Hope you like change – GOOD’s latest show saw Gene Munny and Chris Brookes have to find a replacement for their replacement in their fight against some Welshman with animalistic names…
We’re back in the Craufurd Arms in Wolverton, and if you look closely enough, you’ll see us in some of the crowd shots. That’s one of the beauties of GOOD – despite it literally being in the back room of a pub, the camera work is top notch and head and shoulders above even some indys.
Scramble Match: CJ Carter vs. Fraser Thomas vs. Lee Hunter vs. Nina Samuels vs. Rhia O’Reilly vs. Terry Isit
It’s traditional for GOOD to kick off their shows with a scramble match, and this was no exception. We had debuts in the promotion for CJ Carter (who was advertised for the show), along with Rhia O’Reilly and Fraser Thomas, while Terry Isit was making a return after nearly two years away, last seen losing to Gene Munny.
It was a frantic start, with the poor cameraman having to capture it all on his lonesome, focusing on Isit and Hunter for the early parts before panning over to see Nina Samuels on the deck by the merch table.
Finally in the ring, O’Reilly got Isit up for a Finlay roll, but Nina Samuels jumped Rhia as we were in the business of breaking up pins in this elimination match for some reason. That earned her a Kevin Nash-like sidewalk slam from “Big Sexy” Lee Hunter, who instead got kicked right in his, erm, big sexy.
Next up, Fraser Thomas popped up CJ Carter almost into the lighting rig as we then moved into dive town – a Thomas tope took everyone into the lightly-padded wall, before we built up to a wacky chain of headlocks… which was broken up when CJ Carter broke free and kicked away Thomas’ leg, setting off a chain of stunners. Carter took the first elimination seconds later, pinning Thomas with a version of the Ki Krusher.
In the aftermath of that, Hunter got tossed into the ringpost, putting him out for the rest of the match as Isit almost won with a sit-out jawbreaker, before Carter decked him with a series of kicks. Rhia returned to set off a mini Tower of Doom, before a Rhiadjustment double-arm DDT got rid of Isit. Carter tried to capitalise with another modified Ki Krusher, but another Rhiadjustment led to his elimination instead.
Nina Samuels returns to lay into Rhia, with Nina taking great exception to St. Patrick’s Day, causing the crowd to get on her case even more. A Mr. Perfect-like neck flip doesn’t put Rhia away, nor does some clotheslines, but a running boot in the corner looked to do the trick… except referee Graham counted the three before changing his mind. You can’t get the staff, can you?
A ghostly clothesline out Nina down as Rhia mounted a comeback, working her way into an Exploder for a near-fall, before a superplex was escaped, with Nina hitting another big boot as she pinned Rhia with her feet on the ropes. Nina thought she’d won, but she’d forgotten about Lee Hunter, who rose from the dead, still grabbing onto his shoulder, which Samuels went for. Nina teased some Shattered Dreams, but Lee escaped and won out with a sunset flip to win the match proper! A fun elimination scramble, even if it was a little ghostly in places – you can’t beat a scramble to start a card! **½
After the match, Samuels put the boots to Hunter, only for Rhia to make the save… which led to Lee getting, erm, feelings for Rhia – even getting a date out of it all. Fair enough!
Sierra Loxton vs. Jayde
Jayde was in no mood for handshaking, clearly delineating herself as the baddie when she slapped the taste out of Loxton’s mouth before the start of the match.
Loxton retaliated with a series of hip attack-based offence, while Jayde was more than happy to go for boots… only for one to miss and earn herself a German suplex as Loxton quickly went back to the running attacks. Jayde’s able to fire back with a suplex of her own though as she wore down on Sierra in the corner.
The match quickly became even, with Jayde’s kicks to the back having the desired effect, but she let herself get aggravated by the crowd not cheering her – which would prove to be her undoing as Loxton hit back with a big spear, only for Jayde to take the mick, throwing in a hip attack of her own. It angered Sierra into hitting a few more of them, obliterating her foe in the corner for an eventual two-count.
Jayde tried to surprise her with Eat Defeat, but Sierra counters out into a Sharpshooter for a brief submission attempt. As she recuperated, Jayde got a fan’s drink and sprayed a mouthful of it into Sierra’s face, before a headbutt and Eat Defeat earned victory. A neat contest, with well defined good guys and bad guys – with Jayde racking up another win as she continued to gain steam. **¾
TK Cooper vs. Mark Davis
After initially having problems with the venue’s flood lighting, and being afraid to accept Dunkzilla’s offer of a high five, TK ended up with a high five alright… to the foot! Cue evil Dunkzilla laugh, and Cooper taking the match to the outside.
Where it had been snowing. Yes, in March. Problem was, the snowfall was a little on the light side, so all plans for a grand snowball fight were thrown off when Davis has to clear a picnic table of snow just to form a tiny ball. TK used another table to cover him in snow, and who knew… Aussies don’t like the cold! Kiwis do though, especially when he can use the snow to ice up bruises!
