After a year away, GOOD Wrestling returned to Milton Keynes for their fourth show… and my God, “hot” was a word that could describe several things about it!

Ashley Dunn vs. Beano vs. Fowler vs. Hustle Malone vs. Jayde
We open up with a five-way elimination match, with ATTACK! trainee Beano being a late replacement for Panda Cub. Part of the charm of a smaller venue such as this, apart from the weird and wonderful artwork, is that everything is picked up…from the wrestler’s remarks to fans wiping their brows. Repeatedly. Sorry.

Hustle Malone gets the mic for a monologue before they all lock up, because he’s got a problem with Ashley Dunn being in the “orgy match”. He called him a “low polygon Will Ospreay”, amongst other things, and Hustle Malone’s comedy night continued… and ended quickly when Dunn rolled him up for the first elimination! A pinfall in the dark, as someone’d killed some of the lights…

The spotlights return as Jayde eats a dropkick from Beano, before ducking a Yakuza kick in the corner and landing a back cracker for a near-fall. She slaps away Dunn’s attempt at a bicycle kick, but quickly gets pulled into the ropes for an enziguiri, then a missile dropkick as Dunn followed up with a snap side suplex to send her to the outside. Fowler takes over for a bit, choking away on Dunn in the corner, but eventually Ashley just pulled himself back up and returned fire, dropping him with a savat kick and a standing shooting star press for a near-fall. Beano and Dunn then tease some dives, only for Fowler and Jayde to cut them off with forearms, before Beano took an Eat Defeat from Jayde.

Despite working together, Fowler dropped Jayde with a single right hand for the next elimination – a rather unpopular one at that – prompting Beano to come back and fight for Jayde’s honour, I guess? Even though she’d just rammed her foot into his face… anyway, that didn’t go to plan as Fowler threw Beano around like he was nothing for a spell. Fowler finally goes by way of a diving knee from Dunn, before a small package nearly spelled the end of Beano.

In the end though, the Man Like Beano hit a dropkick before a snug Fisherman Driver nearly earned him a win, before instead falling to an ushigoroshi as Dunn took the honours. A really solid opener, not as much flippy stuff as you’d expect with these guys, but be realistic… you’re not going to get too much of that in this venue! Not with that low ceiling… ***

Ryan Smile vs. Mike Bird
Sadly, they edited out all of the pre-match mic work from Smile and Bird, which was probably bordering on ruinous for several. We do, however, get a jump start as Smile attacks Bird re-entering the ring, before a series saw Smile get dropkicked to the outside. Just like that, Bird declares that they’re “going to the beach”, and we rejoin the action in the Craufurd Arm’s car park, where Bird clubs away at Smile, before Irish whipping him across the road.

Except Smile actually stops, looks, and listens for oncoming traffic before running into a wall on the other side of the road. My God, my sides! Bird didn’t follow the Green Cross Code as much, as he then took Smile into the path of an oncoming taxi, as the streets of Wolverton got a little more than they bargained for. As did those who were able to park their cars there…

A fan gets thrown into Smile as the clubbering continued… and all of a sudden we see the referee get bodyslammed in the car park. Next to be used was the ring truck and an overly worried promoter, before Smile’s long run up from the pub garden led to a Superman punch.

Bird fights away from a suplex to slam that ref again, and we get a jump cut to Ryan playing hide and seek with the ring truck so he could sneak up on Bird… and kick him in the balls. They spot a dumpster in the car park, and all of a sudden everyone wants to throw someone in there… in the end though, neither Smile nor Bird end up there, but instead it’s the referee. Because of course he’s there to be abused!

Smile leaps off of a wall into Bird, but quickly ends up on the defensive as the pair brawled back into the building, but not before Smile was suplexed by the Welshman onto a wooden bench. Somehow, that didn’t crack!

All of a sudden the referee starts counting as the pair sulk back into the ring, but not before the ref kicks Bird back for all those slams. The wrestling resumed when Smile was caught on the top rope and brought down with an overhead belly-to-belly, whilst somehow avoiding the low roof. After Bird hit a back suplex, Smile resurged with a Blue Thunder Bomb and some superkicks, before a springboard Cutter attempt was turned into a German suplex as the momentum kept shifting.

Smile comes back with the “Indy move” (Destroyer), but Bird no-sells and comes back with a Superman Punch and a Gotch piledriver for the win. How on earth do you summarise this? Wackiness from start to finish, which at one point had several wondering “are they trying to not get booked again?” After the match, the ref eats some Gotch piledrivers, just to keep the absurdity high! ***

Chris Brookes vs. Kyle Fletcher vs. Mark Davis vs. Wild Boar
We’ve got a nearly-concussed ref here as Graham – the same guy who took piledrivers, slams and the bin spot is still out here.

