The start of PROGRESS’ Coast to Coast tour saw them hit Philadelphia and cross off a bucket list item: do a show at the former ECW Arena.
We open inside the former ECW Arena, now branded as the 2300 Arena, but let’s be honest, nobody in wrestling calls it that. Jim Smallman’s pre-show banter revolved around that, filmed not-so-covertly on a mobile phone by Glen Joseph, claiming that PROGRESS wouldn’t exist had he not fallen back into wrestling courtesy of ECW. Glen was on commentary for this show with Dahlia Black, and given the nudge nudge, wink wink emphasis they put on saying where they were, I’m almost inclined to think this show had its commentary track lost, just like in New Orleans. Much like the rest of the company’s US shows, there’s little-to-no PROGRESS branding here – save for the video screens, there’s no logos or anything on show. Plain black apron’d ring, a red canvas, black turnbuckles… and weirdly, a WWN banner.
Mark Haskins vs. Flash Morgan Webster
We start with a battle of former team mates – but only Haskins was able to get on the board for the Three and In series since Webster’s still in the Thunderbastard match.
Once my ear’s blasted out by ring-bell-dot-MP3, we have Flash jump starting the match, taking Haskins outside for a dive before the favour was returned. Webster’s poking the proverbial bear that was Vicki Haskins throughout the match, which meant he almost made this a handicap match with his split-focus…
Webster’s all over Haskins, but that offence ended when Haskins lands a leg lariat before unloading with kicks, before punching out Webster. A Special Brew Flip out of desperation sees Flash land in an armbar, but he gets to the ropes and tries to fight back, only to miss a corkscrew out of the corner, allowing Haskins to pick up where he left off, almost winning with the death valley driver. In the end though, Webster steals the win with a low blow, after Vicki had inadvertently distracted the referee, who returned to count the pin from a small package. This was alright, but it felt like the first chapter in a feud more than anything else. ***¼
Quick point: don’t make it obvious there’s a script… and definitely don’t re-read the same line twice in a row!
Natalia Markova, Solo Darling & Jinny vs. Ashley Vox, Jordynne Grace & Toni Storm
Women’s trios action means we’ve a lot of PROGRESS debuts here. Natalia Markova’s music seems to be more “US patriot” than “Russian heel” that she plays, but we’ll go with it.
It’s Toni and Jinny who start us off, but of course they don’t touch as Jinny brings Solo Darling in as we quickly cycle through both teams. Vox uses a fish hook to throw Solo across the ring, before Jordynne Grace came in and looked to make light work of things, slamming Solo before putting Vox and Grace on top of her with slams for an eventual two-count. Forearms from Jordynne lead to her getting dragged outside by Jinny and Markova, with some particularly vicious stuff from Jinny by the railings… but back in the ring, Grace has to endure a pair of head kicks and a German suplex from Markova.
A Texas Cloverleaf from Darling’s easily powered out of by Grace, before Jinny continued the beating, sending her into the middle turnbuckles for just a one-count… but that just built up to the powerful comeback as Grace suplexed Markova and Jinny at the same time, before Toni Storm tags in to unload with German suplexes and hip attacks. There’s a monstrous pounce from Grace to shove Solo Darling out of the ring, where she’s met with a tope from Storm… then some by Vox and Darling as the turnaround looked to be complete.
Toni finally gets her hands on Jinny, and looks for the Strong Zero, eventually landing it… but Jinny rolls to the outside as we get a Parade of Moves, ending with Jinny spiking Jordynne with a DDT, before Jinny’s ripcord upkick ends up being enough to put away Ashley Vox. A brisk trios match, but with the later tour shows eventually leading to the creation of another title challenger, they sure did put a spotlight on Jordynne Grace here. As they should. ***
Austin Theory vs. Mark Andrews
This was part of a “pick your poison” series of matches to build up the Eddie Dennis/Mark Andrews match that’d eventually happen at Wembley. Austin Theory’s back to having just random words as nicknames… which EVOLVE dropped for a reason.
Theory tries to ground Andrews early as commentary explained some of those nicknames, before a series of armdrags frustrated the FIP champion briefly. Shrugging that off, Theory takes down Andrews for a slingshot stomp, then a suplex as his offence came to a crashing halt when Andrews got his knees up to block a standing moonsault.
