We’ve got two title matches on NXT UK this week, as Moustache Mountain and Stevie Turner looked to leave London with some gold.

Quick Results
Meiko Satomura submitted Stevie Turner in 8:49 to retain the NXT UK Women’s Championship (***)
Saxon Huxley pinned Eddie Dennis in 5:46 (**¼)
Dani Luna pinned Isla Dawn in 6:43 (*½)
Sam Stoker & Lewis Howley pinned Tyler Bate & Trent Seven in 14:57 to retain the NXT UK Tag Team Championship (***½)

We’re back at the BT Sport studios on the day that NXT UK announced their sponsorship of Enfield Town FC – a team that plays six divisions below the English Premier League, but are about a mile away from the UK Performance Centre, which’d explain the pairing.

Andy Shepherd and Nigel McGuinness are on commentary as this show feels peculiarly stacked. Like they’re making up for another match being moved…

NXT UK Women’s Championship: Stevie Turner vs. Meiko Satomura (c)
Stevie called her shot – can she cause the mother of all upsets here? Satomura was accompanied to the ring by Emilia McKenzie, who’s apparently now “under her wing”…

Satomura takes things to the ropes early, throwing knees and uppercuts before a Judo-style takedown had Turner on the deck. A double underhook gives way to a suplex by Satomura, who follows with an elbow and a hammerlock, but that ends in the ropes before Turner tried to charge back. She’s quickly taken back to the ropes as Satomura goes for the wrist, as we wash, rinse and repeat. A big boot out of the ropes sees Turner land some offence, following up with more of the same ahead of a running front kick that had Satomura down to a knee. Meiko reverses a slam to hit one of her own, then an elbow drop, before Satomura rebounded out of the corner and rolled Turner into a STF… but Turner got to the ropes before the hold could be fully applied.

Kicks keep Turner in the ropes, as she powdered to the outside to save herself… Satomura follows her, but gets charged into the side of the apron as Turner laid in wait. A slap has Meiko down in the ring, with a sliding clothesline good for a two-count, ahead of some kicks and an Eye of the Hurricane out of the corner for another two-count. A straitjacket stranglehold has Satomura down, but Meiko frees herself with an overhead kick only to get caught with a misdirection kick from Turner for a two-count. Meiko followed back by countering a rebound Flatliner, landing with cartwheel knees to crack into Turner for a two-count, then a death valley driver as the momentum began to build.

It’s back to the STF for Satomura though… and that’s the sudden tap. A solid match, although you never got the feeling Meiko was going to be losing the title in the opener. ***

Backstage, Trent and Tyler are hopping on the spot and playing pattycake… as we then jump to Oliver Carter talking about the superimposed Heritage Cup. Kenny Williams has a retort, saying the Heritage Cup is about glorifying the past… they’ll meet in the first round of the contender’s tournament next week, I suppose.

Vignette time for the Rampage Brown/Joe Coffey feud. Their rubber match is next week, and it’ll be in a submission-or-KO-only match.

Saxon Huxley vs. Eddie Dennis
This was set up a few weeks ago (but really only aired last week) when Saxon interrupted an interview with Eddie Dennis…

Huxley takes things to the corner early, but breaks cleanly before taking down Eddie for an elbow drop. Eddie’s cowering in the corner, but comes back with a kick to the knee before he sidestepped a front kick in the corner as Huxley sent himself sailing to the outside. Eddie joins him on the floor with some elbows, but Huxley fought back, catching a punch before throwing Eddie back in… only for Eddie to rebound out and hit a clothesline. Back inside, a diving boot gets Eddie barely a one-count, before he got caught with a Thesz press out of nowhere.

Huxley takes it back to the corner for some face-washing boots, taking things back outside as Eddie’s dropped across the barriers for a Cactus Jack-ish elbow off the apron. That gets Saxon a two-count back in the ring, but he misses a crossbody, splashing back off the ropes as Dennis tries to nick it with a roll-up… before a slam drew another two-count. From there, a scooping reverse DDT’s countered by Huxley, who hits that crossbody in the ropes before going up top… and lands a flying clothesline too. A fireman’s carry slam is next… and Saxon Huxley gets his first win since November! **¼

They interrupt the replays because T-Bone and Primate have run out to attack Huxley, leading to an assisted Severn Bridge by Eddie, as Huxley was left laying. I guess today was snot Eddie’s day…

Pretty Deadly are doing Hindu squats backstage…

Jinny promo time. She’s rattled going into her match with Aoife Valkyrie, with the added stipulations of this being no-DQ and Joseph Conners being locked up in a cage at ringside. It’ll not be held in the air, unlike in the States. Jinny calls Aoife a “weak girl,” and that’s that.

Isla Dawn vs. Dani Luna
Last time out, Isla went into a trance – according to commentary. Will the same happen again here?

