Perhaps the best promoted indy show of the weekend was a late Friday night in New Orleans, as Joey Janela’s second Spring Break was presented to a packed house.
We’re watching this on the replay – which is just as well since they started late! After half an hour of looping trailers, we started with a video spoofing The Wrestler, finishing with “old Lio Rush” tweeting. It’s apt that we had to have someone scream at Larry Legend to get the show going, and my word, the Pontchartrain Center is PACKED.
Denver Colorado’s on commentary with a rotation of guest hosts, starting with Emil Jay.
Eli Everfly vs. DJ Z vs. Tony Deppen vs. Gringo Loco vs. KTB vs. Teddy Hart
They finally got DJ Z’s upside down stuff right! You can tell it’s late because commentary really doesn’t give a damn – even with Denver throwing a little bit of shade at his own product, having gone from seeing Beyond in an empty room 24 hours earlier to this!
Everfly takes a nasty spill to the floor in the opening stages as the ring cleared, but KTB tried to be the early aggressor, only to run into a leaping knee from Deppen. Eli’s back with a nice satellite headscissors to Gringo, before a rewind spinning ‘rana only angered Loco… living up to his name! DJ Z takes over as that god damned air horn sounds, prompting Teddy Hart to hit something close to a bulldog as Emil Jay threw out a FloSlam reference for reasons. Deppen gets absolutely crushed by an electric chair lumbar check from Teddy Hart… but Teddy doesn’t follow up straight away, as he thinks before nailing a torture rack into a lumbar check.
Christ, Teddy’s spamming that move as a Bodom Breaker version of the lumbar check followed to Eli, before somehow turning a Gory special into a sit-out suplex powerbomb. What in the world?! A more conventional moonsault to the floor follows, as I get sad at just how wasted Teddy Hart’s talent has been.
We’re back to the dives as Loco gets a step-up senton as Teddy just walked away from the catch, and again as KTB got a tope con giro… because Teddy ain’t bumping for no-one! Everfly shines with a pop-up into a flying ‘rana to Loco on the floor, before rushing back to the ring for a tornado DDT and a short DDT on KTB, as he saved the show from being shut down, countering a top rope powerbomb into a ‘rana.
Tony Deppen’s back as he clears his nose on Everfly, before we get a human centipede of side Russian legsweeps, triggered by a KTB blockbuster… only for KTB to get spiked with a flying DDT from Hart. A neckbreaker and a Quebrada elbow gets a near-fall as I’m beginning to wonder if Teddy really cloned himself to be the Italian Dream in another continent.
Gringo Loco crushes Deppen with a senton as we’re into crash and burn territory, although Logo returns with an Ace crusher out of the corner for a two-count on KTB… who then takes a wacky sunset flip bomb as Loco was powerbombed onto him by DJ Z, before Deppen throws some punches at Eli to change the pace, as we slowed down into a… DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPER DESTROYER as Everfly took the win.
OMG!! @EliEverfly #JJSB2 #GCWhttps://t.co/AtB74rf67F pic.twitter.com/g9j9AHtHHj
— LARIATOOOO!! (@MrLARIATO) April 7, 2018
Oh, my word. That was quite the opener – and a performance that commentary put over as a break-out for Everfly. Yep, I can see this getting him a bump on the indys… ***¼
James Ellsworth vs. Matt Riddle
Kevin Gibb is in on guest commentary here, as we’re up for a spot of trash, according to some. James Ellsworth has his vanity “intergender title”, which was oddly not defended on thay Beyond/WWN show last night.
Mix ‘n’ Match Riddle is down to just the jacket of his Kill Bill tracksuit, and the match starts with Ellsworth chopping Riddle’s leg as he tried to end this quickly. See, all that tape-watching worked – although I’m not sure what his plan was for “when Riddle doesn’t pose”!
The crowd were on Ellsworth’s back from the off, and were positively delirious when Riddle began throwing him around, taking him into the corner for some forearms and an Exploder. Riddle looked to knee Ellsworth’s chin off, but you can’t take off what you don’t have! That gave Ellsworth an opening, as he barely gets a one-count from a superkick, then a near-fall from a second, as his puncher’s chance wore out, as Riddle decided enough was enough and pulled him down into a Bromission for the submission. An extended squash, but a lot of fun! **¼
See, having a hot crowd drags everything up! Gotta dig Papa Hales having a blast in the front row – I can’t think he’s trying out for Jeffrey Tambor’s old role in Transparent though?
