A packed Resistance Gallery came together to say farewell to Kris Wolf – complete with an absolutely bonkers line-up.
This wasn’t your usual wrestling show, particularly since most of this is non-canon.
The first three matches used wrestling as an art form, to portray parts of the life of Kris Wolf, before we got into (ahem) the meat of the evening: the final encounter between Charli Evans and Tito… and the final farewell. We opened up with something you don’t normally get on these VODs… and no, it’s not Kris’ iPhone going flying out of her shirt pocket! She introduces us to the story of Kris Wolf, and then it’s time for “rules and shit” before we break into the first act of Kris Wolf – the conception.
“Ovary Moth” Martina vs. “Spunk” Angel, “Man Cream” Di Matteo & Killer “Jizz”
Martina’s “an egg” and has “had enough babies”… problem is, she was facing three foes to her goal. I’m sure you can see where this is headed…
This was three-on-one, with the nice Easter egg hidden in there that all three of them conceivably would have been Kris Wolf when put together: wearing parts of Kris’ gear. Oh, and a mini wolf tale. “Sperm, are you ready?” is a line you’d not hear from a wrestling referee outside of adult sites.
We get going with Ovary Moth playing keep away, which led to the sperm fighting themselves until Martina got her way back in. Except she she fell back into old tricks, which proved to be just want they wanted. The “Shades of Shibata” dropkick from Kelly was a bit wormy as she swam into the corner, before a neckbreaker from Angel just stopped her in her tracks. Who knew a Twister suplex had a shout of stopping conception?
In the end, everyone has a try on the Ovary Moth as commentary threw out all of the wise cracks they could come up with, quite a few of which were audible in the crowd, before a death valley driver from “Killer Jizz” led to the triple-team pin as all three of them came together for the win. Ahem.
“Jinny Havoc” vs. Jetta
Act Two: Puberty – or “the really difficult teenage years”. Featuring “Jinny Havoc”, which seemed to confuse Jimmy Havoc on commentary. Jetta sings her usual theme music, which maybe didn’t play too well to the “goths vs. chavs” story they were looking to tell.
The story they did tell was of Jinny Havoc not having too much in her locker wrestling-wise, which led to Jinny breaking Jimmy on commentary from a rope break. Charlie Morgan pops up on commentary as Jinny headed to the bar… but she couldn’t get served because she’s a teenager. The dodgy barman serves her, but not Jetta, so she tells on her… which led to Jetta storming to her room. And a lot of door slamming. They’re eventually grounded in the ring as Father Tom told them to make up. Someone in the crowd told Tom to take away their pocket money, except Jinny had a lawyer. I wonder if his name is Jerry… The fighting resumed as Jinny dug deeper into the character… then knocked Jetta flying with a forearm and a ‘rana for barely a one-count.
Another voice from the heavens scolds both of them, but the distraction from “Jetta’s mum” was enough for Jinny Havoc to win with a Rainmaker. I have no words…
Onto act three, which leaps over a few years as Kris “battled Japan” – which commentary figured out was “age 27”. Kris jumped on commentary for this one…
“Mountain” (Viper) vs. “Tonkatsu” (Jamie Hayter)
…because who doesn’t like a good ol’ ninja story?
The Ninja had a hard time tackling the mountain, and had no luck with some chops and one-inch punches. Kicks moved the mountain a little, but a chop from the mountain proved to be like a landslide to the ninja. An avalanche crossbody nearly puts the ninja away, before a big back elbow looked to draw some ninja blood. Christ, that rocked her. In the end though, the ninja overcomes a cannonball and manages to knee down the mountain for the win.
“I’m not really sure what I’m watching,” – Charlie Morgan. Us too!
For this next match, Alex Windsor joins commentary alongside Charlie…
Charli Evans vs. Tito
“The wolf enters”… and in Charli Evans case, she tries to end a wolf.
It’s apt that Tito entered to some Duran Duran, eventually anyway, as Tito flew in from above, swandiving into Charli to start the match. I’m not going to spoil the rest of this match, but this if you weren’t a fan of a certain vintage of DDT, then you’re going to loathe this. Then again, if you’ve made it this far into the show, you’ll have been on board for everything, and likely loving this.
Aided by his handler (and referee), Tito was taken into the crowd and towards the bar, before heading back to the ring… where Charli rammed him head-first into the balcony. A face-washing boot nearly spelled the end, but Tito fought back, catching Charli with headscissors to catch her unawares.
Lucha Tito!