Andrews flies about as he edged back into the match, only to end up getting caught in a rack bomb by Theory for a two-count as the Welshman’s game was used against him. The Stundog Millionaire catches Theory off guard though, before the referee’s used as a human shield to give Theory a chance to hit a roll-through into a blockbuster. A DDT from Andrews stops that, sending Theory outside for a tope, before the shooting star press back in the ring puts away All Day, Limit Breaking, etc etc Theory. A solid outing, with Theory playing his part well… but in the end the PROGRESS coin for Three and In went to Mark Andrews here. ***
I’m not sure what’s causing it, but it seems we’ve traded off “having commentary we can always hear” with the arena track spiking at times.
PROGRESS World Tag Team Championship / Thunderbastard Tag Team Series: CCK (Chris Brookes & Kid Lykos) vs. Grizzled Young Veterans (James Drake & Zack Gibson) (c)
We’re not going to try and update the Thunderbastard standings, since I don’t want my brain to explode.
Gibson gets his promo, in which he mentions Lykos getting injured last time he was in the ring with Gibson and Drake. That would be a little prophetic… Lykos started out against Drake, taking him down with a leg lariat before bringing in Brookes, who didn’t quite go so well as Zack Gibson came in and worked over his arm. Some quick tags between the challengers helped turn things around momentarily, only for Drake and Gibson to come in and work over Lykos’ healed shoulder.
There’s a shot taken at the crowd for not quite getting their chants right, as Lykos continued to get worn down with a chinlock in the ring… then a backbreaker/knee drop combo on the outside. Eventually Brookes gets that tag in as he chops through Drake, who gets booted in the corner before a back senton squashed him down to the mat for a near-fall. Lykos is brought back in rather quickly, but he’s able to catch Gibson with an enziguiri and a tornado DDT, bringing Brookes back in in the process ahead of a wheelbarrow with a boot on the way down as those trademark CCK tag moves came out.
The champions had their own double team stuff, but they stuttered as a Doomsday Device was thwarted, leading to Brookes taking them outside for a tope con giro. Gibson retaliates with a tope of his own, but Brookes almost snatches the win with a roll-up as Drake became isolated… leading to him taking a flip stunner and a slingshot cutter for a near-fall. Gibson’s back to save Drake from an elevated lungblower… which Drake passes back before sweeping the leg as CCK accidentally gave themselves a German suplex.
Brookes manages to avoid a Helter Skelter, but ends up taking the tombstone gutbuster… he’s able to roll away as Drake somehow hits a 450 splash into a Lykos superkick, and with Gibson being taken outside again CCK ease ahead with a rope-hanging neckbreaker and a Code Red from Lykos, before duelling superkicks would have won the match… except Gibson pulls out the referee. A dive from Lykos puts paid to that as Drake ends up getting caught in a leg grapevine by Brookes… and with Lykos keeping Gibson at bay with an Octopus hold, Drake has no choice but to tap out! We have new champions, as CCK begin their third run with the straps. ***½
Those sound volumes were at it again – I swear the live crowd were louder than this on the clips PROGRESS posted on Twitter. You’re not meant to have the commentary’s pop drown out the crowd!
Hey, CCK get pyro for their tag title win! Someone had a few cents left in the budget…
Cue a Freedom’s Road trailer, complete with copious Twitter quotes from people who’ve watched the whole thing. We’ll get onto it soon…
Eddie Dennis vs. Pete Dunne
The other half of our “pick your poison” matches for the day, and it’s a chance for Eddie Dennis to start his path to glory at Wembley. Or maybe not.
These two have a lot of history going back to ATTACK and beyond, and the early goings see Dunne have Eddie cowering into the corner after a kick to the back. Despite hitting back with a forearm, Eddie’s right back on the defensive as Dunne charges him down with a clothesline, before a series of PKs had Eddie down on the outside.
Eddie’s able to avoid a stomp on the apron, and counters back with a swinging side slam onto the apron as he went to absorb the crowd’s feelings for him. Back in the ring, Eddie stays on top of Dunne, scoring with a slam for a near-fall before he just lashed out at the Bruiserweight. Of course Eddie ends up falling for Dunne’s usual forearm trick as Dennis is back on the defensive, falling to an X-Plex for a near-fall, before Dunne goes to an armbar.
