CHIKARA’s Grand Championship was on the line yet again as that secret season rolled towards it’s eventual conclusion…
We start with a callback to some prior episodes, with Ophidian, Fire Ant and Obariyon sitting in the bleachers at the WrestleFactory. They’re still wanting to work together, but if they want to be called the Furies, they “need to understand the true meaning of vengeance”. Cue Icarus in a trenchcoat for some reason, and now the titles and but there’s no full-on intro for a change.
Race Jaxon vs. Ophidian
Since turning heel and splitting up N_R_G, Race Jaxon is now suddenly a narcissist. No reason… he’s also got two points going into this match, which is a curiosity.
Jaxon almost get spinned straight away as Ophidian gave him a folding backslide as Jaxon took off his t-shirt, before a series of chops saw the snake man attack Race without hitting his face. Race traps Ophidian in the ring skirt for some nonchalant forearms before returning to the ring for a Headshot (discus forearm) attempt. It’s blocked, but Jaxon manages to get a slingshot spear as the crowd continued to back the Snake Man.
Jaxon survives a scare and returns with a dropkick before deciding to ground and pound Ophidian. That came back to bite him as Ophidian threw in some more strikes, hitting a leg lariat and a pump kick to Jaxon’s precious face. A slow quebrada gets a near-fall, before an attempted dropkick in the ropes is caught with Jaxon trapping his foe upside down for another dropkick to the floor. A deadlift fisherman’s suplex gets a near-fall for Ophidian, but he misses another quebrada, then hits a wheelbarrow facebuster for another near-fall. Jaxon avoids a Meteora which turns things around, allowing him to hit the Headshot for the pin. A decent match to get Jaxon his third point for a title shot… and this was perhaps the first match he should have had after his turn. ***
Just a thought: where were Fire Ant and Obariyon? I know Ophidian’s a good guy, but some moral support lads…
Frightmare vs. Obariyon
Obariyon shoots out of the blocks with a dropkick and a powerslam to send his masked foe to the outside, but a leg sweep cuts off a plancha before Obariyon punched away Frightmare’s attempt at a dive. We finally get a dive as Obariyon lands a tope, then a suplex on the floor, only for a dive off the top to get countered with a standing dropkick from Frightmare.
A standing moonsault is the crescendo to some kicks from Frightmare, who followed up with a shotgun dropkick into the corner, then a headscissor to send Obariyon face-first into the corner. Obariyon comes back after a missed charge and nearly wins it with an inverted Go To Sleep, but a leap out of the corner’s caught and turned into a Northern Lights as Frightmare takes control again.
Obariyon responds with a pop-up knee strike after catching Frightmare off the top rope, before Hallowicked and Icarus briefly appear. Looks like Icarus stopped Hallowicked from interfering, but we barely caught it, as Obariyon finishes off with a top rope DDT for the win. It was pretty one sided, and the finish kinda clunky because of the missed camera work, but overall… it was a match. ***
Officer Warren Barksdale and his new partner Bruno Meloni are doing push-ups outside. Meloni is working out like a nutcase whilst Barksdale is dogging it. Sorry.
Before our next match, Vlad Radinov gets a full-on intro, which makes me think that this match was perhaps meant to open the show? Just weird, weird editing, but that’s been the motif for this whole season, with every match being taped like an individual segment to be strung into a series. It was bound to happen. Anyway, after two matches, we’re now kicking off with a tag team match!
Cornelius Crummels & Sonny Defarge vs. Xyberhawx 2000 (Razerhawk & Sylverhawk)
Crummels and Defarge have four points, but with current tag team champions/Campeones de Parejas Moustache Mountain nowhere to be seen… it’s a weird one. Mike Quackenbush on commentary notes that there’s plenty of challengers around, but no champions. Foreshadowing!
You know, Crummels and Defarge are playing “legitimate businessmen”, supposedly from a Victorian era, yet they have tattoos. I’m surprised CHIKARA of all companies didn’t have them cover it up. Anyway, the Xyberhawx start with a wristlock on Crummels, who breaks free by I guess wiping his nose on them, before taking a double dropkick. Defarge takes a sort-of ‘rana after Razerhawk flipped off his partner’s back, and then we get two faked-out dives from the masked men from the future.
