The road to Americanrana got a little tougher for a certain sheet writer thanks to some news on the latest episode of Beyond’s Uncharted Territory.

We’re back to the White Eagle in Worcester, Massachusetts, and we’re opening with Kris Statlander and her sparkly jacket in the ring as she was here to make an announcement about her Beyond future. She barely gets a sentence out before the Top Dogs – and new recruit Sierra – head out to interrupt. Skylar cuts a promo, but my God, the White Eagle’s acoustics make promos hard to hear when the crowd is on their back.

The crowd died down for long enough for Skylar to mention that “the galaxy’s greatest alien has a price tag”. Ooh, who signed her? Davienne calls her “puppy” Sierra over to slap Statlander, but it’s such a timid slap that the rest of the Top Dogs chewed her out. Yes, that was an intentional pun. This led to a challenge for the main event, with Kris offering Leyla Hirsch a spot from the merch table… and that’s our headliner booked for tonight!

Paul Crockett is barely audible on commentary at first alongside Sidney Bakabella.

Wheeler Yuta vs. DL Hurst
The armbar reversal that Yuta used on Chuck O’Neil last week was taught to him Germany, according to commentary…

So of course, Hurst worked over Yuta’s arm early on, but Yuta managed to get free and catch Hurst with a chop. DL’s replies started a mini-battle, but a clothesline ended that back-and-forth as a floatover suplex nearly got Hurst the win. Hurst keeps up with body slams as he looked to string together some offence, only for a boot from Yuta to take him outside. A tope followed as we managed to see those chairs that DL set out earlier, but a Spanish Fly from Hurst turned the match back on its head. Yuta’s quickly back in with a top rope elbow, but it’s not enough as neither man was able to hold the advantage. Hurst’s death valley driver spiked Yuta as we keep going, only for Yuta to tie up Hurst in the Yutagatame submission for the tap out. This was fun, with both men looking strong as Hurst had chances to win – but he couldn’t force the match over the proverbial goal line. ***

Chris Dickinson’s not here this week – he was in California for Bar Wrestling – so we’re reminded of his Americanrana match with Daisuke Sekimoto instead.

Bear Country (Bear Beefcake & Bear Bronson) vs. Jimmy Lloyd & KTB
Tagged as “anything goes”, with a couple of expletives, this is going to be a war. Hell, Bear Country pull out two doors as soon as they hit the ring, so you know where we’re going.

Jimmy Lloyd’s probably best known here as “that guy who nearly impaled himself on scissors over WrestleMania weekend”. This started out as a slugfest, with clotheslines taking the GCW pair of Lloyd and KTB to the outside… where they managed to swat away some diving bears with chairs. Those chairs then get put on the heads of the Bears, who then replied by folding a chair in half when they dropped KTB onto it with a death valley driver. The goddamn visual of that chair back having folded back on itself…

KTB manages to get back to his feet, but Bear Beefcake picked him up as he combined a Samoan drop with a DDT. Beefcake’s moonsault ends on a chair as Lloyd switched it up, landing a springboard moonsault of his own as he single-handedly tried to wipe out Bear Country. KTB’s got a moonsault of his own as Lloyd topped off with a senton bomb. The GCW pair hit a wacky lungblower/Destroyer combo before they take the twisted chairs and make a door bridge out of it… which Beefcake fell onto, breaking it in the process. Oh dear. KTB adds insult to injury with an avalanche death valley driver as Bronson fell onto Beefcake and the remnants of the door for a near-fall.

Bronson hit back with a Fire Thunder Driver to Lloyd through a chair, before the Bears stack up and cannonball KTB through a door. All that’s left is the Elevator Drop to Lloyd, and that’s all folks. A hell of a clusterfuck, but not much of a match! **½

After the match, Bear Beefcake challenged LAX for Americanrana in a little over two weeks’ time. That’s short and sweet, and that’ll be a banger!

Deana Rae tries to interview Kobe Durst, but her mic’s broken… Cam Zagami takes over as his work. He’s calling himself “Club Cam” as he’s wearing an even more ridiculous suit jacket.

Discovery Gauntlet: Kobe Durst vs. Christian Casanova
To be fair, Casanova’s run in the Gauntlet has been overshadowed by Zagami’s antics. Casanova slipping on the apron makes him an easy target for Kobe “Don’t Call Me Fred” Durst in the intros, as he got the crowd to call him “Botchanova”. Hi Maffew.