Dawn’s “magick” didn’t impress Luna, who went for takedowns, before a shoulder block took the Scotswoman down. Dawn grabs the hair to get out of a Fireman’s carry, then tripped Luna before laying in with forearms and uppercuts. Luna avoids some kicks, but gets tripped ahead of a low dropkick for a two-count, following with a Cobra clutch. Dawn tries to ripcord that into something else, but Luna escapes and hits a clothesline, then a slam, before a fallaway slam had Isla in the corner. Reversals on an Irish whip keep Dawn on the back foot, as an Exploder drew a two-count, before Dawn came back with a head kick.

A back suplex gets Dawn a two-count, before Luna rolls out of a half-and-half suplex, returning with a deadlift suplex that Dawn superkicks out of. From there, Dawn goes up top, but gets caught… she pushes down Dani and pulled a chunk of hair out of Luna’s head. Isla’s ecstatic over that, but loses sight of the match as a Fireman’s carry sit-out slam ends this as I guess Dawn’s now collecting trinkets from her opponents? Either way, this didn’t click with me at all. *½

Sunday at NXT TakeOver 36, it’s WALTER vs. Ilja Dragunov II… which leads to an airing of the Prime Target video for that match.

Next week: Joe Coffey vs. Rampage Brown in the Knockout-or-Submission match… plus Jinny vs. Aoife Valkyrie in a no-DQ/Joseph Conners-in-a-cage match.

NXT UK Tag Team Championship: Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate) vs. Pretty Deadly (Sam Stoker & Lewis Howley) (c)
Pretty Deadly have gained some Big Bully Busick moustaches, which is the sort of play that’d work on holiday camp shows.

Bate and Stoker start us off, with wristlocks from Stoker frustrating the Heritage Cup champion early on. Tyler pushes off the ropes to roll back and reverse the hold, before an arm whip spun Stoker to the mat. Trent’s in with arm wringers, but Stoker gives him a dead leg before he knocked Trent into the corner. An Irish whip’s reversed as Stoker flipped off the buckles and into a chop, while Lewis Howley tagged in to hit a leapfrog elbow on Seven. There’s a turnaround as Tyler comes in for a flip senton off of Trent for a two-count, before Howley floated over a back body drop and kicked out Tyler’s leg. A drop toe hold takes Stoker into Lewis’ Howleys, before Moustache Mountain ripped off the rip-off moustaches and sent the champions to the outside.

Returning to the ring, Stoker fought out of a side headlock, then got the tag out… Tyler doesn’t realise, and gets clotheslined as he chased Stoker on the floor. Tyler’s worked over by Stoker and Howley, who exchange frequent tags… including one after Tyler kicked Stoker away, before Bate was able to get past them to make the hot tag to Trent. A back body drop/DDT combo took down Howley for a two-count, before a pair of stalling suplexes put the challengers ahead. Howley grabs the ropes to block a Seven Stars lariat, as Stoker came in to hit a DDT of his own… then followed up with punches on the mat as Trent was forced to try and chop his way out of the corner.

Trent’s slammed by the ropes, but rolls outside to avoid Howley’s elbow drop before double clothesline back inside left both men down. Dualling tags bring us to Stoker and Bate, but it’s Tyler who pulls ahead… he caught Stoker’s leap in the corner, but missed a blind tag. Nevermind, the Exploder takes Stoker across the ring before Pretty Deadly ended up on the outside for a Bate plancha. Tyler rolls Howley back in, but leaps over him before a Koppo kick left Howley rocked for the Tyler Driver… but it’s not enough. Stoker low bridges Bate, who crashes and burns amid a rebound lariat attempt as Howley tries to nick the win with a roll-up on Trent… then tagged Stoker back in as a propelled Codebreaker nearly got the win again.

Commentary’s getting shouty, so we’re in the home stretch as Tyler low bridges Howley to the outside – causing another crash and burn – as Trent fought back, then tagged Tyler back in for a rebound lariat-assisted Dragon suplex that gets a delayed near-fall after Trent did a dive. Another Tyler Driver’s countered with a back body drop, with Bate’s knee giving out on the landing as a Giant Swing from Stoker leads to a half crab. Lewis Howley throws in the towel – pretending it was Trent who did it – and as Trent protests to the ref, Howley runs in with a belt shot to Bate before the Spilt Milk Hart Attack neckbreaker gets the win in what was a pretty good main event – just remember to hit mute on that commentary as soon as they start to get frantic! ***½

This was better than some of the recent shows, but I’ll go back to a point I feel like I’m making a lot here. Why is this still being done in empty arenas? Even if they just let fans into the studios (rather than sell tickets) it’d add some atmosphere that isn’t the same small selection of MP3s on a soundboard and the looping GIFs of the not-Thunderdome.