With Built to Destroy days away, David Starr had one more hurdle to clear ahead of his title shot – a Video Store Massacre.
You know the score – the video opens with a rundown of the card for Built to Destroy, then they roll through highlights of last week. Complete with some curious dubbing as Nathan Cruz’s promo was replayed, but masked by the background music. Dave Bradshaw and James R. Kennedy are on commentary.
Anti-Fun Police (No Fun Dunne & Los Federales Santos) vs. Dynamic Duo (Mark Billington & Thomas Billington)
The Dynamic Duo finally have something resembling gear, rather than Lonsdale’s finest stretchy jogging bottoms.
The early going sees Mark Billington restrain Dunne with a toe hold, but it ended in the ropes before Mark threw a slap and made a tag as the Billingtons had Dunne on the ropes. A German suplex folded up the No Fun champion for a near-fall, before Dunne mounted a comeback.
Thomas is back with a clothesline and a leaping tombstone, before he did the Bad Bones suplex from the ring to the floor. What the actual hell? That’s followed up with an attempt at a swandive headbutt, but Dunne clocks Thomas with the No Fun Belt before Santos came in for an assisted powerbomb for the win. The crowd’s silence told it all here, I’m afraid. Nothing spectacular, but I liked how Dunne was able to shut down the Billingtons in short order. **
Post-match, Dunne called the match a formality, then told “Howard” (Drake) that he’d struggle to beat him, and that he’d be “Dunne-ahhh”.
Backstage, Conor Renshaw’s asked about what happened last week. He’s still convinced Benji actually used the briefcase last week. Does nobody here watch their own show? Rather than challenge him, the interviewer walks out…
After James R. Kennedy scribbles “Simon Miller Sucks” on a notepad, we cut to the end of one of Simon’s videos from last week, where he challenged Nathan Cruz to an “Ups and Downs” match. It’s basically a 15-minute Iron Man match, with points for pinfalls and for throwing your opponent over the top rope. To contradict Steve Austin, there needs to be a little more bass in Simon’s voice…
Chris Brookes vs. Laura di Matteo
This was built up a few weeks back when Brookes got in di Matteo’s face – yet Chris was taking this match as a slap in the face. Even though he was the one who issued the challenge?
The size difference was causing di Matteo issues from the off as Brookes easily picked her up and walked to the ropes to break a side headlock. Thing was being smaller was also a good thing, as Brookes’ standard clotheslines went above Laura, before he dragged her to the outside and tied her into the ropes a la SANADA. It remained one sided as Brookes dropped di Matteo on the edge of the ring, before he began to stretch her back inside.
A snap suplex gets a near-fall, but Laura manages to get back in with headscissors and a tope. Laura took too long with her follow-up though and gets chopped, before she caught Brookes out of the corner with a powerbomb ahead of the Veni, Vidi, Vici grounded Octopus… that he stood up out of and swung into a facebuster for a near-fall. Brookes tries to end di Matteo with an apron Praying Mantis Bomb, but instead a snap German suplex and a brainbuster back inside had the Italian on the back foot, only for it to not get the W. A roll-up from Laura nearly got the upset, before she got rocked with a back elbow… she returns with a springboard Destroyer (?!) for a near-fall, before she rolled Brookes into the Veni, Vidi, Vici for the submission. Mark that one down for an upset, and one that Newcastle seemed to be pretty pleased for. ***
Post-match, Brookes ranted at the commentary team and “quit”. I’m sure the swimming pools of Japan would have been more bearable than the reported heat in the venue!
Backstage, Nathan Cruz in wacky suspenders is blowing off the “Ups and Down Match”, but reckons he’ll win it because of his experience. Cruz promises he’ll repeat what he did at the Ringmaster tournament last year…
They run through the card for Built to Destroy:
Man Like Dereiss vs. Lucky Kid
Ups and Downs Match: Nathan Cruz vs. Simon Miller
Defiant Tag Team Championship: Benji & Visage vs. South Coast Connection (Ashley Dunn & Kelly Sixx) (c)
Defiant Internet Championship: Joe Hendry vs. Martin Kirby (c)
No Fun Championship: Drake vs. No Fun Dunne (c)
Last Woman Standing for Defiant Women’s Championship: Lana Austin vs. Lizzy Styles (c)
Defiant World Championship: David Starr vs. Rampage (c)
That starts at 7pm BST on Saturday June 29th for those wanting to watch live…
Video Store Massacre: Rory Coyle vs. David Starr
This can only end by pinfall, and I swear they’ve wheeled out the casket that 3CW used last year in their own casket match between Ligero and Dara Diablo before the promotion took a break.
Coyle slipped out of the ring so he could attack Starr as soon as he made his entrance, and we start with some brawling before Coyle seemingly tried for an apron death valley driver… only to end up charging himself into the ring post. Starr gets back in with some chair shots, before he upgraded the plastic chair for the Ikea special. Coyle uses a full nelson slam to drop Starr onto the casket, before a slam dropped Starr onto a pair of chairs on the floor… which didn’t budge one bit.They head to the ring as the match finally starts, with Coyle using the Doink false arm for clotheslines as we’re going back to 1993 Superstars!
Starr’s cartwheel kick clocks Coyle in response, before he just about scored with a Blackheart Buster for a near-fall. He then Doinks Coyle with the false arm, before he picked up some jump leads… but there’s a test of strength as the ultimate nipple torture went against Starr. At least there’s no car battery involved… After freeing his nipples, Starr chokes out Coyle with the leads, then lands some dives to the outside, before a third one was swatted away with a VCR. I swear, those charity shops around Newcastle must be being kept in business by Rory and his prop shopping. Starr’s hand gets trapped in the VCR like a toddler would by putting toast into it.
Starr tries to fight back but ends up punching the VCR then gets DDT’d on it for a near-fall, before Coyle empties out a stack of VHS tapes as he looked to drop Starr onto them… but the Dip In The Lake’s avoided… and countered with a powerbomb into the tapes, before a piledriver put away Coyle for the win. That’s Starr facing Rampage with “no outside interference” then, after a satisfying brawl. ***¼
The format of Loaded kinda precludes Defiant from ramming home every angle on their go home shows, short of recap packages and the like. Granted, this entire set of tapings struggled through a crowd that was fighting through the heat, but there’s not much feeling of buzz for the Defiant “anniversary show” this weekend. Starr/Rampage ought to be a solid match, at worst, while there are some other storylines looking likely to be getting paid off in Newcastle this weekend.
- Watch Loaded #29 on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PakA_ZXlMPo