Tito bites away on Charli, but the ref refuses to call it because of Charli’s past attacks, at least until she made it to the ropes. Her response was to kill Tito with a powerbomb, but it’s not enough… so she goes for plunder. Tito counters a throw into a chair in the corner with a drop toe hold, before a 450 splash nearly took the win for the wolf. A hooked DDT drops Tito for a near-fall, with a huge kick-out, before Charli’s bid to, erm, take the wind out of Tito ended with her taking some headscissors off the top into drawing pins. Good LORD. From there, Charli fights free of a powerbomb to put Tito in a Boston crab, before a back-and-forth sunset flip ended with Charli holding the tights to steal the win. Well, that was a goddamned performance and a half. All the stars!
During the interval we’ve got a replay from last year’s SHE-1 match between Charli Evans and Kris Wolf…
Pro Wrestling EVE Championship: Kay Lee Ray (c) vs. Nina Samuels
Now for your “in canon” part of the night…
Kay Lee tried to keep the mood light with a game of Twister… but Nina wasn’t playing ball as a wrestling match broke out. The champion headed up top early on, but gets caught with a kick as Samuels superplexed her… only to get caught with a guillotine choke after the landing. Nina gets to the rope for safety, before she resumed choking on Kay Lee in the corner. An axe kick drops Kay Lee, ahead of a back roll into a legdrop, then some headscissors on the mat as Samuels was busting out some new stuff here. Some of the classics come out too, including the Mr. Perfect neck flip and the butterfly backbreaker, as Samuels looked to be coasting.
The champion rebounded with a DDT, and clung on for another guillotine choke, only for Nina to get free and throw Kay Lee Ray through the ropes and into the wall. Chops and elbows follow, until Kay Lee Ray lands a superkick… but after sending Nina onto the apron, she’s greeted with a corkscrew plancha back into the ring as Samuels almost regained her title.
A missile dropkick from Samuels finds its mark for a near-fall, before she went to the outside for a chair. The referee disarms her, but then has the chair kicked into her as Kay Lee went for a Gory bomb. Eventually we have a back-up ref… Kris Wolf! Except Nina was able to kick out.
Nina responds by throwing a chair at Kay Lee Ray on the top rope, before a hanging DDT off the top rope led to a conflicted count from Kris… who got to two before the champion kicked out. Cue some bullying from Samuels, who ended up getting caught with another Gory Bomb as Kay Lee Ray retained. All’s well that ends well – but “what happens next” for Nina is going to be interesting…
Post-match, Viper and Kris celebrate, before Kay Lee Ray tells us that her dream of facing Emi Sakura at WrestleQueendom was in tatters. So comes an open challenge for WrestleQueendom… which Viper answered. Yeah, it’s a match EVE did a year ago for SHE-1 qualification, but these two have been incredibly even… and don’t forget, there’s the wild card of “what’s Jamie Hayter doing” to come, as she was due a title shot for winning SHE-1…
Now’s the time for the final act of Kris Wolf’s career – a gauntlet match, with Kris facing everyone on the roster (that was here tonight) in a series of two-minute matches.
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Laura Di Matteo
We’re throwing back to the woman Kris debuted against in EVE, almost two years earlier. She’s wearing the Wolf trousers that her spitting image wore in the opener… We get going with Kris hitting Laura for being a vegan (at least, that’s one reading of it), before pulling off a lucha armdrag. Laura’s booed for pulling Kris into the corner… then for going after Kris’ tail… which earned her some fish hooking. Laura bites her way free, but we run out of time as the crowd count down… and it’s a draw!
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Erin Angel
Rematching from last year’s SHE-1, we’ve got the story of Erin and her stick for Kris… A stick that Kris instantly swung around like a maniac, sending everyone running for their lives. Erin tries to grab it back, so she just gets rolled up for the pin. Thanks for coming!
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Rhia O’Reilly
Another SHE-1 rematch, Rhia’s appearance was perhaps given away by her being in her gear, knee brace and all. Everyone’s caught out by Rhia actually being at ringside when she joined the match to sing a version of the Ballad of Chasey Lain. Which was a plea to have her butt bitten. You don’t need to ask a wolf twice, and it led to roll-up for the next win. This gauntlet’s the wrestling equivalent of those free-scoring football games that boost goal differences.
Charlie Morgan’s out next, climbing into the ring from her seat at ringside… but with her left ankle in a cast, wrestling wasn’t on the card. Instead, we had a replacement: doing her second character of the night, “Fearful” Jetta Morgan.
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. “Fearful” Jetta Morgan
Jetta passed a pride flag over to Kris – from Charlie Morgan – and she starts by throwing Kris to the outside… but she can’t quite get the nerve to do a dive. She tries to do the Charlie Morgan wall-run, can’t get much further than chopping Kris’ chest… so Wolf bites her before Jetta cowered away from a DDT. A suplex follows before we get a submission via arse bite. Whatever works!
