The go-home episode for No Regrets was topped with a contract signing for Saturday’s title match. Nothing ever goes wrong at a wrestling contract signing, right…?

We open up with the usual recaps, before we’re in Prince Ameen’s office. The nameless assistant’s there as Robbie X gets his No Regrets Rumble number, a high five, and we fade to titles. We’re back at Stage 2 in Newcastle, with James Kennedy and Dave Bradshaw on commentary.

Robbie X vs. Sean Kustom
It’s a Defiant return for Kustom, who made his debut at Lights Out against Martin Kirby.

They keep each other at close quarters early, trading holds until Kustom scored with a shoulder tackle… but Robbie X kips up and hits some headscissors, only for Kustom to cartwheel away as we hit a stalemate. Kustom lands the next series of moves, with an enziguiri and a cutter getting him a near-fall, before he got caught on the apron with a springboard dropkick. Robbie follows him outside for some chops, throwing him back in for a senton atomico, before Kustom hit back with forearms and an enziguiri in the corner ahead of a standing uranage and a La Magistral cradle for a near-fall. A chop to the chest takes Robbie down again, only for Robbie to hit back with a missile dropkick as the momentum continued to waver.

Kustom rolls onto the apron, where he’s met with a handstand kick to knock him to the floor ahead of a tope into the entry way. A 619-like kick keeps Kustom down, before Robbie returned to the ring for a running shooting star press that almost ends it. An uppercut from Kustom keeps Robbie on the top rope ahead of a superplex attempt… but Robbie blocks a top rope rana and instead leaps down, catching Kustom awkwardly on the landing.

From there, a superkick and a sit-out powerbomb from Kustom gets a near-fall, before the Aussie went up for a frog splash that earned him a delayed two-count. Robbie X fights out of a pumphandle, landing an enziguiri before a half nelson suplex takes Kustom into the corner… as does an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, as we’re still racking up those near-falls. Kustom avoids a top rope splash from Robbie, then an X-clamation before he got caught with a small package for the win. A fun opener, with the crowd starting to get into Kustom… although I’d like to see this again with the crowd being more invested in both men. ***¼

Post-match, Kustom gets the mic and puts over Robbie, before asking for a rematch “next week”.

Backstage, Nathan Cruz gets his No Regrets Rumble number, then flicks the paper at General Ameen. Adam Foster draws one too, behind Ameen’s back, and he seems happier with his luck.

Simon Miller comes out for promo time, in which he addresses No Regrets. A year ago, Miller debuted in the No Regrets Rumble, to which one fan in the crowd could be heard complaining that it wasn’t in Newcastle this year. That segues to Miller challenging John Klinger for No Regrets, before Miller joined commentary.

Drake vs. John Klinger
This was a hardcore match, set as “punishment” for Drake. At least he had the sense to come with a chair…

But first, Chief Deputy Dunne addresses “Howard Thomas Drake” (hey, now we know what HT stands for!), blaming him before saying that after this, all will be well again. A section of the crowd tried to bay for Klinger to kill Drake… something that was more likely when Dunne told Drake he couldn’t use weapons because they were “too much fun”. Drake lands the first blow with a springboard crossbody, before he was taken down with a knee to the midsection. The match heads outside, where Drake throws Klinger into the apron, before Klinger just threw a chair at him and picked up a two-count from it.

More chairshots follow as Klinger wore down Drake with a chair, before the local lad made a comeback and teased using a chair… only to boot Klinger down for a near-fall. A release German suplex from Klinger sends Drake sailing to the outside ahead of a double axehandle off the top to the floor, leaving Drake down and out. The crowd calls for tables, but instead Klinger pulls out a rubber mallet as he does his best Triple H impression and uses it on Drake.

It’s back to the chairs as Drake’s beaten down, with the mallet being used a game as Klinger played a game of Whack-a-Drake. Klinger stops to scream at Simon Miller on commentary, and that gave Drake enough time to recover from some of the mallet attacks, lifting Klinger up top for a superplex, only to be shoved down into a chair that Klinger missile dropkicks him out of. Yet again, Klinger uses the chair, with Drake doing his best Tommy Dreamer as he asks for chairshots… before one to the back of the head sent him down. The camera shows Dunne being a little conflicted as Klinger hit the death blow, and that was all as Klinger won the one-sided hardcore match. **

Post-match, Dunne tells Drake he’s proven himself… but Drake just attacks him as Klinger and the Anti-Fun Police beat him down. Well, in the past, Klinger was paid off by Dunne… but Miller saves Drake from any further attack, shoving Klinger off the top before taking care of Dunne and Santos.

Backstage, Visage is with Benji… asking him to be careful with Conor Renshaw because of Renshaw’s cheating ways. In comes Conor, still in black and white, as conversation ground to a halt. Visage left, as Renshaw suggests that Benji cash in his briefcase to get a tag title shot… but Benji wants another match for Conor to prove himself.

Natalie Sykes vs. Lizzy Styles
This is non-title, since Styles is defending against Lana Austin at No Regrets next week.

Styles jumped into Sykes from the off, putting the boots to her before the Leeds native surprised her with a lucha roll-up for a near-fall. A clothesline put Sykes back in her place, following up with a suplex for a two-count as Styles broke her own count. There’s a running forearm to a cornered Sykes, who then went for a bulldog, only to get pulled into a splits ahead of a kick to the head for the win. Squash.

They run down the card for No Regrets:

David Starr vs. Gabriel Kidd – winner enters the rumble at 30, loser enters at 1
Defiant Women’s Championship: Lana Austin vs. Lizzy Styles (c)
Simon Miller vs. John Klinger
Defiant Tag Team Championship: Team Whitewolf vs. South Coast Connection (c)
Defiant World Championship: Mark Haskins vs. Rampage (c)
No Regrets Rumble

Our main event segment is the contract signing for the Haskins/Rampage match. General Ameen introduced challenger and champion, who were accompanied by Vicki Haskins and Rory Coyle respectively. Ameen calls Haskins the only “unsigned talent to have won at Wembley Arena and Madison Square Garden”, which is a bit of a dig at that ROH contract that Haskins has.

The contracts are signed pretty quickly, and then all hell begins to break loose as Haskins cuts a promo on Rampage, telling him that he let Rory Coyle change him. Haskins says that he’ll even fight at Lake Ulaid to win the title… perhaps he’ll find Bás Bán there? Rampage responds by holding his belt in Haskins face before Rampage and Coyle left.

Of course it was a ruse, they storm back as Haskins played to the crowd, having his back to the entry way. A piledriver lays out Haskins, while Ameen’s choked out with car jumper cables. Vicki Haskins shoves a chair out of the ring for some reason, having not used her barbed wire bat, and of course, losing the weaponry put Vicki in bigger trouble. Mark Haskins gets handcuffed to the ropes as they teased piledriving Vicki, all while Rory Coyle videoed it. I bet his handicam footage was better quality than some indys. Haskins broke free of the handcuffs, but couldn’t stop Vicki from taking a piledriver as the Haskins were left in the ring to close the show.

As a go home episode, this was fine… but really only the main event angle built up anything major for No Regrets. Kustom vs. Robbie X was a solid opener, and looks to be on the No Regrets pre-show for Loaded next week, while Martin Kirby and his Internet title is conspicuous by its absence on the upcoming PPV.