After a few months off, GOOD was back to get 2018 underway with a bang… which is what you’d expect from Danger! Danger! High Voltage! and an electric six (matches).

As usual, we’re at the Craufurd Arms on the outskirts of Milton Keynes, and it’s a pretty sizable crowd given the competition in the area – Rev Pro in London with the New Japan lads, 4FW with the All Japan lads…

Scramble: Beano vs. Candyfloss vs. Sierra Loxton vs. Love Making Demon vs. Warren Banks
The traditional GOOD Wrestling elimination opener had a rather mixed field, with four pretty well established good guys, against Warren Banks, who was making his GOOD debut and seemed to be the defacto bad guy.

It was Banks who “showed his arse” early, falling to a double-team hiptoss from Beano and Candyfloss after they’d gotten rid of the rest. From there, Candyfloss shares her sweets, but instead it backfires as Beano tries to choke her with strawberry laces… which Candy just bit away. That’s the benefit of edible weapons… you eat the evidence!

Thos quickly becomes a revolving door match, with two in for most of the time as they hit a move, left the ring,and were replaced. After a spell of, erm, typical perverted nonsense, The Love Making Demon, who was making noises like he was Toad from the Super Mario games, was the first out after taking a ripcord V-trigger from Banks, who looked more impressive after being the punchline to the joke “what happens when something from the dancefloor is used in wrestling?”

After that elimination, Banks took a leaping neckbreaker from Beano, who followed in with a low dropkick – a move that actually worked in spite of him calling it! He’s forced to abort a dive to the outside, as Banks has no time for that, but instead it just delayed it as a tope took Beano and Banks into the front row. The two ladies in the match tried to one up things too, but Candyfloss needed some more sugar before her dive, which handily gave those in the crowd enough time to move! Sierra Loxton, who’d largely played Candy’s foil so far, fought out of an armbar and a pair of corner dropkicks to the arm to keep on going, before one more cross armbreaker was countered out of with a powerbomb. A regular powerbomb followed, folding Candyfloss in half, and that was enough to put an end to the sugar high.

Warren Banks returned to obliterate Sierra with a leg lariat, but Beano’s back to buy her time as he avoids a ripcord high knee before doing the circle game. Yeah, Banks fell for it. A couple of kicks in the corner and another right hand had Banks down on his knees as Beano tore into the newcomer, landing a rope-hanging uranage for the next elimination. We’re down to Beano and Sierra, with the latter fighting out of another uranage before wiping out the Welshman with a hip attack for a near-fall.

Beano tries to kick his way back, but he swings and misses, as Loxton drills him with a spear to win the match. A hell of a fun opener, not too spotty and somehow gave everyone a chance to show their defined characters, rather than being “a body in the mix”. Hey, this match breezed along as well. Good stuff. Pun intended. ***¼

Wild Boar vs. Big Grizzly
We like these kind of matches – big men (okay, one of them isn’t) beating the tar out of each other…

Once we get the size jokes out of the way, with Grizzly mocking Boar for his (lack of) height, things quickly become hard hitting, with the Welsh lads having no qualms laying it in. A flying shoulder tackle sees Boar knock Grizz off his feet, before he takes him into the corner for some biting. An attempt at a pop up fails dismally, as Grizz just replies by effortlessly tossing the Boar out of the ring with a fallaway slam.

They go around ringside with Grizz having the crowd hold Boar for some chops, before Grizz almost lands one on a fan… he followed up by stealing someone’s drink and smashing Boar with the empty cup, before Boar retaliated with a nice tope into the acoustically-padded wall. Another drink’s used and sprayed on the Boar, as Grizzly takes him back in for an avalanche and a leg drop to earn himself a near-fall.

A swinging lariat from Grizz knocks Boar down hard, but he misses with a back senton off the middle rope, giving Boar a window of opportunity… a window that he capitalised on, headbutting away a lariat before hitting a back suplex and a cannonball for an eventual two-count, once he’d dragged the big guy away from the ropes. Boar teases a Destroyer, but Grizzly escapes and nonchalantly hits another back senton for a two-count, before he catches Boar off the top rope with a gamengiri. Another back senton off the middle rope actually connects this time, but there’s plenty of life in the Boar yet, as he proves with another fightback, ducking a Grizzly lariat to tease a death valley driver…

They tease a ref bump, but thankfully the official escapes as Boar lands a pop up powerbomb before getting off the impressive as hell death valley driver for another two-count. Eventually, Grizzly’s had enough and he just plants Boar with a suplex into a side slam for the win as the engrossing battle of the Welsh lands ended. That was extremely satisfying, and another match to add to Boar’s sneakily-good-year so far. ****

There’s a cut as Grizzly offered a rematch, and instead we’re taken to… Baker Street? No, the saxophone jazz announces the arrival of Gene Munny! He’s on his lonesome today, so this is a strange fight for him to pick, but instead he puts over the match… and suggests that because of that, he’s technically beaten Wild Boar. MMA Maths, everyone!