Eddie stands up out of it and powerbombs his way free, before putting his boot through Dunne’s head. A swinging side slam’s escaped, with Dunne floating through into a powerbomb as he almost put away the former Pride of Wales, before he countered out of a Severn Bridge by going back to the armbar. Dunne tweaks at Eddie’s fingers, but it only delays the buckle bomb, before another Severn Bridge puts Dunne down for two. That seemed to instil a sense of panic and frustration into Eddie, who lands a nice superplex… but he can’t go for the cover, and that just opens the door once more. Eddie tries to close it with a German suplex, but Dunne floats out, only to run into a uranage as another Severn Bridge follows.
Dunne instantly hits back, German suplexing Eddie into the corner. There’s a switcheroo as the referee ends up in the corner avoiding a bump, which allowed Eddie to low blow and roll up Dunne for a near-fall. Pete returns the favour, with the crowd telling Eddie “you deserved that”, before an attempted escape from a Next Stop Driver just ended with Dunne taking a tombstone for another two-count! They go back to the Next Stop Driver, but Dunne again escapes and snaps the fingers of Dennis, before a Bitter End puts away the Welshman. Really good stuff here as Eddie has to wait to get on the board for Three and In… while Pete Dunne continues to build his own momentum for Wembley. ***¾
TK Cooper & Shane Strickland vs. Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate)
Shane Strickland subbed for the injured Travis Banks here, with the cameraman looking to do himself a damage courtesy of constant crash zooms on TK’s entrance. Stop that.
This was Strickland’s second match of the day, having won the EVOLVE title hours earlier… something which seemed to be a surprise on commentary. Not sure you’d forget that live…
Anyway, it’s Bate and Strickland who start us off, with Shane going to the mat with Tyler’s wrist… while Trent opted to do the Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks on the apron. Tyler manages to wrestle his way into tripping Strickland, looking to work the ankle as the slow, deliberate pace of stuff allowed the new EVOLVE champ into an easy exit. Trent’s tagged in… and he instantly whiffs on a crossbody as he just needed a lie down. Old age gets to you like that. I hear…
Tyler teases throwing the towel already, because NXT callback, as TK tries to pick up the Sandbag. Yep, that was Trent’s ECW tribute here. He’s getting a lot out of very little, as the crowd began to chant for CPR… while TK and Shane for some reason didn’t even try to go for a pin. Comedy! Trent’s lifted back to his feet, where he gets the StreetFighter dizzy stars before shrugging them off to chop the hell out of everyone as he finally switched on… leading to his hugely flippy… trust fall onto TK Cooper. We’re getting the “indys” Moustache Mountain, rather than the NXT version here, as Trent does the ball sweat/kiss cricket chop, complete with the dry heaving before TK laid him out for a near-fall.
Trent’s left in there for a while as TK and Shane wore him down with forearms… but the pair end up getting thrown outside as Tyler gets the tag back in to help turn the pace up. A kick from Strickland puts Tyler into the corner, before he’s pulled up into a Saito suplex… but Tyler somehow instantly rebounds with a standing shooting star press for a near-fall. Trent returns as Strickland ate a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for a near-fall… and then it’s his turn to take a knee as Strickland once again swung the match back around.
TK tags back in as he enjoyed a flurry, catching Trent in the head with a springboard corkscrew press for a near-fall… but a blind tag to Tyler almost helps end things as a clothesline-assisted Dragon suplex earned the former NXT tag champs a near-fall. A Parade of Moves breaks out, as a Swerve Stomp saves TK from being pinned by a Tyler Driver… before Strickland escapes an airplane spin with a push-down double stomp.
