This week on Three Count: Benji’s squashed, and we’ve a high-flying four way main event!
Last week: Dover’s beaten up by Grup Anarsi… Vincenzo Coccotti becomes a psychologist… Lucky Kid’s crazy… and we bleed into this week as Cash Money Erkan isn’t exposing himself, he’s just throwing money at Chris Colen so “grandpa can buy a hip replacement.”
We open in the GWF offices, where Kati Libra and Wesna want to speak to Crazy Sexy Mike. They demand a match against he and Rambo… but Mike doesn’t want to wrestle “lightweight and granny.” Kati ups the stakes, but Mike doesn’t seem to care about women’s wrestling. Nor does Ahmed Chaer, at least in the script… They at least save things a little, with Ahmed claiming that Mike’s just scared, and that leads to Mike accepting the match… but all they need to do is last ten minutes. Win, and they take over, lose and they’re cleaning Rambo’s toilet.
In the training school, Tarkan Aslan’s jumping rope, but he takes a break. His brother Ben reckons he’s losing fitness, so here comes a pep talk, and it gets Tarkan going again. We switch rooms into the cafe as Ahmed Chaer’s speaking to Bad Bones. Klinger’s a little worried about Chaer’s recently-broken finger, along with the recent of his injuries… something which Ahmed reckons is tempering his love of “high spots”.
Outside… Lucky Kid is running! He’s got a call from the advertising agency, and despite acting all wacky during the casting call, he got the part. Looks like Pascal Spalter’s advice backfired, since Anke, who cast him, seemed to have fallen for Lucky.
Back in the locker room, Chris Colen’s warming up, but his neck and shoulders are causing issues… and we cut to the arena as Ahmed Chaer is giving a generic pre-show pep talk where he mentions nothing about the matches we’re about to see. “Doctor Cocotti” appears to present his ideas, but everyone slowly walks away. Everyone except Senza Volto and El Phantasmo.
Cue the titles, and we’re back inside Huxley’s Neues Welt for the matches, with Dave Bradshaw again on the English commentary.
Benji vs. Pascal Spalter
Benji’s introduced as the Loserweight champion, but he doesn’t have the belt… just because.
He’s got a tough opponent here in Pascal Spalter, which disgusted Dave on commentary, who had seemingly not seen the previous episodes where Crazy Sexy Mike had this match GIFTED to him. Spalter’s more than twice Benji’s (billed) weight, and this initially seems to be a warm-up for Dave to plug the GWF world title TLC match on the Revenge show in October. Benji’s taken down with a shoulder tackle, but he avoids an elbow drop… only to get chopped. A dropkick doesn’t faze Spalter, who’s eventually taken down with a ‘rana, only to return with a BRUTAL shotgun dropkick. One running Samoan drop later, and Spalter gets the win. Splat.
Senza Volto vs. Matt Cross vs. Kris Jokic vs. El Phantasmo
I swear the ring announcer introduces ELP from “Wan-couver”, which sounds a little smutty… All four men shake hands, so this should be a nice and clean outing, and we start with Cross and Phantasmo picking up where they left off at the start of the series. There’s a nice Flatliner/DDT combo from Cross to Phantasmo and Volto, before Kris Jokic gets involved, getting sent flying with a ‘rana after some rope walking from ELP.
Volto tries to catch ELP off guard, and eventually does so with a 619 to knock the Canadian off the top rope, ahead of a Code Red for a near-fall. Matt Cross returns with a wheelbarrow into a stomp for a near-fall, then with a backbreaker as Jokic has to break up the cover. Jokic pulls Cross off the top rope and follows in with a bridging fallaway slam for a two-count, before going outside for a moonsault off the apron. There’s the hi-vis tabards to identify the catchers! Senza Volto makes use of them seconds later with a step-up tope con giro, before Cross hits his version of a Sasuke special into the pile on the outside.
Back inside, Cross heads up top for a 450 splash, but Jokic rolls away and hits back hard with a death valley driver. The Parade of Moves continues with ELP’s 720 DDT out of the corner to Jokic, before Volto’s springboard Destroyer nearly ends it. A four-way forearm war breaks out, settling down to Volto and Jokic teeing off on each other… leading to a Stundog Millionaire from Volto, and a Project Ciampa from Jokic… only for a Spanish Fly from the Frenchman Volto to get a near-fall.
Cross is back with the New Wave guys gone, before hitting a springboard clothesline and a shooting star press to put away El Phantasmo. This was a decent four-way spotfest – the crowd were up for it throughout, which is always helpful. ***¼
After the show, Kris Jokic and Dover are outside discussing what happened with Grup Anarsi last week. Jokic tries to talk Dover out of jumping Anarsi, but it doesn’t seem to work… and that’s the end of it. This time, the credits “gag” is Vincenzo Coccotti in the GWF audio studio, bemoaning his lack of patients. Eventually he gets one, in the form of ring announcer Olaf, who’s still drunk off his carton(s) of wine… but it seems Olaf just wants a comfortable place to lay his head. Oh, and an easy head to slap… I didn’t get the comedy behind it all.
Three Count’s settled into a bit of a pattern now: a few skits at the start, a couple of matches, and the slow closing gag. It’s fine for what it is, but without watching the wider GWF programming (such as their monthly shows) it just feels like you’re in the olden days of watching shows like WWF Metal to build to bigger things, rather than any regular “A show”.