We’re back for another double-header of the FWA, as their tournament to crown a new champion continued.

Episode five starts with Kappo Khan in the ring addressing the beatdown he took from the New Breed a few weeks ago. Or as he called them “Bash and Perv, the Inbreed”. We get a split-second of FanCam footage here-and-there for no clear reason, with the end story of this being that Khan’s going to be introducing a new team to challenge the FWA tag titles.

Alex Shane vs. “Solid Gold” Scott Parker is on the show this week, in a tournament semi-final, and we get flashbacks to last month as Parker beat Guy Thunder, along with the post-match beat-down by Doug Williams… which leads us into the match itself, as Parker’s ribs are all taped up.

We’ve still got some cross-talk that’s left over from the re-dubbed commentary that we alluded to on previous shows.

FWA British Heavyweight Championship Tournament, Semi Final: Scott Parker vs. Alex Shane
Parker and Shane will be sans female valets for this match, yet Shane is keeping his bouncers. There’s a real air of Triple H around Shane, in that he seems to be the only person in the group who gets much of an entrance (as in “lengthy to the point where he has a pose that ties in to his theme). He even does the “let’s get ready to…” line, just like Hunter did back in the DX days. Insert extra comparisons here, folks!

When the match gets underway after the “yay/boo” poses for the crowd, Shane’s attacked Parker from behind, only to be taken down by a crossbody for a near-fall. A series of armdrags follow, as does a drop toe-hold and an atomic drop, before Shane’s dropkicked to the outside. Parker leaps over the top rope with a plancha into Shane, who eventually returns to the ring to take a slam from Parker.

A standing moonsault gets Parker a near-fall, but Shane rolls into the corner and jabs the ropes to crotch Parker. That Shane-sation kick over the top rope knocks Parker to the floor, before Shane grabs a chair and uses it on the back of Parker. Parker backdrops out of a powerbomb attempt, and they end up fighting through the curtain for some reason. They don’t take a camera there, but we do hear some chairshots, before Shane returns with a chair across his head. Parker’s climbed up to the balcony and we get a dive off the balcony onto Shane and his security guys underneath – looking like a 12-15ft drop.

Parker crawls back into the ring, as does Shane, and they quickly take each other down with a double clothesline, a move that ended up nearly getting a double-pin. They trade shots, before Parker lands an enziguiri, only for Shane to roll away from a moonsault. A choke-bomb from Shane gets a near-fall, before we get a ref bump as Parker whips Shane into him.

Of course, we get a visual pin, but there’s no referee… and Shane pops straight back up and sends Parker to the outside, where his security immediately mugs him. Guy Thunder comes out and spears Shane as security were distracted… and that same security team quickly mess up and allow Parker to return to the ring, where Shane’s again on his feet.

Shane goes for the Show Stolen, but it’s reversed into the Golden Arrow as Parker books a slot in the final. On video, this barely touched six minutes, and I’d like to think there’s a LOT of this that was edited out… **½

A lot of that match featured “move, pop right back up” selling, which fit in with the high-speed action of the time. I’d like to think that live, this was at least a few minutes longer and they just edited out the selling… but to see things like a stage dive and guys popping straight back up from finishers is just maddening.

After commercials, we return to the ring to see the New Breed with a microphone in hand. Curve invites Kappo Khan’s mystery team to the ring, before Ashe announces that this is “Breed Rules” – a no DQ, no count-outs. Khan appears and introduces his team: La Familia.

FWA Tag Team Championship: New Breed (Ashe & Curve) (c) vs. La Familia (Jorge Castano & Alex Castano)
Billed as Columbian brothers, la Familia started out by being dropkicked off the apron as the Breed took the fight into the aisle. This gets hard to follow as Ashe and Alex in the ring just about pull off a headscissors takedown for a near-fall, whilst Jorge and Curve ended up in the crowd.

Curve drops an elbow off the stage into a table, but the table didn’t break so Jorge ended up taking the brunt of that move, as we see Alex Castano hit an Asai moonsault on Ashe in the aisle. Back in the ring, Curve cuts off a superplex on Ashe, before grabbing a chair and drops Jorge with a series of unprotected chairshots for a near-fall.

Ashe hits a Rob Van Dam-esque legdrop onto a prone Alex Castano as he was draped across the guard rail, whilst Curve dropped Jorge with a piledriver onto a chair for a near-fall. Alex gets whipped into the guard rails as the Breed double-team Jorge, before a bit of fancam footage just about gets us through an awkward double-team powerbomb.

On the outside, we see Jorge Castano with a chair, before Alex connected with a chairshot to Curve. A double underhook suplex gets Alex a near-fall, before Curve decides to suplex Jorge back into the ring off the apron. The Breed set up Jorge for the Van Breedinator (aka the Lynchpin or the Coast to Coast dropkick), but Kappo Khan interferes, and after the Castanos land a double-team reverse neckbreaker, we get new tag team champions. *½

This suffered from exactly the same problems as the first match – too many spots in too little time, which means that nothing sunk in. They continued after the match by suplexing the Breed, and using more chairshots… and so ends the episode. Two rushed matches that suffered because of it.

Episode six is centred on the FWA tournament final, but first, we’ve got a match for a shot at the FWA tag titles down the line. As Mark Sloan makes his intro, the show is interrupted by “Breed TV”, with a despondent Ashe and Curve. They’re so upset at losing the tag titles that they still find time to play with their wrestling figures to enact their last match.