Just as Boar and Grizzly looked to threaten Gene, he called on CCK to save him… everyone stops as CCK’s music hits, but it’s pretty clear they’re not coming. Gene makes a phone call, where he finds out that CCK are at Rev Pro, and them being at York Hall is going to be his undoing. He asks if they can make it to the show later on, before cowering in fear as he ran away. Ah, it took me a while, but I absolutely love Gene Munny as the loud mouth, arrogant yet chicken-shit bad guy at the top of the proverbial shit pile (some of those are his words, not mine).

Bowl-a-Rama (Lloyd Katt & Splits McPins) vs. Sweet Jesus (Pastor William Eaver & Chuck Mambo)
A first time tag match here, and it’s a bit of a comedy special… although the slip on the crossbody early on from McPins probably wasn’t meant to be part of the act.

Splits recovers quickly and trips Mambo before a leaping stomp and a dropkick to the back gets an early two-count. Mambo tries to hit back with a superkick, but instead he lands a drop toe hold before pulling Splits into a Mexican surfboard, right in the corner so the Pastor can throw in a chop. Right into, what Lloyd Katt called was his “bowling chest”.

God, I love small shows like this, especially when guys take advantage and lean into the comedic possibilities.

Pastor’s in and nails a suplex after the surfboard was let go… and in comes Katt, who gets the tag “to have a tussel”. That quickly gives way to some slow-mo graps from Lloyd, ending with a lariat after the Pastor mocked his weight. That’s not kind! Lucha rolls from Katt follow as he was shocked by the Holy Ghost, before running into a uranage backbreaker and a Fisherman’s suplex. Dives follow next as Katt rolled outside, with Mambo going flying, followed by Splits and finally the Pastor himself, as he sailed over the top rope with a plancha. Back inside, Mambo uses the Reefbreaker knees to get the Pastor a near-fall, before McPins caught a light fitting as he was taken up for a powerbomb… instead escaping to hit a DDT on Eaver as the two-counts kept flying in.

A spiked belly-to-back piledriver gets the bowlers another near-fall, and Katt a sore arse, as the ring filled up for a parade of moves, ending when Mambo and Katt decked each other at the same time. Splits is back up first to use his bowling ball, but he’s stopped by the Pastor, who uses the Holy Ghost to redirect the ball into Lloyd’s Katts… but Lloyd’s in to block it as everyone gets whacked with the bowling ball instead.

More Bowl for Your Buck follows, but Katt misses his moonsault and runs into a Strike lariat from Eaver, before a dropkick-assisted crucifix gets a near-fall… to the shock of Mambo, who ends up doing a Mega Powers deal with the Pastor, including the tassled elbow pads for duelling top rope elbows as duelling leg drops get Sweet Jesus the win. Ooh yeah! This felt a little rough at parts, but the finish was entirely comic relief, so I guess that saved it. **¾

Fortunately the interval wasn’t shown in full here, as you get seconds of a blank screen rather than the near-hour that the live crowd got as they stalled for time. Problem was, despite the long interval, there were still late comers, so we had a dark segment and a match that needed to stretch…

Anthony Mafia vs. Ashley Dunn
Mafia made his debut for GOOD in the scramble match last time out, while Dunn has been around a fair bit, working in promotions like Rev Pro and WCPW/Defiant. He’s hawking GOOD merchandise here, so he’s the instant good guy against the ‘hoodlum Mafia, who spends the start of the match trying to be all Homicide.

There’s a guy in the crowd who can’t quite do it. Perhaps in Mafia’s mind, his brrrap was crap?

Mafia complains early on that he nearly cut his head on an extra turnbuckle fixing, as GOOD have gone for the lower three of four turnbuckles due to the Craufurd Arms being pretty low. He’s spending a lot of time early showboating and stalling, before Mafia swats down Dunn with a chop to the chest, forcing the local lad Dunn to try and fight back from the ground. It’s not instantly successful as Mafia slaps him, before turning around into a receipt, as the back-and-forth continued.

