Ashton Smith and Oliver Carter get their crack at some gold, as they finally face off against Trent Seven and Tyler Bate for the NXT UK tag titles.

Quick Results
Amale pinned Xia Brookside in 6:14 (*½)
Rohan Raja pinned Danny Jones in 5:00 (**¼)
Tyler Bate & Trent Seven pinned Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter in 13:02 (***)

We’re opening with a video package for tonight’s main event, with Moustache Mountain talking themselves up ahead of their defence… and we’re back at the BT Sport studios in London for this one, as we’re still a few weeks away from crowds returning. Andy Shepherd and Nigel McGuinness are on the call…

Amale vs. Xia Brookside
We start this one with Amale grabbing a wristlock, which Brookside countered in kind.

A Northern Lights-ish suplex gets Amale free, before she charged down Brookside. A crucifix pin nearly puts away Brookside, who backed into the corner and had a temper tantrum, before she got caught with headscissors on the mat. Brookside couldn’t bridge out of them, but eventually span free only to get instantly rolled up. Amale catches a crossbody, turning it into a slam before a rolling senton and a low dropkick drew a two-count… but Brookside fights back, kicking Amale out of the corner before she choked her in the ropes. A kick to the back of Amale set up for a grounded overhead armbar, as dubbed boos filtered through.

Brookside’s eventually caught and met with a death valley driver, then some right hands before clotheslines bounced Xia off the mat. Another clothesline and a back senton lands for a near-fall, before forearms and a head kick got Brookside back in it. Briefly, at least, as she got tripped into the buckles, ahead of a face-washing kick from Amale, who then won it with the Hope Breaker. They had time, relatively speaking, but the pace felt weird. The right result, as Brookside’s back to inspecting the lights. *½

Ashton Smith and Oliver Carter are warming up backstage… as we then get a video package on how they made it to this title shot.

Earlier this week, the assistant to the regional manager, and a photo of Johnny Saint, is with the Coffeys, Sha Samuels and Noam Dar in the office. We find out that Joe Coffey gets a Heritage Cup match against Noam Dar in two weeks… while an ensuing argument sets up Mark Coffey vs. Sha Samuels down the line.

Dave Mastiff and Jack Starz are backstage being asked about their challenges when Pretty Deadly barge past them… Jack’s told to head in as the montages continue. Turns out he’s cut holes in Pretty Deadly’s shirts. Remember when Pretty Deadly were on top?

Danny Jones vs. Rohan Raja
This result may be predictable. Poor Danny.

The opening lock-up yielded little as Jones looked to roll Raja down for a one-count before things went to the corner. Raja tries a cheapshot, but got caught in a side headlock before a knee to the gut spun Raja to the mat. Eventually Raja struck back, only to get caught with a big boot as the Welshman sent him outside. Jones looked to give chase, but Raja tripped him onto the edge of the ring, then charged him into the apron for good measure. Back in the ring, Jones tries to fight back, but had his arm swatted away before a chop block took him down ahead of a low dropkick for a near-fall.

Raja trash talked Jones back to life as they trade elbows, before a big ripcord enziguiri and a Saito suplex had Danny on top. A step-up knee into the corner and an Exploder out of it nearly gets the upset, before Raja snuck back in with a back cracker. A Complete Shot follows, and that’s the win as this was a slog of a win for die Familie guy. **¼

Moustache Mountain are polishing their belts…

We then get a vignette for Symbiosis, with T-Bone and Primate snarling about how things haven’t gone their way. Eddie Dennis tries to calm them down by saying that they have to go backwards to go forwards, like an arrow.

Wacky video time of a trucker – kind of like in WCW/nWo Revenge – eating a cheeseburger, then getting out to pick something up off the road. The Swamp Monster’s here?! I don’t know, but we fade to black, and I guess this hype will continue…

Sha Samuels is backstage checking his horses as Mark Coffey wandered up… they bantered… before we cut to A-Kid pulling Charlie Dempsey aside backstage as die Familie headed back. A-Kid’s disappointed in Charlie, and I guess this is heading towards a match.