Casanova tries to end it early, but his lungblower’s pushed away and turned into a German suplex by Durst, who followed it up with a nice Falcon arrow that doesn’t quite do the deal. Lifting Durst onto the apron, Casanova follows up with a slingshot DDT onto the edge of the ring, before taking things back inside for a springboard clothesline. Durst hits back with a Judas Effect-like back elbow and a leaping leg lariat, before he blocked another lungblower and placed Casanova on the top rope. A top rope ‘rana’s next as Durst lands a flying lungblower of his own, as Casanova needed to grab the bottom rope to avoid being pinned.

Casanova again looks for an apron DDT, but Durst avoids it and hits a piledriver there instead, as the Canadian looked to follow up with a diving forearm… but he misses as Casanova replied with a La Mistica and a spin-out butterfly suplex for a near-fall. A back cracker from Durst gave him hope, but Casanova quickly shuts the door with a leaping axe kick for the win. This was really solid, helped by Zagami not sticking his nose in as this let Casanova’s work stand out. ***¼

Zagami takes over the interview again as the White Eagle drowns him out. Yet again, Cam doesn’t let Casanova speak, and that’s gotta be heading somewhere, right?

Alexia Nicole vs. Solo Darling
This was a Beyond debut (not counting co-pro shows) for Nicole, as you really get the feeling that Ethan Page had a full car on the trip from Canada. That’s not a bad thing!

Nicole’s on the defensive from the off as Solo made he back into the corner… from where she struck back as a shotgun dropkick and some running knees pinned Solo into that same corner. A Muta lock followed as Alexia focused on what looked to be a bad neck that those knees aggravated, before an Electric Chair drop just made things worse. Solo began to fight back, scoring with a dropkick to the knee as Nicole was forced to absorb a series of kicks. The Honey Steamer tornado DDT gets Solo a near-fall as Nicole tried to avoid the apron… but instead Solo just takes her down in a modified deathlock as she tried to soften up the legs ahead of the Sharp Stinger.

Nicole gets free thanks to the ropes, but she can’t avoid as pinning side slam as Solo rolls her over into the Sharp Stinger for the submission. A decent outing for Nicole, but this ended up being an expected win for Solo as she headed into Americanrana. **¾

Randy Summers and Brandon Watts get an introduction as they’re here for… reasons. Their record on Uncharted Territory isn’t exactly great. They want an opportunity to show how tough they are… oh hey, there’s a team on this show who doesn’t have a match booked. They even do the Dumb Thing and challenge them by name, calling Nick Gage the “softest man in the building”. Oh boy.

Milk Chocolate (Brandon Watts & Randy Summers) vs. Nick Gage & Thomas Santell
Santell has to pick a partner for his match with Bryan Alvarez and Tom Lawlor… reckon this’ll be an omen, or just a tryout for a “buddy cop movie that’s waiting to happen”?

Watts dropkicks Gage off the apron as Milk Chocolate jump started the match. It’s perhaps their only hope… A flying stomp from Summers to Gage lands on the outside, as Watts’ flying legdrop nearly put Santell away as Milk Chocolate began to double-team him. Oh, they’re gonna die when Gage gets back to his feet. Santell flings Summers with a German suplex as Gage got back in, and the predictable happens. Gage signals for a spile piledriver, which took Summers to the outside as Watts ate a spinebuster ahead of the Sugar Free Hold… and that’s enough for the quick tap. Not much of a match, but this shot down any questions of “could Gage and Santell work together?” **

John Sebastian from Sports Entertainment Experience gets music and entrance?! He’s out with a belt in a bag, along with an announcement for Americanrana. It’s a new title belt for Feast Championship Wrestling, along with the announcement that Cheeseburger’ll defend the title in a ladder match at the show. There’s your cue for Kenn Doane to hit the ring. Who keeps letting him in?!

Doane, who perhaps needs to put a little bass in his voice, inserted himself into the ladder match before Anthony Greene hit the ring to stop Kenny from bullying the non-wrestler. Problem was, he just got decked and thrown outside, as instead the lights went out… as Johnny Cockstrong came out for the save with, erm “a personal pleasure device”. Doane knocks him down too, as he’s had enough of the radioactive crotch, and this segment too.

Brad Hollister vs. Chuck O’Neil
I’m not quite sure what part of “Big Bacon” Chuck found offensive. The nickname?

Hollister turned a flying knee into a side slam as O’Neil tried to charge at him at the bell. Brad tries to use his amateur background to restrain O’Neil, and he wasn’t taking any crap either, as he shoved him down from a rope break, before he went for a Test of Strength. Chuck tries to turn it into an armbar, as he pulled Brad down and flipped him over, but it’s a series of forearms that finally got Chuck into it, taking him into the corner… only for a monkey flip to get countered out of as Brad landed on his feet. Rolling German suplexes follow, taking O’Neil to the outside, before Hollister sent himself flying into O’Neil with a pescado… but he lands badly as you could hear him screaming on the landing… and the match gets awarded to O’Neil via stoppage, although that’s pretty much for the sake of the record books Fortunately scans showed no broken bones, as he looked to have blown out his knee.