Tracy Williams jumps in on commentary here, but we’re interrupted by Virgil, who left his no-queue gimmick table for this. Apparently he tried to call out Janela, but his music hits again as he eventually takes the cue to leave. The hell was that?
PCO vs. WALTER
Hoo boy – this was a wild match when it was announced, and it’s safe to say it didn’t let you down. A quick look on PCO’s Cagematch to see how long his break was shows a wacky tag match in wXw in 2009 – against Mark Haskins – shortly before he took six years away. Small world, huh?
It’s t-shirt WALTER, as he realises that the giant RINGKAMPF jacket really isn’t befitting of a Spring Break. Apparently there’s a special guest referee, but WALTER gets the mic as he puts over “Carl” and offer him a chance to forfeit the match. Yeah, PCO wasn’t down with that, and we get underway!
PCO blocks a chop early as he knew WALTER’s strategy, avoiding those strikes, then a wristlock as we got some technical graps! A shoulder charge takes the Austrian to the outside, but he’s back in to barge away PCO as he was teeing up for a dive. Yeah, I sort of remember what WALTER’s views were on big guys diving… he prefers chopping them to catching them! PCO’s eager to throw back as well as we’re in a slug-fest, which led to the Earthquake sit-down splash as WALTER wasn’t in any mood for a quick finish. You know how the chops go, but it’s all too easy in WALTER’s mind, which opened the door a little for PCO to mount a comeback, only to get back body dropped to the floor!
WALTER joins him as the slugging continues in earnest, before PCO pulls a table out from under the ring. He takes long enough to set it up, and WALTER’s back to his feet, dumping him on the apron with a back suplex, before getting distracted by the ref, allowing PCO to tease a powerbomb through the table… which doesn’t come off, as WALTER clung on and goes right back to those chops.
Poor Pierre Carl Oulette’s chest.
And shoulder too, as he’s thrown into the ring steps, before ducking a chop as a tired WALTER hits the ring post instead. PCO works on the hand now, wrapping it around the post, before he flew off the top rope with a moonsault into WALTER and the ref! WALTER’s back up as he moves the table around ringside, and teases a powerbomb… putting PCO through the wood!
Somehow PCO’s busted his bridge of his nose open, but we’re without referee as a second powerbomb gets a long visual count before Bryce Remsburg sprints out for a near-fall. Two more refs sprint out like the Keystone Cops to help the downed ref, all while WALTER continues to chop away at PCO, who takes the straps down to become even scarier.
Yep. CHOP! CHOP! CHOP, and the crowd are on their feet!
The chop battle’s won by WALTER, but PCO nails a discus Shotei to take der Ringgeneral to the floor for a tope. Yikes! A tope con giro follows as PCO continued to be ridiculous, coming next with… A TOP ROPE RANA TO WALTER?! Alright everyone that’s it, I’ve seen it all now! WALTER kicked out, then folded PCO in half with a release German suplex. Holy heck.
WHAT IN THE WORLD… PCO JUST GAVE WALTER A FINLAY ROLL. Nope, NOW I’ve seen everything. Split-legged PCO moonsault keeps the jaw on the floor, but it doesn’t keep WALTER down, before a senton off the top did. Good God almighty, this may not have been crisp, but PCO should not be able to even consider half of the stuff he pulled off… let alone hit it! A low key banger that you’ll still be shocked about in the years to come. ****¼
Post-match, WALTER and PCO absorbed the crowd’s adulation, before they chopped each other one last time and shook hands. You know, if WALTER got some tattoos, he could be a clone of PCO in a couple of decades…
GCW Championship: Penta el 0 M vs. Nick Gage (c)
This is going to be a war… just saying!
Gage knocked Penta to the outside early on, but he’s instantly whacked in the head as Penta had a chair to stop his dive. Game plans! Another chairshot followed as the commission baiting continued, but an errant chop got Gage back in it as Penta hit the ring post before he got sent into the guard rails.