We’ve some more double-teams from TK and Strickland, as they looked for a Doomsday Swerve Stomp, which nearly puts Bate away. Trent tries to make a save, but he’s double-teamed too… before mounting his own comeback, dumping Strickland with a piledriver. A TK headbutt puts Trent down, as Cooper looked to finish Tyler off with a Spanish Fly… except Bate blocks it as Trent returns with a Burning Hammer, aided by a flying kneedrop from Bate, as Moustache Mountain get the win. A really enjoyable outing, even if it was meaningless in the wider PROGRESS arc. This is a “your mileage will vary” match though: if you’re sick of Indy Moustache Mountain, then you may struggle. ***¾
ECW Rules: Rickey Shane Page vs. Jimmy Havoc
PROGRESS continue to find new ways to not say “death match”, and given that this was building up to Havoc’s eventual match with Will Ospreay at the end of the month, this was always going to be gruesome.
Rickey Shane Page’s music isn’t quite “We Can Roll”, but we’ll go with it. By the way, for future use… there’s an E in all three of his names! We start with the two of them going for chairs… so we can start with a sit-down brawl, with elbows that would almost surely be the most laid back part of this match. A DDT from Page takes Havoc down, before a bid to send him off the apron just sees the pair end up on the outside… but not before Havoc could score with a tope/DDT!
Havoc decides to use what’s out there, throwing some chairs at Page before grabbing a beer from a fan… which he couldn’t swallow before RSP knocked it out of his mouth. Jimmy retaliates with a poke to the eye, which just kept the brawl going around ringside… allowing Page to use the staple gun that was provided to attack some dollar bills to various parts of Jimmy’s head and arms. There’s tit-for-tat reprisals from Havoc, before Page dragged out a pizza wheel… and believe me, he’s not having pineapple… he’s slicing open the King of the Goths. A cut that Jimmy, erm, staples together himself. Hey, if it works, it works!
Next up: a bag of thumb tacks. Jimmy Havoc tries to leap over them but somehow he gets caught in the corner as Page throws some chairs into him, then places him into some as we prepped for a stomp through a makeshift crash pad… but instead it’s a back senton that Page takes all of as Havoc rolled away. Ow. Taking advantage, Havoc uses a cheese grater on Page, then his own 8x10s as Page’s fingers are forcibly sliced.
Those pins come into play as Havoc forcibly pierces Page’s ears with them, before using that 8×10 to cut the tongue. It’s quickly descending into snuff film territory, as a pin’s clamped into the tongue of an bloodied-up RSP for a near-fall. Things return to normality as Page catches Havoc with a forearm before suplex throwing him into the pins… a favour that Havoc returned with a One Winged Angel of sorts. They continue to play with the drawing pins, before Jimmy sets up some wooden contraption in the corner… which he’s promptly powerbombed through for yet another two-count. Page sets up another pair of chairs back to back… but instead of drawing pins he’s got gussets as his own blood drips to the canvas… and yes, he ends up taking them after a Rainmaker sees him land in the spiky metal.
Somehow, Page kicks out at two, so Havoc uses those sheets more directly, punching one into Page’s forehead before pulling off a double stomp into the chairs. We’re still not done though, as Havoc gets a table out from under the ring, but before he can use it Page hits a chokebreaker before doing some more feng shui, putting chairs onto the table… and of course it backfires on him as Page ends up eating an insane top rope Destroyer through the table and chair contraption for the win! Another “your mileage will vary” contest, but if you’re into death matches, then this will have ticked a lot of boxes for you – as Jimmy Havoc finally gets a W in a PROGRESS deathmatch! ***
As a card, PROGRESS Philadelphia was a pretty decent start to their Coast to Coast tour – with the main talking point out of it being CCK’s tag title win, which popped the crowd and almost surely ticked off someone else’s bucket list item… it’s just a shame the dream would quickly turn sour the very next night in Boston.
A note about commentary. Yeah, you knew it was coming. This bore all the hallmarks of being recorded after the show itself… either that, or PROGRESS broke with tradition and somehow had live access to close-ups from the mobile cameras (something that Glen flat out gave away in the main event). Ah, who am I kidding? If you listen with headphones, you’ll pick up on a few less obvious tells, like echoes in a broom cupboard as Glen tries to stifle laughter. Needless to say, this style of (probably) post-produced commentary was not my cup of tea. There’s five more shows on this tour, which will eventually all appear on Demand PROGRESS, but if you’re waiting to watch them all so you can keep in line with PROGRESS canon, you may be waiting a while!