After throwing a snowball at TK, Davis gets his nipples tweaked… so that was the cue to run back in to the warm… where he smashed TK’s foot on the ceiling as he slammed him! We’re not done with the snow though – there was a “backup box” “full” of it, which Davis emptied onto the ring before eventually slamming TK into, like he dumped him into a pile of cold, not so sharp thumbtacks!
TK’s right back in with a neckbreaker for a near-fall, as Davis tried to use what was left of the snow to befuddle his opponent… which only served to give TK an idea as he tried to bully the ref with some “spare snow”. It nearly backfires as Davis rolled him up for a two-count, before a series of clubbing forearms and a lariat kept him on track. Davis had another TK comeback to contend with though, kicking out of an axe kick, before hitting the Alphamare Waterslide (inverted Angle slam) and another lariat as the pull-up piledriver put away Cooper. That was good! A little comedy, some grand graps, and a win for the good guy (with a convincingly evil laugh). ***½
Beano vs. Anthony Mafia
Last time out, it’s fair to say that Mafia was out there for a little too long with Ashley Dunn – but he’s back here as GOOD’s resident hoodlum, taking on the friendlier face of the “streets”, a man like Beano.
There’s the usual bad guy stuff here, with Mafia mocking Beano’s “wha’ you sayin’?” catchphrase, which led to Beano mounting a comeback, taking the match to the outside… where Mafia dumped him on the apron awkwardly. Mafia then took the joke a little too far, shouting at Beano through a rolled-up comic, the, erm, Beano… which he then threatened to shove up his rear end.
Of course it backfired and happened to him instead. Prop comedy! Unfortunately, Mafia’s attempt to redress things with the crowd, reassuring himself “I’m still a man though, yeah?” could easily be taken the wrong way…
Back in the ring, frustrated by Beano, Mafia threatened to shoot Beano with a finger gun… except he had one of his own! It didn’t quite work out though, as Mafia dumped Beano with a back cracker, before retribution came in the form of a wild dive to the outside from one of Newport’s favourites. It remained keenly fought, with Mafia peppering Beano with kicks before cartwheeling past a back body drop as he started to bully his way into the lead.
A glancing blow from a superkick was enough to fire Beano back into it, as he dumped Mafia with a spinebuster for a near-fall. Beano tried to follow up with a rope-hung uranage, but Mafia escaped and returned fire with a tornado DDT instead, before lawn-darting Beano into those there turnbuckles. Beano rared back into life, nearly winning with a pump kick, before ducking a happy slap and finishing off Mafia with that rope-hung uranage. This was pretty good, but it was starting to drag for me by the end. The character isn’t meant for me, but I struggle to engage with the Anthony Mafia act – whereas the Beano character is on the opposite end of the scale. That’s just my tastes, I’m afraid! ***
El Phantasmo vs. Kyle Fletcher
Without meaning to demean any of this match, this was played for the LOLs, with the early “feeling out” process involving a lot of dicking about, mostly from Kyle’s end. Phantasmo’s more than equal to it, as they squared off with a StreetFighter stand-off.
Which confused the heck of out Kyle. I know he’d not heard of Rollin’ before last year, but surely that’s not a reference too far? He does at least reply to Phantasmo’s “hadouken” fireball with an imaginery Aussie arrow, and we’ve got a Mexican stand-off, which is kayfabe apt!
After getting shot with an arrow, ELP heads outside for a gun, which Kyle disarmed him of as he proved that at 19… he’s a freaking loose cannon. A loose cannon that shot ELP… for a two count, as Phantasmo hulked up into life, completing the Hulkster’s comeback and stopping well short of saying anything questionable as Kyle kicked out from the legdrop.
ELP goes rope walking, and this time knows to avoid the lights and other ceiling fixtures, as he drops down to the MIDDLE rope before landing his ‘rana. Requests to “chop me like a man” from ELP led to some reluctant slo-mo wrestling… and if you’ve seen ATTACK!, you know what to expect. Albeit with a crowd that wasn’t e-n-t-i-r-e-l-y on board with the s-l-o-w-e-d d-o-w-n c-h-a-n-t-s.
So far we’re 2-for-5 in comedy matches, which is one of the more enjoyable things about GOOD. It’s not so gosh-darned serious, and everyone involved lets their hair down. If they have any… after a longer-than-I-remember period in slow mo (maybe the speed messed with the time continuums), which saw ELP hit a Stone Cold comeback at a tenth of the speed of Austin… today, then a Rock comeback, time goes all funky as Fletcher escaped the People’s Elbow and rolled him up for a super fast 3-count. I hear that exiting slow-mo can only be done at warp speed!
Match rating? LOL. If you like your comedy, you’ll get a kick out of this.