It gets worse for Gage as he took a back body drop over the guard rails, and somehow we have doors in the ring, which Gage uses as he hiptosses Penta through one, before whacking the remnants of it over his head. Standard. Penta gets a receipt, dumping Gage through a door with a death valley driver, producing a satisfying, yet sickening thud before using a remnant to smash it over his head.
They head outside as Penta places Gage onto the timekeeper’s table, before jumping onto him… as the table barely budged. Yep, that looked like it sucked. In the ring, we’ve another door as Penta dumped Gage through a makeshift table with a pumphandle driver for a near-fall, before a teased superplex ended with Gage powerbombing Penta through the door, then landing a chokebreaker for the win. A violent sprint, and really good for it. I felt sore watching this. ***¼
Question, given his reputation, why would you call out Nick Gage? To his face or otherwise?
David Starr vs. Mike Quackenbush
This is a bit of a dream match, it has to be said, and we have WALTER in on commentary. Oh man, I loved his low-key burials when he did the wXw Academy show last year, and we’re in for more of the same as WALTER instantly points out that David Starr’s never beaten him.
They keep it on the mat early, with Starr leaping into a Thesz press before rolling up Quack for a near-fall. Starr ends up running into a boot as Quack scores with an armdrag before a lucha-style roll-up ends with Starr scrambling into the ropes as the crowd applauded the change of pace. Starr cartwheels past Quackenbush, who replies with some stomps and double knees, before a lovely series where Quackenbush applied an abdominal stretch, was thrown out, and then rebounded right back into the hold. LOVELY. To counter, Starr spikes Quackenbush into the corners with some death valley drivers, annoying WALTER on commentary, as a shining wizard breaks the stream. Timely!
Quackenbush spills badly to the floor from a springboard lariat, as Starr follows in with a plancha to the floor as he’s all about the high impact stuff. After throwing Quackenbush back in the ring, Starr rejected the offer of a handshake, only to get taken into the corner as Quack roared ahead with a top rope ‘rana and a senton into Starr as Quack rolled back the years to when he was Lightning.
The Quackendriver nearly does it, but Starr’s back with a powerbomb before he teases a Product Placement, instead opting for a Northern Lights suplex for a near-fall, prompting Starr to berate the ref, and have WALTER openly call him out for “acting like a dick” who should be banned by the commission. Don’t sugar the pill WALTER!
They teased the Ilja/Bones suplex to the floor, but instead Quackenbush turns it into a tornado DDT, sending Starr outside for a tope, before a second one was caught and turned into a Cherry Mint DDT on the apron. From there, it’s a lifeless Quack who’s pulled into a Product Placement but he escapes and gets in the double armbar, before Starr escaped and blasted Quack with the Han Stansen for the win. B-E-A-utiful match. WALTER might have called it a disappointment, but this was an experience, for the fans as well as David Starr. A banger of a match that I fear may get lost in the overall wackiness of the show. ****¼
WALTER refused to say “the better man won”, which is commitment to his beliefs (or at least the long storyline)!
Post-match, Starr cut an emotional speech, calling Quackenbush the most inspirational wrestler he’s known. Cue cheers from the crowd, as Starr noted that Quack used “one of his few matches left” on him at the Spring Break. Nice.
Clusterfuck
This one went for 40 minutes – it’s a gauntlet match with pinfall, submission and over the top rope eliminations. We’re interrupted by a video from Maxwell Jacob Friedman trying to interrupt things, gatecrashing as himself and Nick Gage, before he’s locked in a cupboard. Commentary talked over the top of it, because they’re idiots. It’s bad enough that WWN haven’t figured out how to hard-wire the audio into the at-home mix.
We start off with Jimmy Lloyd and Martina, whom commentary didn’t seem to have any clue about. It’s a clusterfuck before a bell rings, all the way down to commentary breaking kayfabe with Denver Colorado! Martina gets some guys to flash their man boobs in exchange for some beads, as commentary throws more shade on David Starr for shirt folding reasons.
Entries are just at random intervals, so Orange Cassidy ambles down to the ring, just as Martina killed Lloyd with a Rainhan Maker DDT. Wheeler YUTA’s out next as the sound dies, and here’s Curt Stallion to keep the entries a-going. A neckbreaker slam’s held up for the arrival of Facade, who nails a Burning Hammer on Stallion before diving onto a pile with a rope-walk senton. There’s little reaction as this is all bleeding into each other, living up to the name. Ah, the sound’s gone weird again as Stallion is pinned from a Coast-to-Coast.