Mark Sloan vs. Paul Travell
With the out-of-order editing, this is the second of three times these guys were on this card… to be fair, the crowd weren’t dead for them, which had to be a good sign.

They start with a tie-up, with Sloan dropping Travell with a wristlock, only for the tables to be turned quickly. A trade of armdrags sees Sloan land on his head, before being taken to the outside, where Travell kicks him in the head . Sloan replies with a series of chops as Travell went around the ring, before Travell was thrown back in the ring… where he decided to throw himself back outside with a plancha.

After returning to the ring, Travell lands a suplex on Sloan before slowly climbing to the top rope… where he’s crotched by Sloan, who gets a superplex instead. Slone keeps up the pressure by slamming Travell, but after an elbow drop Travell pulls himself up to the top rope and lands a missile dropkick. Travell connects with spinebuster for a near-fall as Sloan got his foot on the ropes, before he got kicked low by his opponent. Sloane capitalised by dragging Travell back in with a suplex, as a slingshot senton earned another two-count. They end up outside again as Sloan throws Travell out, before he goes to taunt someone in the crowd, and that gives Travell enough time to recover.

Sloan rushes in with a superkick – called a Speci-kick here – for a near-fall, before Travell backdrops out of a powerbomb attempt. Sloan catches a kick then lands an inverted atomic drop, but Travell quickly recovers and hits a leg lariat, then a T-bone suplex, before going up top for a big splash for the win. A decent match, which somehow earned pyro from the ringposts for Travell, but you could tell that selling was something not on the agenda here. **

We see Victoria Demonfort backstage with the FWA title belt – our tournament final is next!

After commercial, Victoria (as she’s now known, they dropped the surname, even though her website is plugged, with the correct spelling!) appears in front of the crowd with that hideous “Get Me the Commissioner” theme music. Victoria’s playing a heel commissioner, and if you weren’t sure of the time frame we were in… well, it’s 2001 and the crowd’s chanting “we want puppies”. Yep, this hasn’t aged well.

Victoria demands that the crowd shows her respect, which gets someone in the crowd to chant “do our dishes”. Jesus Christ, were wrestling fans really so stuck in the past then? The promo continues as Victoria admonishes the crowd for drooling over her, and we’re still stuck on page one of the generic heel promo work. All the while, our prestigious tournament final to crown a new champion is getting less and less time… under 10 minutes, at this point.

Finally, Victoria announces the challengers for the title match, but Doug Williams is literally right behind him, and attacks him in the aisle. How did Scott not hear him that close??

FWA British Heavyweight Championship Tournament Final: Scott Parker vs. Doug Williams
From the jump start, they fight in the aisle as Williams throws Parker into the crowd barrier, then into the ring. Williams tries a crossbody to send both men to the outside, but Parker doesn’t move, as Doug sends himself to the floor… as Victoria insists on announcing Williams’ entrance.

A back elbow from Williams takes down Parker, as Doug then sets up for a bow-and-arrow lock in a bid to force a submission from “Solid Gold”. Parker makes the ropes, then avoids a corner charge from Williams, who quickly went back to targeting those ribs with an abdominal stretch with some added clubbing forearms.

Williams drives Parker with a powerbomb for a near-fall, as the unravelling tape made it look like the Anarchist was dismantling a mummy. The tape’s used to choke Parker, who’s then placed in the Tree of Woe and becomes an unwilling recipient of a pair of running knees to the midsection.

As they exited the ring, commentator Mark Priest advises us here that title can’t be won on a count-out or disqualification – which makes me hope to see this crowd get confused by a count-out finish… wait, that’d be what they’d do in 2017 to keep this going, right? Williams grabs a chair anyway and hits Parker on the back, but there’s no DQ, and instead the match continues as the last of Parker’s tape drops off of him.

Williams suplexes Parker into the ring, then lands a Quebrada for a near-fall. A second Quebrada also gets a near-fall, but a third gets Parker’s knees in Williams’ midsection, as “Solid Gold” fires back… only to miss a corner charge. A pendulum backbreaker takes down Parker, as Angel gets onto the apron for no reason… Doug decides to kiss her, and falls back into a pratfall as Parker schoolboys him for a two-count.

Doug stays on top with a bodyslam, then goes up top for the Bomb Scare knee-drop, except Parker crotches him on the top rope and tries for a superplex. That move succeeds, but only gets him a near-fall, as Williams hits the Revolution swinging DDT out of nowhere for the win. A decent tournament final given they barely had eight minutes, but at least they had a good worker in there. ***

Literally as soon as the ring bell well, Poochie… I mean Alex Shane… returned and entered the ring. Shane insisted on giving Williams the title belt, as he then went to beat down Parker after the match, using the One Night Stand for added punishment. Add 2001 Triple H comparison here folks…

Guy Thunder came out to make the save – long after Parker had been dispatched – with a double spear knocking down Shane and the new champion. Except both of them rolled to the outside and got back up as if nothing had happened as the show crashed to an end.

Well, we’re about halfway through the FWA’s TV run, and in hindsight, it’s blindingly clear that this format just didn’t work. Very few of the matches hold up, largely because of the time restraints, but at least they didn’t go down the UWA route of having several guys on the show who clearly can’t work. Instead, they just had one who was mis-cast as a heel who seemingly wrestled as a babyface. Sorry, Alex…

Next week: we take a look at the next pair of episodes, as Paul Travell gets his tag title shot, and Alex Shane gets his shot at Guy Thunder.