Back in the ring, Crummels dropkicks Sylverhawk in the back, before a hotshot drags Sylverhawk neck-first on the top rope. A back body drop sends Sylverhawk flying, before Crummels and Defarge combine for a double-team back suplex/elbow drop attempt, but Razerhawk manages to get the hot tag and take down Crummels with a handspring hip attack off the ropes. The end isn’t too far though as Defarge uppercuts Sylverhawk down, before a headlock driver plants Razerhawk for the pin – and that’s now a fifth win in a row for the “legitimate businessmen” (air quotes CHIKARA’s, not mine!) A decent outing, but this was more about pushing Crummels and DeFarge than anything. **¾
Up next is Travis Huckabee, who acknowledges to us that as a referee, he was a bit of a screw-up. Now, he’s done running from bullies… but not spiders, ex’s and Aunts… Solo Darling walks by and distracts him, and that’s the cue for the next match.
Max Smashmaster vs. Travis Huckabee
Given the size difference, and how CHIKARA works, this ought to be one-sided, especially since they’re still playing Huckabee as “referee-turned-wrestler”. Huckabee tries to take down the man who is twice his size, and fails miserably. He does actually lift a boot up, before going for an armlock that Smashmaster easily pushes free of. Smashmaster’s manager, Sidney Bakabella interferes before Max slaps away at Huckabee. There’s some ground and pound here as this is a rather cocky way of doing a squash, as we’re several minutes in before a “move” is hit, with a spinebuster taking down Travis, before a pair of tombstones finish the job.
We move to a backstage promo with Heidi Lovelace who tells us about her upbringing, struggling to relate to anyone or anyone. The same happened for her in pro wrestling until she found CHIKARA. This is her last match here it seems, and “this chapter” ends how it started – against Arik Cannon – and she wants him to not pull his punches as a weird way of giving back to the fans for everything they’ve given her. This was an emotional promo from Heidi for her “final goodbye”.
Arik Cannon vs. Heidi Lovelace
They flat-out say that this is Heidi’s last match before going to WWE (and re-emerging in NXT as Ruby Riot), and throughout Mike Quackenbush’s commentary is bordering on a eulogy. She’s only going to WWE for crying out loud! We start with Heidi going all lucha with headscissor takedowns before a crossbody off the top takes down Cannon on the floor.
Back inside, Arik takes over with some slams, but he holds back and tries to get the referee to wave off the match rather than keep up the pressure. Cannon pulls back to stop himself from punching and kicking Heidi, and instead just throws in a shoulder charge in the corner… and that allowed Heidi to get back into it with forearms and chops in the corner!
Cannon snaps back with a running powerslam for a near-fall, but his offence ends when he missed another shoulder charge as Heidi mounted a flurry of her own, hitting a STO for a two-count. From there, Arik quits pulling his punches, throwing in a lariat and an Exploder, only to fall to a satellite DDT as Heidi turned the tables, following with a back senton off the top for another two-count.
The Total Anarchy – swinging rope-hung suplex – nearly wins it for Cannon, who ends up taking a Destroyer as Heidi went for her Deadly Nightshade (headscissor into the middle turnbuckle), but again Arik kicks out before the count of three. That seems to earn him a kiss, which I guess played into a storyline from before where he had a crush on her, but that just suckered Heidi into a false sense of security as an inside cradle from Arik took the win! A fun outing, but the commentary massively overplayed the farewell aspect. Subtlety and all that! ***½
Heidi and Arik hug, then we’re taken to the Closers, who tell us they’re sick of waiting for their tag title shot. Join the club.
CHIKARA Grand Championship: Wani vs. Hallowicked (c)
Wani shoots out of the blocks and enjoys the best of the early going, landing a series of hiptosses to firmly put the champion on the back foot. An elbow drop gets Wani a near-fall, but Hallowicked comes back with a step-up kick in the corner and an Iconoclasm after reversing an Irish whip from the challenger.
Hallowicked changes his mind as he looked to go for a senton, and instead he goes for an elbow drop from the mat as the champion firmly put himself in the driving seat whilst somehow finding time to jawjack with the referee. Go To Sleepy Hollow gets Hallowicked a two-count, before he goes for the senton bomb… but Wani rolls away as both men collide with simultaneous big boots.
They repeat the spot with clotheslines and eye pokes, but Wani sneaks back into things with a German suplex for a near-fall, before a TKO gets him another two-count… but you never get the feeling that Hallowicked is really in any serious danger of losing the title. Wani keeps up the pressure with a suplex from the apron for a near-fall before going for a headscissor choke… but Hallowicked slipped out and instantly went for the cross-legged DDT he calls Never Wake Up to retain. A good match, but unfortunately Wani’s status on the card meant that this match was pretty much a foregone conclusion from the off. ***
We have the show close with Vlad Radinov throwing confetti at the camera again, with the post-credits scene showing the Sea Stars still in search of a mentor. They approach Heidi Lovelace, but of course she turns them down because she’s on her way out to Florida!
A decent episode, highlighted by Heidi Lovelace’s final match for CHIKARA… and it’s well worth watching just for this match!