The match opens with a spot of bullying as Brookes, Fletcher and Davis try to push out Boar for a spot of “tall lads’ wrestling”, before finally getting himself in with a headbutt to Davis’ chest. It’s like men against boys, at least in terms of size! When the Boar did get into it, he trips Brookes before dumping Fletcher for a two-for-one back senton.

Unfortunately from there, he struggles with Dunkzilla, eventually T-bone suplexing Davis, only to get kicked into the corner for the “Chainsaw Punch” as things started to disintegrate for the big Aussie… mainly by way of a big double stomp to the back of the head from Kyle Fletcher, who then had to deal with Chris Brookes… who had to negotiate a low ceiling… and one guy in the front row who chanted CCK.

That just earned Kyle a wet willie – and a lot of incredulity – before we get a pile-on of submissions… broken up by the Boar, who used the ref as a stool to climb onto Davis for a sleeper. Then promptly get thrown off! The Boar then flies into Davis on the outside, before the favour’s returned, as everyone gets involved… as is tradition. Brookes manages to get in a tope con hilo, whilst Fletcher’s dive off the top rope makes sure he doesn’t become part of the ceiling.

Back in the ring, Davis and Brookes waffle Fletcher with forearms on the top rope, before Boar comes in to help with a tower of doom that somehow didn’t kill the ceiling! Cannonballs from Boar flatten everyone else, before the Aussies work together to somehow give Brookes a clothesline from a wheelbarrow… it’s all chaotic nonsense. Of the good kind!

Davis uses a missile dropkick to send Boar almost out of the ring, before an impressive spot where Brookes took a powerbomb onto Fletcher’s back… as Kyle’d bent over to… tie his boots up? The Aussie Arrow comes back with a Michinoku Driver to Boar for a near-fall, before he was killed with the Trapper Keeper package piledriver as Brookes made a late save. In the end, the Boar was used as a makeshift Lykos for that elevated Codebreaker dealy, before a backslide (of all things!) saw Brookes pin Fletcher. An action-packed outing, with the fans cheering for Brookes… so for this part at least, we’re in with the PROGRESS lineage. Foreshadowing! ***½

After interval, out came Gene Munny, along with his manager/whatever Hustle Malone and a carrier bag. Munny, who’s like a more rubber-faced clone of Benny Hill, with more fair hair and more perversion, is fed up that GOOD don’t have a title. So he’s printed out a certificate of excellence that he’s going to be defending. The whole act is chock full of comedy, as is Hustle singing the Gene Munny theme song.

GLOW it was not!

Gene Munny Certificate of Excellence Match: Gene Munny (c) vs. Big Grizzly
“He’s big and he’s grizzly”, declares Gene, who ran as soon as Grizz even looked his way.

It was all big (and grizzly) in the opening moments as he went after Munny with chops, but Gene eventually slid out of the ring to avoid the heavy-handed onslaught. Of course Grizz joined them by way of a diving headbutt off the apron, taking out Munny and Malone, causing Gene to complain about the damage to his “favourite spine”.

It’s an entertaining destruction of the rubber-faced Munny, who finally gets something in as he dropped Grizz over the top rope with a stunner… for not even a one-count! It takes some liberal interference from Hustle, and a missed shoulder charge into the corner, for Grizzly to be put on the defensive, which somehow included Munny picking Grizz’s nose and eating it. Disgusting.

Grizz counters a sunset flip by swivelling out and squashing Gene with a back senton, but more distractions from Hustle let Gene chop away the knee before hitting a standing imploding senton for a near-fall. Regardless, Grizzly comes back with a shoulder tackle off the top, then a capture suplex as he tried to tenderise the “Sexual Gammon”, before dumping Gene with a Michinoku driver that somehow managed to knock some confetti off of a lighting rig above the ring!

Somehow Gene gets Grizz up for a big slam that almost won it, before he then went for Ainsley Lariat… and instead ate a crossbody. Grizz fires back with more nipple-removing chops, along with a chokeslam… before just blasting Gene with a forearm! Hustle gets on the apron again, claiming he’s got something in his eye… that’s not helped when Grizzly brings him into the ring the hard way.

That distraction kinda pays off though, despite Hustle getting flattened in the corner, as Gene got just a one count from Ainsley Lariat. A pop-up powerbomb flattens Munny again, but Hustle pulls out the ref to stop the count… which leaves the ref helpless as Hustle tries to kiss him. Gene then pulls the Eddie Guerrero spot with the Certificate of Excellence… which distracts the ref as he puts the framed certificate away as a low blow and another Ainsley Lariat ensures Gene keeps his piece of paper! Another enjoyable outing here, and for my first time seeing Gene Munny live… I was thoroughly entertained! ***¼

Hustle and Gene keep beating on Grizzly afterwards – at least until “Human Fly” hits as Chris Brookes and Kid Lykos enter the fray to a huge roar. They run off the comedy pair… then turn their sights onto Grizz. Because why would they help him? We’re back to normality folks! Eventually Boar, Bird and Ashley Dunn head out to clear the area… and this segues into a surprise match!

