It’s been too long since I saw a British show live. Not counting WWE or TNA shows, it’s been almost nine years since my last show… Sunday afternoon saw that run come to an end, after I swapped nine British pounds for a standing ticket at PROGRESS Wrestling’s ENDVR 15 show.
Headlined by the PROGRESS debut of Leva Bates (better known in the mainstream as “Blue Pants” from NXT – a name imaginatively coined by the Full Sail University crowd when she appeared as a no-name jobber wearing, yup, blue trousers), the ENDVR (pronounced Endeavour) events are typically a breeding ground for up and coming talent, a bit like a developmental show, if you prefer.
The Garage in Islington is a rather compact – nay, intimate – venue, typically used for gigs, with the likes of Killswitch Engage, My Chemical Romance, Feeder, Cypress Hill and Radiohead all having performed here. When setup with a wrestling ring, there’s room for a few hundred seats whilst the standing room tickets got you as good a view as you could find. Or if you got in early enough, a spot behind the sound booth kneeling on some padded cubes. It made for a suitably loud atmosphere – which had its pros and its cons, it has to be said, but more of that to follow.
Opening with a singles match, we had Paul Robinson overcoming the “Ginger Jesus” Mike Bird. For anyone who’s unfamiliar with Progress, all I can say is that “it’s not for kids”, particularly when the crowd are just feet away from a well stocked bar.
Likewise in the second match, a tag team bout featuring the debuting team of DND – Cieran Donnelly and Danny Duggan – taking on Jack Sexsmith and his… erm… Gimp. There’s no words to describe what happened here (at least, in a way that won’t flag up this site to no end of internet filters!). Jack Sexsmith is becoming something of a cult favourite on the British scene, and his slogan of “Sexually Frivolous, Morally Ambiguous” should sum it up. And if you didn’t get the gimmick, him coming out spraying whipped cream into fans’ mouths, whilst riding someone in the aforementioned black leather full body suit (and mask), then you’d have gotten it before the opening bell. All we were missing was a safe word…
DND were hated from the start, since the south Londoners decided to call the venue “the Garage” (as the Americans pronounce it)… The heels took the win here, despite Sexsmith whipping out a second gimp from under the ring, and a model approximating Hulk Hogan’s appendage. Good, not-exactly-clean comedy fun, and the match was pretty good as well. As good a character as Sexsmith is, it has its obvious limitations for the mainstream – after all, a finishing move spoofing “Mr Socko”, using a condom instead of a sock would likely get some companies in very hot water. But hey, it works to this audience, so who can complain? (Answer: not me!)
A brief women’s match came third as Elizabeth beat Bea Priestley – this was solely to continue an ongoing storyline. Elizabeth, acting as Jinny’s “personal assistant”, appears to be in the midst of a feud where she needs to win matches to gain back her freedom. Or at least, that’s what I took out of it after she counted up her number of wins. The first half of the show ended with a six-man tag, as TK Cooper, Darrell Allen and Earl Black Jr teamed up in a losing effort against Damon Moser and “Sweet Jesus” – Chuck Mambo and “Pastor” William Eaver. Another fun match, and the first time that any of the action spilled into the crowd, particularly with Mambo hitting a flip dive into the crowd from the top rope.
Unfortunately, the second half wasn’t quite as fun-packed as the first. Coming out of intermission, we had “Fantastic” David Francisco take on “Wild Boar” Mike Hitchman (who looks a lot like a ginger/Welsh Sami Callihan) in a match that seemed to feature a beta version of Tyler Breeze, and the reincarnation of Larry Zbyszko. Seriously, so much stalling, it wasn’t even funny… nor was the guy who constantly shouted “Dave! Dave! Dave!” throughout the match. This too served as a way to extend a storyline, when Paul Robinson came out with a steel chair, and blatantly whacked Francisco in the head with it, giving the Portuguese model-wannabe a DQ win. Hitchman and Robinson had a pullapart afterwards, leading to the announcement of a chain match between the two at the next ENDVR event in May…
Our semi-final was a nondescript “Wasteman Challenge” featuring Roy Johnson. This ended up as a match against Kyle Ashmore, a man who hadn’t tasted singles victory in PROGRESS since last August, and his last time out saw him eliminated from the Natural PROGRESSion tournament. Johnson got the win, but the post-match saw Ashmore turn heel, blaming the PROGRESS fans as their support (in his mind) counted for nought.
Before I recap the main event, it’s worth noting that the fans of PROGRESS make up a lot of the atmosphere – for better and for worse. The fervent following makes it easy for babyfaces (who are good) to get over, and give the heels something to play off of – it also is an easy crutch for those turning heel, particularly if they’ve been treading water in terms of their current character. Problem is, when the fans are constantly a part of the show, you can get the “Orlando Effect”, as we’ve seen with NXT and TNA’s fan bases, when fans are determined to become the show, rather than just watch it. The Francisco/Hitchman match was a good example of the crowd distracting from the match, as was the drunken Tottenham Hotspur football fan who thought it’d be a good idea to shout pro-Spurs chants in a venue half a mile from the home stadium of Arsenal (one of Spurs’ main rivals, for those not familiar with English football)… kudos to the team for removing him before it had a chance to get ugly (not that it’ll make the streaming release!).
And so onto the main event, and perhaps the biggest draw of the evening – the main event of Leva Bates taking on Jinny. Completely shunning the Blue Pants moniker for the final match of her European sojourn, Bates came out in Star Wars cosplay, and had what I could best describe as a basic match, with very little in the way of “moves”. Bates kept most of her moveset restricted to lariats, forearms, kicks and the like. The ongoing storyline with Jinny/Elizabeth continued as a ref bump set up a spot where Jinny demanded that Elizabeth use some hairspray to debilitate Bates; only for Elizabeth to refuse. Jinny still won, albeit in a way that saw Bates take a nasty landing… but was still able to get up for the post-match spot where she gave Jinny a Pepsi Plunge to close out the evening.
At £9 for a standing ticket, PROGRESS’ ENDVR show was definitely worth every penny – I’ll definitely be back in May for the next round – featuring a chain match,no less – and with any luck, a full-fat PROGRESS show too. Now, if only I had the time to make use of my Demand-Progress subscription. If you’re anywhere near London and can a) get to the venue and b) get a ticket, I strongly urge you to give PROGRESS a try if you haven’t already. Unless you’re easily offended by swearing…