Mafia’s apologetic as he chokes Dunn in the corner, but he remained on top, dropping Dunn with a slam before there’s more mouthing off to the crowd. That gave Ashley a chance to make a comeback, rolling him up for a two-count before getting dropped with some more kicks as Mafia began wearing him down some more, bullying Dunn with, erm, his crotch. Dunn knocked Mafia flying with a baseball cap (honest to God), before getting payback for that crotch-based offence with an atomic drop as the comeback began in earnest… only for Mafia to send Dunn flipping with a back cracker for a two-count. An Arabian clutch followed as Mafia insisted that the ref “ask him harder” when an initial submission was rejected…

Dunn begins another comeback with an enziguiri, before leathering Mafia with forearms as he was taken into the corner for an uppercut and a face-washing boot. A Final Cut nearly put Mafia away, but the man from the streets comes back with a tornado DDT and a lawn dart to send Dunn hurtling into the middle turnbuckle. The match becomes more back-and-forth as the pair trade charges into the corner, ending when Dunn catches Mafia in the corner and brings him down with a double stomp as we got our first “This Is GOOD” chant. Took the crowd long enough… five and a half shows, in fact! There’s a few swings and misses as Dunn eventually hits Mafia with a Destroyer – in what felt like a natural finish – but instead Mafia gets a hand to the rope to keep him alive in the match.

A dropkick from Mafia sent Dunn flying, but only for a near-fall as Mafia took too long to roll him up into a wacky pin where the shoulders touched the mat… but that didn’t matter as the ref counted the headstand/pin anyway, giving Mafia a two-count. Err… at least it’s not the old referee overwhelming the show, I guess?

From the kickout, Dunn waffles Mafia with a death valley over-the-knees driver, but he can’t capitalise for a cover, and so we’re back to the back-and-forth strikes until Dunn nails a Shining Wizard, only for Mafia to return with a fireman’s carry gutbuster and a uranage into a lungblower for the win. That finish felt a little out of nowhere, culminating what almost felt a WWE/205 Live version of a cruiserweight match – with some good stuff in there, almost lost by the padding. There were extenuating circumstances that forced this to go long, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Live, I lost interest in this by the end, but it picked up on the rewatch. ***

Hunter Brothers (Jim Hunter & Lee Hunter) & Beano vs. Jayde, Nina Samuels & Sofia Ari
This was originally meant to be the Hunters against Jayde and Nina, the women decided to add a third member in the form of the (unannounced) Sofia Ari. In response, the Hunters found a long lost brother: Beano Hunter!

Fortunately, he kept his usual gear, and looks nothing like Jim or Lee, so there’ll be little confusion among “who’s who?!”

The women jump the Hunters at the bell, and instantly take the match outside as the match was a nightmare to film and follow. Jayde and Jim stayed in the ring though, with Jim’s wristlock proving to be an easy tag out for Lee to continue the hold, before Beano completed the set. There’s something about hearing a Midland accent trying to do the “white-guy rapper” shtick that’s so jarring, but comedic at the same time.

Beano keeps hold of the wrist as Jim tags back in to trip down Jayde, and it’s those frequent tags that looked to have Jayde in trouble… until she raked the eyes and tagged in Sofia Ari for her debut. Which saw her fall flat on her face to a drop toe hold as Beano tagged in to moonwalk around her.

A slam gets Beano a near-fall as the Hunters tried to get the crowd all excited for a body slam. Sofia didn’t want any more slams, and instead she dished one out, taking Jim down with ease before dragging him to the corner as Nina Samuels came in and was instantly trolled by slow-motion siren sounds. She misses a big boot into the corner, before running into a superkick and a neckbreaker as Beano put her on the back foot. Eventually the bad gals cheat as Beano gets tripped by Sofia, and Beano’s firmly on the defensive as he gets slapped and stomped silly thanks to a series of revolving tags. Something else that was revolving was the discus forearm he gave Nina, who quickly replied with a tiltawhirl backbreaker as Beano was left in peril for a little while longer.

Ari’s back in and charges into Beano with back elbows in the corner, before a handspring back elbow left him loopy, as did the running kick… but Beano’s able to kick out at two. Beano tries to fight back when Jayde tagged in, but it’s the same story as he nearly falls to a Northern Lights suplex from Ari. Finally, he lands an enziguiri, but Jayde’s in before Beano can tag out, only for him to escape Eat Defeat and finally make the tag in to Jim.

A springboard back elbow from Jim sends Nina sailing into the corner, as she’s then sent from corner-to-corner with Irish whips, before a side slam and an imploding standing senton nearly put Samuels away. Eventually, Jim and Nina get the same idea as they collide into each other with crossbodies at the same time, before Lee Hunter gets the tag in to tear through Jayde with clotheslines.

