We’re dipping into the Powerbomb.tv archives for another random US indy – Forza Lucha!
The card’s got a lot of CHIKARA names on it, which may tip you off as to what sort of crowd to expect. We open with a guy called Eric Corvis. He’s apparently the commissioner of Forza Lucha, and he’s bragging about sponsorships… before Chuck Taylor, Orange Cassidy and John Silver crash. They’re complaining about it being too hot for them to fight… and they want some women to get them beers instead.
We’re in a parking lot somewhere in Newark, New Jersey on a summer’s afternoon for this show. Commentary’s being done by a pair called the Heavenly Bodcast… and we’re opening with Bobby Roode’s music? Someone on commentary’s singing it, and for whatever reason the aspect ratio changes as they add and remove graphics. This is already annoying me, but hey, this is a charity show, so I shouldn’t complain too much. Apparently every match and wrestler has been sponsored today, but fortunately they don’t rattle through every single one. Corvis gets introduced so he can break some bad news as some folks had to drop off the card… including an opponent for the Forza Lucha Cup, which means Matt Macintosh gets a mystery replacement:
Forza Lucha Cup – Semi-Final: Matt Macintosh vs. Kip Stevens
Macintosh is wearing a New York City FC shirt – apparently this show is in an area where Red Bull New York have a stronger fan base. Never thought I’d be referencing football references from this show, but here we are…
We’ve seen Stevens on a Beyond Wrestling show in a comedy match, and commentary isn’t portraying this as a fair fight. Macintosh is more worried about his shirt than his match, and he suggests that Stevens throw the match rather than get in a fight. Of course it’s a ruse as Stevens gets up and schoolboys Matt for a near-fall as he tries for the upset, but a chop block to the knee quickly turns things around.
A shinbreaker puts Stevens down, and we’re quickly in quasi-competitive 1990s squash match territory. Another comeback from Stevens sees him hit a front suplex, before missing a leap off the top rope, allowing Macintosh to hit a flapjack and a leg grapevine for the submission. A glorified squash match, which is what you expected here. *½
Forza Lucha Cup – Semi-Final: Worker Ant vs. Silver Ant
Apparently we’ve got three semis – so a three-way final? It’s a battle of the Ants for this one, and despite looking forward to this match, commentary’s shocked that it’s happening.
I would not be shocked if these weren’t the real Ants, and they kept things on the mat early as they traded holds. Silver Ant forces the issue as he worked over Worker Ant’s legs with an Indian deathlock, only for Worker to get free and mount a comeback, landing a neckbreaker for a near-fall.
Silver comes back with chops, before a springboard lucha armdrag led to a roll through for some back-and-forth covers, eventually resulting in a three-count for Silver Ant! Pretty basic stuff, but what they did here was fine – it’s the first round of a tournament on a charity show, you’d not going to get world-beating wrestling here! **¼
Straight after the bell, Matt Macintosh hit the ring and worked over Silver Ant’s legs. Worker Ant makes the save, but Matt stood tall at the end.
From there we cut to somewhere backstage, with a guy going through papers. I wonder if that bottle of vodka is a warning for this show? Three guys outside are arguing, and it seems they have papers too – a contract for a match that’s happening now. That segment quickly went off the rails… before going back on them as one of the guys came back for a handily-placed axe.
Dan Champion Memorial Big Man Match: Chris Seaton vs. Craig Steele vs. Oleg The Usurper vs. CPA
I like matches that do what they say on the tin! Craig Steele is apparently a big deal. Which means he has a Badd Blaster that shoots out Monopoly money. CPA is a modern day version of IRS, played for gags.
He’s also the smallest man in the match, by a considerable margin. CPA spends the start of the match crawling between the legs of everyone else, and generally avoiding the big guys. Oleg and Seaton trade right hands before CPA sidesteps some avalanches from Steele in the corners. The gags continue as CPA tries to give German suplexes out, and yes, he’s kicked away.
Oleg gets sent to the outside, where he’s dived onto by Seaton who seems to love hot tarmac… still in the ring is CPA, who then steals the win by flopping onto Steele, who was still down from a double chokeslam. The crowd booed that, and to be honest I’m inclined to join them. Played for the laughs, but didn’t create many. ¼*
Forza Lucha Cup – Semi-Final: Frightmare vs. Officer Warren Barksdale
It’s so hot, Frightmare makes a beeline for a bottle of water to pour over his head. Not a good day to be a masked guy, I guess.
Barksdale seems to be playing the bad guy, blowing his whistle at the crowd, and threatening to ticket them for not cheering him. The Officer tries to shove Frightmare at the bell, but he quickly gets dragged down in a guillotine as the pair scrapped to begin with. It’s not pretty stuff, as Barksdale takes a spill to the outside, where he gets distracted by some of the money that Steele shot out of his gun earlier.
Back inside, Barksdale chokes Frightmare in the ropes, then followed him into the corner for a Miz-style clothesline. A second one misses as Frightmare mounted a comeback, hitting a half-nelson driver for a near-fall that the ref hit the mat three times on – fooling the time keeper into ringing the bell. Seconds later, a crucifix does the job though, and Frightmare makes it to the final. Decent stuff, but this started out rough. **
Yup, Matt Macintosh attacks Frightmare after the match, and gets some help from Barksdale. So Matt’s going to the final fresh with two worn down opponents.
Nicholas Kaye vs. Brandon Kirk
Before the bell rings, the Forza Lucha commissioner has a story to tell – about WWF No Mercy on the Nintendo 64, and how Kaye and Kirk fought in a video game, and that transposed into a wrestling match. They want to make it mean “a little bit more”, so the commissioner makes it a no DQ match.