Swoggle’s out next, dumping everyone with German suplexes like a mini WALTER. Oh shit, it’s Grado next. I’d have preferred Dr. Keith! They do the “can’t German suplex Grado” spot, before Kikutaro comes out to keep up the comedy right as the Invisible Man joined the fray, much to the confusion of the clearly not clued-in commentary crew. Everyone bumps for the Invisible Man, and now I love Grado for a moment, just as the Invisible Man eliminated Kikutaro over the top rope. He makes Swoggle tap, and apparently that’s the cue for Joe Gacy to enter. Gacy nails a springboard cutter on YUTA, before Earl Cooter under his new name of Brian Idol hit the ring. Commentary has long since given up having a fuck about any of this.
Chris Dickinson appears next with a cigarette and a latex mask, entering to Real American. Everyone made the Hulk Hogan joke, which wasn’t funny to begin with, as Dickinson looked like a wacky version of Stone Cold ET. Remember him? Somehow Dickinson keeps the cigarette in his mouth as he’s sent flying, before he uses it to burn Gacy in the eye like he’s Bobby Gunns! There’s eliminations I’m missing, but what the hell. YUTA dies by way of a Pazuzu Bomb to the floor, before Dickinson unmasked and went up against Grado, pinning him after a Hulk Hogan comeback. This is so bizarre, and I’m not sure I’m anywhere near inebriated enough to enjoy this as much as they want me to.
Dan “The Beast” Severn joins the Clusterfuck next, reigniting his brawl with Dickinson from Bloodsport yesterday. Alabama Doink follows, looking like the knock off clown you’d see on all the old WWF “tribute” shows in Britwres from not too long ago, and Doink tries to square up to Severn… which goes exactly as badly as you’d think as the clown jiggled around before they broke kayfabe and openly discussed how they’d be eliminated!
Rickey Shane Page comes out as Doink and Severn walked to the back together, and the feed stutters some more to bring the sound back in sync. A DDT dumped Jimmy Lloyd, who I’d forgotten about, before Marcus Crane comes out to collective indifference… which gave way to boos as he messed up a springboard something. Aero Boy and Crazy Boy from DTU are out next as commentary’s given up again, barely acknowledging the DTU pair pinning Dickinson after a rope-hung DDT. Drew Gulak’s old WWE music hits… but it’s Rory Gulak reprising his brother’s prior gimmick. HAH!
The match stops when Nate Webb’s music hits, and we all get to sing Teenage Dirtbag as Webb wanders all around the crowd for a Sandman-like entrance. Yay! Once Wheatus is played IN FULL, Webb actually considers getting into the ring, and hits a spin-out Dominator to eliminate Gulak. Thanks for coming! Ethan Page is out next, fresh off of a tour with DDT in Japan, but commentary’s all about burying old streaming services. Maxwell Jacob Friedman is next as he finally figured a way to play his muzak theme and gatecrash the show, but he and Page eliminate the DTU boys, before turning their sights on each other… Ethan has some help from “relative” Rickey Shane, albeit briefly, as Ethan rolled up his relation for the elimination.
Martina’s back in as Page and MJF gladhand each other, and she’s got Mr. Durexo again, with Ethan taking it before MJF’s caught in a Flap Trap. A roll-up from Page eliminates Martina, and hey, Orange Cassidy’s back with his STRONG STYLE OFFENCE! The crowd are going wild for these strikes, before he motions for a double chokeslam. Yeah, right. It actually happens this time, after Cassidy sprayed them with orange juice, before he went up top… and fell, allowing for the easy pin for MJF and Page. Boo. The Invisible Man’s back and goes to town on the bad guys, before Jimmy Lloyd goes for a double-underhook piledriver… and gets thrown out by the Commissioner for it! HAH!
In the aisle, everyone misses Lloyd getting attacked by someone’s crutch, before Page and MJF antagonise referee Bryce Remsburg and pay for it as MJF eats a slam, and Page a tornado DDT. What in the world?! MJF returns to kick Bryce low and hit a pumphandle Angle slam, and all of a sudden Beck’s Loser plays….