Kid Lykos vs. Ashley Dunn
It’s all Dunn from the off, laying into Lykos with plenty of chops that left the wolf reeling. It also exposed the “purple Power Ranger”’s new, baggy gear… something that he’ll eventually grow into. For now, he’ll have to keep remembering to tuck it in as he screams for a brainbuster!

Lykos went through his usual stuff, including a regular Codebreaker and Brookes’ strait-jacket into a knee strike, before starting to dish out some receipts of his own from those chops. Unfortunately for him, Ashley turned it back around briefly, before slapstick Lykos screamed “I got you”… and missed a splash into the corner. Whoops!

Lykos tries to get a submission from a rear chinlock, before he opts to work on the legs some more as the crowd continues to berate the baggy wolf every time he made a peep. Dunn continued to counter away from brainbusters, before Lykos grabbed the ref and told him to “be Chris”… for the elevated Codebreaker deal that… the referee shoved him away from. Yeah, there’s only one Chris Brookes, and the guy in the black and white… wasn’t him!

Dunn comes back with forearms in the ropes as Lykos went to the outside… but the dive’s aborted before Ashley negotiates the low roof for a missile dropkick, before almost beating Lykos with his own move. Instead, Lykos nearly gets the win himself, countering a brainbuster into an Air Raid Crash, before a Full Moon earned him another near-fall… much to the Wolf’s disbelief.

In the end, more back and forth ended with an overhead kick from Dunn, before some shenanigans with the ref allowed Lykos to punt Dunn low ahead of a diving knee for the win. A typically cheaty finish, but a really good match up until this point – perhaps a case for the best of the night, depending on your tastes? ***¾

The Dazzler Team (Darrell Allen & Earl Black Jr.) vs. Jack Sexsmith & ??
The story from the first few GOOD shows was that Jack had the Dazzler Team always interfering with his matches… so we get this match where Jack’d have a mystery partner to stave off that threat. Sadly, he’d not turned up yet, so we started with a handicap match. Hey, all three of these guys are pretty good in the ring, even if they’re not all in front of your eyeballs in high profile places, so that’s not a bad thing.

Straight from the off, Jack’s double-teamed (not like that) as the referee uncharacteristically tried to maintain order. He’ll be removed from shows if he keeps trying to enforce the rules! Sexsmith manages to join together the Pearl Neckbreaker and LGBDT… but it’s not too long before the numbers game comes back into play as Jack’s forced to fight from behind. Again, not like that. Just when things looked to be over for Jack, the Dazzlers went for the 3D – Dazzler Death Drop… but then… his partner arrived. Cue insanity, people pulling their jaws off their face in shock…Jack’s partner was the LOVE MAKING DEMON.

Two universes colliding as one, but why did nobody think of this tandem sooner?!

Careless Whisper sadly didn’t play for the rest of the match as the Demon was tagged in and flew in with a springboard something-or-other. Curse that low ceiling. A sexed up wheelbarrow led to Allen being thrown into Earl in the corner, before the Dazzlers took some groins to the face. Happy times!

Allen asks for the Demon’s “wrestler’s licence”, which just gets him thrown outside by his balls as Jack dives onto the Dazzlers… before the Demon lands a flip senton to the floor. And then fondles a fan’s beard. Things quickly go back the other way as Jack gets suplexed on the stage, leaving the Demon to offer Allen up for chops to a rather unwilling crowd, before that numbers game overcomes the mouse-masked man.

Eventually, Demon gets the tag in to Jack… but the ref was too busy dealing with Darrell and so that tag… not legal! After a while longer, the Demon almost gets a win by sitting down on a sunset flip, and again with a dry hump as he and Allen roll around the ring in a rather suggestive manner, dragging the ref into things too!

Finally Jack gets the legal tag in as he kicks away at the Dazzlers, before dumping Darrell with another LGBDT. We get a long shot of Jack Sexsmith’s bare arse as Earl Black Jr resisted a Stinkface, before landing an old school suplex. Jack’s back with the Big Double Stomp Move, and that’s the prelude to Double Mr Cocko.

The Dazzlers quickly freed themselves and went for a pair of ankle locks, only for those too to be reversed as the Sexually Frivolous pair scored with some tiltawhirls into a pair of Crippler Cockfaces… and with mouths full of prophylactics, they were forced to tap! A hell of a fun ending to a wacky show… ***½

As a show, this was a blast to be at. There’s a lot to be said for having professionals who are very good at their craft in a relaxed atmosphere such as this, with the crowd free to get in shots (within reason!) and the wrestlers (within limits) to give back too. A lot of that atmosphere came across on VOD too, helped by some top notch camera work that seemed to capture a lot of stuff at the right time.

At under £5, this show is well worth every penny – even if it’s just a “curiosity buy” or “something different”. You won’t regret it… and if you’re able to get to Wolverton… then get to their next show in September!