Lee tries a side Russian legsweep, but Jayde gets the ropes and this quickly turns into a Human Centipede of legsweeps, ending when Beano surveyed the scene and hit the side Russian legsweep to Ari, triggering the rest. That leaves us with Lee and Jayde again, but with the referee distracted by fixing an apron that Jayde had pulled out of place, he misses a low blow as Jayde rolled up Lee for the win. A cheap finish, but a really good trios match – and somehow, GOOD have managed to find pluck yet another relatively-unknown female from the UK scene and drop them into their card without them looking out of place. Such is the depth of talent on the scene right now… ***¼

Gene Munny Certificate of Excellence: Mike Bird vs. Gene Munny (c)
Our main event had “a time limit”, which was “about an hour” because of last orders. There’s comedy right away as Munny does the David Starr nicknames gimmick, presumably because of this…

Ring announcer Adam tells us that “this will be better than Rock vs. Austin”, but doesn’t specify which… so choose your bar accordingly. They open with the Rock/Hogan “look at the crowd” stuff, before Munny cheapshots from the handshake as we’re right into the Rock spot. Bird replies with a Thesz Press, and it’s just like I’m watching WrestleMania 15!

They head outside as Bird lights up Munny with chops to the chest, sending nipples flying, before Gene has more of the same inside. Finally he remembers the other thing the Rock did… the spinebuster… but he doesn’t have elbow pads, so he can’t do the People’s Elbow, and eventually gets sent back outside again.

More comedy from Bird as he pokes fun at how referees should be applying the rules to suit the match, before they headed over to the merch table, where Gene decides to Rock Bottom Bird onto the table. Thankfully, it doesn’t break… because “that’s not one of those breaky tables”… Aha! Munny returned to the ring to try and claim a count-out, but Bird beats the count as the Rock/Austin stuff gave way to Gene wearing down Bird in the ropes… particularly since Munny had run out of the Rock’s moves. Bird gave him an idea, which is followed through as a Samoan drop left the Welshman down, leading to Gene reminding us that “you morons paid for this”.

Gene busts out a non-Rock move with an Exploder slam – something Dwayne can’t do – for a near-fall, before something close to a worm saw him play around as Bird was on the outside. A Gammonball – standing imploding senton – gets Gene another two count, before Gene resorts to more underhanded psychological warfare… by picking Bird’s nose and eating it. Munny tries to whip Bird using his belt, but the make up of it makes it hard to do much beyond love-taps with it… the ref tries to get into Gene’s face, and he actually stands up for himself, shoving Munny down for a loud cheer as Bird mounts a comeback, launching into Gene with an uppercut and an Exploder.

Bird tries to go up top, but the low ceiling means he can’t quite fly, so he just falls off the top with a swandive headbutt instead. “Chris Benoit’s B-finisher” doesn’t get the job done, so Bird tries for a Stone Cold Stunner, only for Munny to WrestleMania it up and hit a Rock Bottom instead. The moonsault that followed wasn’t a Rock special, particularly because it missed, and Bird’s back in control with some mudhole stomping.

Another Stunner is countered as a Rock Bottom follows… before Gene’s attempt at a People’s elbow connects for not even a one count! Bird rebounds with a… Hulk Hogan comeback, but the big boot and legdrop only gets a two-count, before Munny escaped a piledriver, instead giving Bird a chance to pull down his shorts and reveal an eyeful.

Who’s Pat?!

Kick, wham, Stunner! And Gene really is showing his arse… and now, CCK?!

Except, that’s not Chris… and that’s probably not Lykos? Still, full marks to whomever came up with a pizza dish as a replacement for the baking tray… in the distraction, Munny hits Bird with the Ainsley Lariat, and that’s all folks! A bit too out-of-nowhere, but a suitable end to a wacky match… your mileage will definitely vary! ***

After the match, Munny puts his “big boy pants” back on, before going for another Ainsley Lariat… but Wild Boar makes the save! Gene tries to run away, but he’s stopped at the crowd exit by… Big Grizzly! Grizz throws Munny back into the ring where the trio – dubbed the South Wales Animal Sanctuary – do the Shield thing, giving Gene the Cerberus bomb after they argued over who’d be Roman Reigns… and the crowd went home happy.

So, for a show missing perhaps some of the bigger names, GOOD’s Danger! Danger! High Voltage! was actually pretty, erm, good. The promotion continued it’s record of using names that were only known to the most hardcore of fans, and giving them another stage to perform… and hey, they’re keeping the storyline going with Gene Munny and CCK against the Welsh lads. GOOD return in March for that trios main event, and undoubtedly a whole lot more fun underneath it… and if you’re within driving distance of Milton Keynes, you owe it to yourself to make it there! If you can’t, well, it’s just as well their VOD are beautifully shot by one of the most under-rated camera crews on the UK scene!