Andy Shepherd’s in the ring to host the Meiko Satomura celebration… Andy pitches to a video package of Meiko’s title reign, including an ultra-rare sighting of Killer Kelly. Meiko’s given a bunch of flowers before she thanked the no-crowd… the lights go out, and here’s a jealous Isla Dawn with a cinematic theme to interrupt. She wants to join in the celebration, if only so she can get her “final trophy” – in the form of Meiko’s title. Meiko tells Isla to ask for a title match, and I guess her three wins in a row is enough to even be in the discussion. Isla won’t ask, so she kicks Meiko in the head before choosing to leave with the flowers. They’ll rot and go stinky long before the title belt would… but then again, if she’s going to eat them like Homer Simpson and his tulips, then it’s a moot point.

Sam Gradwell’s backstage trying to get over his mohawk getting cut off last week by Kenny Williams. He’s not taking it well because he’s seeing Kenny Williams everywhere, and he threatens to so something dastardly that Kenny’ll never get over.

They recap Nathan Frazer challenging Ilja Dragunov for the NXT UK title, and of course Ilja accepts the challenge. Ilja mentioned how he had to win a battle royal to get his first shot, and even then there was a long journey to get to the title after that… and that match is next week. Here’s me hoping I can access the network in my hotel room in Germany.

Also next week, Sha Samuels vs. Mark Coffey with Gallus and Noam Dar banned from ringside… and Pretty Deadly vs. Jack Starz and Dave Mastiff.

NXT UK Tag Team Championship: Oliver Carter & Ashton Smith vs. Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate) (c)
Bate and Smith start us off, as a tie-up took Tyler into the corner with Oliver Carter quickly tagging in.

Bate escapes, but his wristlock’s kicked away by Carter, who returned with an armbar, then a wristlock, which Tyler countered before he whipped and dropkicked Carter away. Trent tags in and is assisted into a senton for a two-count, before a forearm from Carter managed to buy him time. Trent misses an overhand chop in the corner as Carter scored an armdrag amidst talk on commentary of Nigel’s retirement tour back in the day. Ashton Smith tags in but misses a leapfrog over Carter, which allowed Trent to take him down for a brother legdrop for a near-fall. Tyler’s back with a side headlock, which he tried to use to kick Smith in the head, only to get met with uppercuts as they went back and forth. Tyler’s knocked down, so Trent came in for a distraction, only for Tyler to recover… and get charged down with a shoulder tackle.

Carter hits a flip front kick to Bate, taking him to the corner, then a leaping ‘rana as Tyler tried to come off the middle rope. A scissor kick’s next for a near-fall, but Tyler manages to get back with a running shooting star press as Trent’s down and out on the floor. Carter back body drops out of a Tyler Driver, only to eat a rebound lariat… right as Trent gets back up to the corner. A dropkick from Bate knocks Smith off the apron as Tyler went for a rebound lariat… Bate’s taken outside as a tornado DDT took down Trent, ahead of a quebrada from Carter for a near-fall. Carter’s thrown outside as Smith took over, kicking away a Seven Stars lariat before Trent hit it at the second attempt.

Seven followed that up with an Emerald Flowsion, but Carter breaks up the cover, before a falling chop added another two-count for Trent. Bate tagged in and runs into a Blue Thunder Bomb from Smith for a near-fall… an assisted moonsault from Carter keeps it going, before a second crack at the Silly String-ish move was blocked by Trent. Smith watches as Carter dumps Trent with a uranage on the floor, then knocked away a deadlift German suplex effort from Tyler as he hit the top rope and flew in with a leg lariat. Carter’s back as they went for a doomsday cutter on Bate, but Trent’s able to break up the pin.

A Parade of Moves breaks out as we end up with Carter and Seven spilling to the outside. Smith’s superkick stops Tyler, but a rolling Koppo kick offered an instant reply before Bate punched out Ashton by the ropes… Smith got a foot to the rope, but Trent ran by to push it off as the ref didn’t notice, and that’s the win. This was fine, but without a crowd (or indeed, much sweetening) this felt like Just Another Title Defence. It’s a damn shame because this should have felt much more important, but it just didn’t pick up until the finishing stretch. ***

For weeks I’ve crapped over this show, but the promise of A-Kid vs. Charlie Dempsey is at least something that intrigues me, even if it’s not at the top of the card. Sadly though, there’s a LOT of running in place on this roster, and it’s going to take something pretty bold to shake things up.