hits a suplex before going back to the chinlock. Mikey tags back in as Sterling hit a sunset flip on Kenny, before Sterling almost nicked things with a sunset flip. The Squad look to hit an assisted splash off the top rope, but that misses as Sterling finally tags out.

Redman clears house with clotheslines, before a spinebuster and a powerslam got the champions back on top. Kenny pushes away from the slam/neckbreaker combo, as the Spirit Squad looked to end things with a clothesline-version of the Total Elimination… however, they go to give Sterling a double suplex, which goes awry as both men get knocked down before Sterling gets the Spiral Tap for the win. That was a bit… weird. Nothing faulting the effort, but this was far from impressive on either end. *¾

Pete Dunne vs. Penta el Zero M
There’s quite a few fans of Penta in the crowd, but there’s also a sizable number who want to cheer for Dunne too.

Dunne takes Penta to the corner at the bell, then grabs a headlock to wear down the Lucha Underground star, who then pushes free to grab a headlock himself. They exchange armdrags, before a ‘rana sees Dunne pop straight back up and slap Penta to the mat. Penta stomps on Dunne as he was expecting a leapover, but the Bruiserweight came back with some biting… and a Pedigree! Because WWE.

Penta kicks out at two from that, so Dunne takes his time as he waits for the luchador to get to his knees… then kicks him back down. Dunne goes to the crowd to mock them, which just allows Penta to recover somewhat, only for Dunne to land a forearm smash as he retained control. A double armbar with joint manipulation follows, as does some more biting and finally a knee-stomp.

The comeback starts with a series of Slingblades from Penta, before Dunne lands a forearm to prevent a tope. Dunne drags Penta to the outside, where he grinds his head into the barriers, before the masked man comes back with a superkick, as he then threw Dunne into the ringpost. The attacks continue as Penta kicked away at Dunne’s leg in the ring, following up with a back cracker out of the corner for a near-fall as the balance threatened to shift. Dunne comes back with a snap German suplex, then the X-plex release suplex for a near-fall. A double stomp off the top gets a similar result, but Dunne takes too much time and falls into a DDT, before a Code Red almost snatches the win. Peter pops up with more forearms, headbutts and enziguiries as Penta went down… before he ran into a superkick as both men started to lay into each other one more.

Dunne’s latest enziguiri knocks down Penta, before he followed up with a leaping Destroyer – Adam Cole’s Panama Sunrise – only to get a Destroyer in return from Penta! The Fear Factor (package piledriver) is blocked as Dunne grabbed onto the referee… that creates a distraction that lets Dunne kick Penta low then follow up with a tombstone for a two-count. Another referee distraction sets up Dunne for the Bitter End, but Penta counters it into a DDT then gets the surprise win with the Pentagon Driver (half-nelson driver). A match that was good, albeit surprisingly short, which improved as it went on – and easily the best thing on this show. ***¾

This was a weird show to watch – unless you were deeply invested in the Rev Pro storylines, most of which haven’t graced the big shows, this would be a show you’d barely even acknowledge.  That being said, to “hardcore” fans, the main event of Dunne vs. Penta will have been what dragged you to the show, and it was worth watching just for that…

As for the rest of the card, I’m afraid it’s back to the usual criticisms of Rev Pro trying to be all things to all men. You’ve got the York Hall “A” shows, the Cockpit “A-/B+” shows, and then outings like these cards in Portsmouth, where you’ll find guys who usually wouldn’t get a spot on the card, or even the time on the “higher calibre” of shows.

If you’re a completionist, then watch this, otherwise, just skip to the main event and save your time.