Kirk unloaded on Kaye early, quickly splatting him with a pounce that sent Kaye to the outside. Kaye grabs some pie dishes in from under the ring, along with some other plunder, including a replica title belt. Kaye declared himself the No Mercy champion. The commissioner forces him to defend it, and as they’re arguing over the name, Kirk rolls him up and wins the No Mercy/Hipster Craft Beer title.
It becomes a 24/7 gimmick, I guess, as the ref rolls up Kirk to win the belt… so Jimmy Storm’s got the replica belt, then gets superkicked by Kirk. Kaye makes the cover and regains the belt, before Kirk throws him outside, and we resume…
Hipster Craft Beer Championship: Nicholas Kaye (c) vs. Brandon Kirk
Kaye DDTs Kirk on a handily-place piece of lawn, the drags him on it to give some garden burn. More plunder comes into play as a plastic axe is dragged out, but Kirk hits Kaye with a tiki torch, using it like a Kendo stick on his back.
Back inside, Kirk misses a cannonball, crashing into a chair, before a top rope clothesline earned Kaye a near-fall. They wreck a chair as a sidewalk slam dumps Kaye through the furniture, before the champ gets a pizza dish smashed onto his head.
There’s more plunder in the form of a bag of tacks from Kirk, but Kaye avoids a superplex and eventually pulls off a sunset bomb into the pins for the win. *¾
Darius Carter & Juan Francisco de Coronado vs. Team Espana (Jos A & Jos B)
Carter bills himself as “Wrestling’s Richest Prize”. He’s also had a lot more names thrown at him by folks in British wrestling after a match he had with Pete Dunne in 2017…
Team Espana are wrestling footballers, playing up Forza Lucha’s love of football… and they’re a living dad joke. There’s a Charlie Brown pratfall early for Juan Francisco de Coronado, which angers Carter, who gets yellow carded. You know what we’re in for here folks…
After the football-base offence stopped working, Carter and Franciso target the Spaniards, with Darius almost getting the win with a knee trembler. Despite being a makeshift team, Darius and Juan looked a million miles ahead of the Joses, and ended up getting the win when Carter hit a Codebreaker. Basic stuff, and probably one of the better things on the show so far. **
Gentleman’s Club Silver Edition (Chuck Taylor, Orange Cassidy & Johnny Silver) vs. Hellen Vale, Vanity & Terra Callaway
This was the comeback from the Gentleman’s Club’s request to not wrestle. Instead, they got “Ladies’ Night” – trios intergender action.
The longest match of the night, but with the folks involved, of course there’s shtick here. Cassidy tries to hit on Callaway, but she chops him instead, and he walks out in a mood. A sneaky chop doesn’t work, as they just bounce off of Terra, and let’s just say this crowd has a subtlety hammer handy. Chuck Taylor gets scared of some hiptosses and makes a run for it, before Silver has to kick out of several roll-up attempts from Vale. It’s almost like the Gentleman’s Club were going easy on them… and Silver thought that’d impressed Vale enough for him to propose to her. Yeah, it doesn’t work, so he superkicks her.
That may have been an over-reaction to rejection…
The Gentleman’s Club works over Vale, with Taylor trying for a submission out of a backbreaker, before Cassidy tries to kiss her. It doesn’t work, as he gets one of his team-mates, making him think “I’m gay now”. Even played for comedy, I shake my head… The women make a comeback, with Cassidy hitting a low blow and celebrating like it worked. Vanity teaches him it doesn’t work like that, dropkicking Chuck Taylor into a cornered Cassidy for a strange take on Shattered Dreams. The nut shots follow, before Vale hits a nice pop-up ‘rana to Taylor. Cassidy thought he’d take advantage of things by hitting a dive, but he changes his mind… and earns himself a uranage as Callaway scored the win.
It’s strange how this charity show has veered so far off of “family friendly” territory – from having CHIKARA guys to a hardcore match to whatever this was on the same card. Not a train wreck, but this was a match that just stuttered all over the place. **
The light’s fading, and apparently we’re not getting the cup presentation here as Matt Macintosh has apparently wiped out the other finalists. They invite him out anyway for a rather disingenuous parade, but the commissioner’s not giving him a bye… and we have a final anyway.
Forza Lucha Cup – Final: Matt Macintosh vs. Silver Ant
Despite being attacked earlier, Ant comes out and takes Macintosh into the crowd, sending the evilton scurrying for cover. Some kicks come into the play, with one legitimately kicking Matt low. Well, he deserved it.
Finally in the ring, Macintosh sweeps the leg and goes to work on Ant’s legs, but that doesn’t stop the Colony member from flying with a slingshot senton into the ring for a near-fall. Macintosh hits a slam before going up for a moonsault… which misses. Silver Ant mounts another comeback, despite the injured wheel, and gets a near-fall with a lariat out of the corner as Macintosh managed to get a leg onto the ropes.
Out of nowhere, Macintosh pulled Silver Ant in with a ripcord, then hits a Samoan driver for a near-fall, before going back to the modified Cloverleaf that he used in the first round, but this time Silver Ant makes the ropes. After getting back to his feet, Silver Ant traps Matt in a regular Texas Cloverleaf, before escaping and pushing him up into a flapjack… but Ant is able to rebound back into the Texas Cloverleaf, and Macintosh submits!
A pretty decent final stretch, relatively speaking, but this was a match that could have done with more time for the story they worked. **½
As a show, this was exactly what you’d expect going in. Some names were on the card that you wouldn’t normally expect, but this was what you could call “popcorn wrestling” – it’s happening, but it’s no big deal if you miss it. At least the show-long story was coherent – with the bad guy trying to sneak and cheat his way to the tournament win, only for a plucky (masked) good guy to overcome him in the end. This is up on Powerbomb.tv but it’s perhaps not one of the events you’ll be reaching for unless you’re genuinely picking at random.