Soy, una perdador… I’m a loser baby… IT’S MIKEY WHIPWRECK!
Whipwreck spikes MJF with a ‘rana, before getting wiped out by MJF’s back elbow as the bad guys were back on top. A whippersnapper and something from Webb gets rid of Page, before Mikey heads up top for a super whippersnapper, only for MJF to shove him down and nail a big splash for the pin. MJF throws Nate Webb to the outside, but there’s still someone left: the Invisible Man is back and rolls up MJF for the win as Ethan Page was way too late for the save.
This was long, but it lived up to it’s name, that’s for sure. As far as how you rate it… I’ll just shrug my shoulders and say “make sure you’ve had a drink of two before you even consider this”!
It’s nearly 3am in New Orleans, and it’s main event time… but first, a trailer that the WWN crew couldn’t patch threw into the live feed. Which meant we had commentary trampling all over this again.
Joey Janela vs. Great Sasuke
Oh God, there’s no time limit… but I do love Janela’s name-plate here.
The VOD skips after Janela punched out Frank the Clown at ringside, and we join the action somewhere in the feeling out process as Janela tried to work over Sasuke’s arm. Sasuke rebounds from a series of pump kicks, kipping up into a seated position, before he hypnotised the Bad Boy into spiking himself on his head! Sasuke heads under the ring and brings out all the plunder – ladders, baking trays, and a load of streamers that fans threw earlier… which obviously lead to Sasuke getting thrown into said ladder. The timekeeper’s table is used again, with Sasuke placed onto it… but he pops right up and press slams Joey onto the table as yet again we find out the ringside table… is Japanese.
Altogether now – I am the table!
Back inside, Janela’s choked onto a ladder, before Sasuke somehow misses a senton and comes up WEARING THE LADDER. Sweet Jesus… Janela, of course, followed up with an inflatable-alligator-assisted splash for a near-fall, before setting up a row of chairs back-to-back… only for Sasuke to stop what he had planned and powerbombed him onto the apexes. SO. MUCH. NOPE.
Sasuke followed up by grabbing the remnants of the doors from earlier in the night, and finds some unused ones too as he whacks a door against Janela’s head, before Joey whipped him into another door in the corner. The receipt comes when Sasuke whipped Janela hard into the corner, forcing him to cannonball through another door, returning favour with a Cornette Driver – which turned out to be a neckbreaker slam onto the apron.
Janela grabs a chair and finally snaps the timekeeper’s table with it, before putting Sasuke into the chair for a cannonball off the top… and of course Sasuke moves. Joey must hate his body! Sasuke has trouble setting up a table, but he eventually puts Janela on it before a flip plancha put the Bad Boy through the wood. You can tell the crowd’s working on fumes here as that got barely a cheer. Penelope Ford comes into try and seduce Sasuke, but it’s rudely interrupted when Janela comes back with a rolling elbow, before working his way into a Figure Four. Some chairshots follow once Sasuke made the ropes, before Janela missed a moonsault off the top, allowing Sasuke to head out for another table. Are we finally going to get a Sasuke special?
Everyone in the venue looks and sounds exhausted, not helped with Sasuke wrestling with a broken table. He grabs a bin, and we get GIF material as he tries to wear the bin on his head… deciding just to toss it down to Janela below before a senton sees him bounce off the table. That’s almost the finish, but Sasuke kicked out, because there’s more as Janela sets up a ladder and uses it to dump Sasuke on with a Michinoku driver.
That’s not enough… so Janela stomps a chair through him, and that’s your lot. Bloody hell. This was a touch longer than it perhaps ought to be, but my word, this was a plunderiffic war. **¾
Spring Break 2 could have been the proverbial “difficult second album”, but while the atmosphere wasn’t quite at the same peaks as last year’s show, the in-ring was miles above last year. It’s clear that Joey Janela’s ‘Mania supercard formula is working where so many others are flopping hard.
Even if the late start and the constant highs meant that the crowd were spent long before the end, as long as Joey and GCW are able to pull out wacky, what-the-hell-are-those dream matches, this product has legs. There’s absolutely no reason Spring Break cannot be the indy scene’s equivalent of the “Raw after Mania”, or the weekend’s equivalent of New Japan’s New Year Dash!