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Rebel Kinney
Kinney had hot footed it from Battle Pro’s show on the other side of London. Dann tried to play it as her having not made it in time, but that was clearly not the case. Her part was a rematch from the first SHEVOLUTION show, except this time she gets the pride flag and a roll-up. Well, the sentiment was what counted!
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Killer Kelly
Another rematch, albeit from her tour of wXw last year, and we had Kelly being reluctant to engage… until Kris bit her. Having told Kris that she “loved her like a daughter”, here was some punishment incoming as she spanked the wolf (not a euphemism), before she had second thoughts at the death valley driver. Kris had no such qualms as a lungblower gets her the latest win.
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Viper
Going a little further back here, to Stardom’s 5 STAR Grand Prix in 2017. Kris is happy to be facing the Mountain, but was quickly on the back foot because Viper wanted to tickle her belly. After nervously accepting the petting, Kris bit at Viper before sending her flying with a monkey flip… before a crossbody led to… the belly rubs. Kris rolled her up for the pin, but got the three count just after the bell.
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Kay Lee Ray
Going back to last June for this rematch, and we start with chops before Kris got thrown outside for a tope. Wolf retaliates with a DDT on the edge of the ring, which nearly gets the win, only for Kay Lee to hit the I’m Sorry, I Love You superkick. Except that wasn’t it, as Kris countered a Gory Bomb into a Code Red… and that’s the upset! Sadly for Kris it was non-title, but Kay Lee Ray gave her the belt, and offered a shot if she ever came back.
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Martina
Is it bantz to grind on a wolf? (or indeed, yours truly?) Is the answer ever no? Martina was here to do a wrestle though, but first she swooned at the opportunity to bite Kris’ butt. Grinding happens here, before the obligatory roll-up gets a three-count… and now I’m sad we couldn’t get a longer singles match.
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Nina Samuels
No such shenanigans when Nina Samuels came out, as she booted Kris, then hit a Go To Sleep for the quick pin. There’s revenge for the “screwjob” earlier.
Luckily this wasn’t winner stays on, so…
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Jinny
Jinny was still “Jinny Havoc” as commentary mentioned that that Go To Sleep was worsened because of why Kris was retiring. Jinny didn’t want to wrestle, but rock out instead. Except her request for Slipknot was thwarted because the sound desk wasn’t ready. The crowd were though, so we get the crowd singing an acapella version of Duality.
Live… I was not expecting that! Jinny broke the singing to put a beating to Kris, but the tables turn as Kris leapt over her, then folded up Jinny with a German suplex for a near-fall. Time runs out as Jinny took Kris back into the corner… and as Jinny offered the devil’s horns, Kris just rolled her outside.
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Jamie Hayter
Jamie raced down the stairs so she could jump Kris, taking her into the corner with a snap suplex. Another suplex and some stomping keep Kris in trouble, but Wolf manages to rebound with a leaping knee, then a bulldog for a near-fall, before Hayter ran down the clock choking Kris in the ropes. She wasn’t exactly looking for a win, as she continued to stomp on Wolf after the bell.
Jinny joins in afterwards, as does the next entrant…
Gauntlet Match: Kris Wolf vs. Charli Evans
Charli doesn’t get music as we’ve a three-way beatdown on Kris, which was only delayed when Tito was flung in from the balcony. Some box breaking kicks get Kris back in it, as the match started with a 619 to Evans for a near-fall. Charli gets some help from Jamie and Jinny as I guess this gets thrown out as a DQ… before Kris got some help from a familiar face: her former Oedo Tai running buddy Act Yasukawa! Cue a lot of whisky spraying as Kris took down Jinny and Jamie with a double Sliced Bread, before forgetting it was Charli Evans she was wrestling. The match is still on, and after Tito German suplex’d Charli, a Meteora off the top from Kris Wolf gets the win to end the gauntlet!
From there, all that was left was the ceremony, as Kris invited the locker room down for the farewell. We fight through microphones as the tears began to flow in the Resistance Gallery for a video…
Cue streamers, cue the ten bell salute, and an embrace between Kris and her new wife as we fade to black… skipping Kris breaking some boxes for one last time before she crowd surfed into the night.
Live, this show was an absolute blast to watch – full of exactly the kind of wackiness you’d expect from this company, for this situation. Well, it wasn’t like we were ever going to get a sombre farewell show! The world of wrestling is a little less positive without Kris Wolf around to brighten it up, but at the same time it’s so much better for her having been in it. Whether the mooted annual “Kris Wolf Produce” shows come to pass remains to be seen… but if they do, then hopefully someone’ll have listened to Kris and cleaned that damn video screen!
- Buy Kris Wolf t-shirts at https://whatamaneuver.net/collections/kris-wolf
- …or jump on her Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/wolfinjapan/posts
- …or cross your fingers that DRKLGHT can re-release this shirt that featured prominently during the show http://www.drklght.com/product/kris-wolf