Wild Boar, Mike Bird & Big Grizzly vs. Chris Brookes, Gene Munny & Millie McKenzie
This was one full of replacements… originally it was meant to be CCK and Munny (who had his nipples taped up, because who really wants to have their nipples chopped off?). However, Lykos wasn’t cleared, so we were meant to get another version of CCK… but an ankle injury to Travis Banks forced another replacement.
But first, Gene had a present for the half of CCK that could turn up… an “at least you tried” present after Brookes didn’t win 16 Carat Gold in Germany the prior weekend… seventeen carrots! Ba-dum-tish!
The replacement’s replacement was then unveiled as… no, “it’s not fucking Graham”, it was Inflatable Kid Lykos! Except Big Grizzly took exception to that and beheaded the blow-up wolf. So we needed yet another replacement… Millie McKenzie, whether Brookes wanted her or not… although the fact that she fit into the Kid Lykos mask so snugly helped!
Once the bell rang, the trios match quickly scattered, with Big Grizzly going straight for Gene Munny… and a fan’s drink as Brookes (once he’d taken off his entire wardrobe full of clothes) went to work on Boar. Millie Lykos, even howling like the real thing, then had to contend with a quizzical Mike Bird, who put his lessons from watching Scooby Doo to practise, although when he ripped off the mask it wasn’t the creepy janitor underneath!
In response, Millie followed Chris Brookes’ advice, and punched Bird in the teeth, before she sent him flying with a ‘rana and a nice satellite headscissors. Chops follow, yielding some sickening thuds, before Millie tried to give Big Grizzly a German suplex. Which he just laughed off, scaring Millie into tagging out to a reluctant Munny.
Gene didn’t have any better luck, as Grizzly overwhelmed him, before handing it over to Wild Boar, whose backdrop suplex left the purveyor of Sexual Gammon in a heap, ahead of Mike Bird ripping off the plasters covering his nipples. So much ow. Of course, chops followed!
Brookes is right back in with chops of his own as the pace picked up a little, even if “Bear Man” threatened to break up covers, before we went back to Bird and McKenzie trading shots as a warm up for a spittle-laden nipple twist! Bird was a riot on defence, begging for his arm “because I need it to open doors” while protesting because “I said ow!” Things turned around for the trio, affectionately labelled the “South Wales Animal Sanctuary” when Boar tagged in and suplexed Brookes, but the sorta-CCK trio were right back in it.
At least for a little while!
Sorta-CCK built up to a wet willie, but instead of fingers they force-fed Boar some carrots, all while the referee found any reason to remonstrate Grizzly and Bird, conveniently missing the vegetable-based offence. Finally Bird makes a comeback, flattening Millie with a fireman’s carry gutbuster before they slapped each other down to the mat.
Finally we’re down to Munny and Grizzly, with the “bear man” flattening Gene with relative ease, before landing a choke bomb out of the corner for a near-fall. We get obligatory dives, with Bird doing his best Undertaker tope, before a German suplex from Millie flipped Bird over… and of course, there’s Germans for everyone… even Big Grizz! Oh, and a jubiliant Gene Munny too, and the ref… who was laid out as Millie just couldn’t control herself. Still, at least she knew CPR…
A teased Parade of Moves follows as Millie turns into Lykos again, nailing an elevated lungblower before Brookes back senton landed – without his jaunty sailor’s hat moving an inch! Boar’s back to flatten Munny’s gammon with a cannonball, then a sit-out tombstone, just in time for referee Graham to appear… to screw Boar by holding up the count. After a low blow, Graham was then killed with a Trapper Keeper onto 17 carrots. Ref in Peace.
Luckily, the first referee woke up just in time to count a near-fall after Munny’d laid out Grizzly with the “title belt”. Brookes throws in a second belt shot, this time hitting Munny by mistake (as half of Gene’s framed certificate of excellence flew into the crowd), before Bird handed a piledriver to Brookes for good measure. One more Trapper Keeper to Millie Lykos later, right on the carrots, and a pop-up powerbomb to Munny, and the South Wales trio claim the win after a long, wacky main event! Well worth watching if the GOOD brand of comedy wrestling is your cup of tea. ***½
After the match, and a quick round of Tom Jones karaoke, Grizzly paraded with the remains of Gene’s certificate before grabbing the microphone to issue a challenge to “apparently” the champion of GOOD Wrestling – a match to decide who “rules GOOD”. Maybe that’ll be on May’s show, Lose Yourself?
Having gone to a few shows, you know what the GOOD thing is about GOOD? There’s a lot of them: different wrestlers, and those you do see elsewhere are in different roles – which is extremely refreshing. You’re not getting the kinda-wholesome Chris Brookes from ATTACK!, or the CCK Brookes from everywhere else… plus you’re getting characters who you don’t see in many other places. How Gene Munny isn’t booked more often is a crime, to be honest with you. I don’t know if the kind of character and selling that Gene excels in would work in a bigger room, but I’d love to see it tried out at somewhere like the London Cockpit…