The air was sucked out of the room for that one, as Chuck took the mic and tried to make the best of the situation. O’Neil called out Wheeler Yuta as someone who “wasn’t legit”, and of course that brought out Yuta, who got caught with a Michinoku driver as he again escaped the armbar thanks to the trick he’d learned in Germany before sending Chuck packing.

Josh Briggs vs. Ethan Page
Before the match, Page cuts a promo on behalf of Johnny Whateverhe’scalledtoday… calling out Briggs for being part of a “B-league feeder company for WWE”. That’s low. Not watching Impact means I miss Ethan Page promos…

Page jumps Briggs with a microphone as be put the boots to Briggs in the early going, but forearms and backbreakers got Briggs back into the match. Ethan’s hurled across the ring for fun next, so he rolls to the outside for a breather… suckering Briggs out with a tope, as the Canadian used Briggs’ own aggression against him. Back in the ring, Briggs tries to fire back with some forearms, but he took a pratfall before Page eventually hoisted the big man up for a suplex. Some more forearms wake up Briggs, who caught Page with a Blue Thunder-style backbreaker for a quick near-fall. But Page is right back in it, booting Briggs as both men end up on the apron.

An attempted cross-corner spear from Briggs gets blocked, but back inside Briggs just snaps back in with a big boot and a chokeslam for a near-fall. The pair trade boots for a spell, before Page throws Briggs shoulder-first into the ring post, following up with an Iconoclasm and an elbow off the middle rope for a near-fall. Briggs looked to make a comeback, countering a powerbomb with a rana before the chokebomb planted “All Ego” for the win. These two did a good job of getting the crowd back into things after the show was deflated in the prior match – and I’ll have to go out of my way to see a lot more of Ethan Page based on this. ***¼

Next week: Nick Gage & Thomas Santell vs. Kenn Doane & Richard Holliday… Wheeler Yuta vs. Brandon Thurston… John Silver vs. Leyla Hirsch… The Butcher & The Blade are back in action… Chris Dickinson vs. Fred Yehi.

Top Dogs (Davienne & Skylar) vs. Kris Statlander & Leyla Hirsch
Interestingly, Statlander and Hirsch came out together, to Leyla’s music…

Statlander scores early on with a series of kicks as the Top Dogs were quickly being sent to the proverbial kennels. Hirsch tags in and lands a low-pe as Kris held the ropes open, before going for an armbar back in the ring as Skylar got free and quickly went for a tag. The story changed a little as Davienne blocked an armdrag, but Hirsch uses headscissors to get back on top as Statlander returned in with a big boot. After absorbing some double-teaming Davienne hits back with a backdrop suplex, before Skylar proceeded to choke away on Statlander in the ropes. A baseball slide dropkick from Davienne takes Statlander into the ring post for a near-fall, as the Top Dogs began to try and isolate Statlander.

Statlander reverses a stranglehold, only for Skylar to come back in with a back cracker for a near-fall. Some more double-teaming keeps Statlander in the wrong corner as the Top Dogs poked fun at Hirsch in the apron, but a discus clothesline gets Kris free as she manages to make the tag to Hirsch. Leyla goes straight for Davienne with a variety of strikes, before she shrugged off a Skylar German suplex. There’s a quick receipt as Leyla gets swarmed… but she just dumps Davienne again as she single-handedly swung the match in favour of her team. A swift Air Raid Crash from Davienne stems the tide, before Hirsch blocked a powerbomb, allowing Statlander to tag back in and use her own partner as a human weapon.

A sit-out front suplex gets Statlander a near-fall with Skylar breaking up the cover, before a big Parade of Moves broke out, ending with Davienne getting taken down with a spinebuster for a near-fall. Back-and-forth strikes ensue as the referee’d given up on enforcing tags, which meant that Statlander had to save Hirsch from a double superplex by powerbombing Davienne instead. That leaves Davienne on the mat as Hirsch climbed up onto Statlander’s shoulders and moonsaulted off her partner for the win. A solid main event, and one that placed a LOT of spotlight on Hirsch – if Statlander is leaving (and to be fair, I’ve not heard much speculation before Beyond made it a storyline), then Beyond have done a stand up job in elevating Hirsch to a comparable level in these last few weeks. ***

After the match, Statlander went to give her news… she’s not leaving – instead, she challenged Kimber Lee for Americanrana as she wanted to finish off her business with her from earlier in the year. Solo Darling interrupts as she’s a little sour at not being challenged for Americanrana… and those two will be facing off next week instead as the show faded to black.

Beyond are really ramping up the build to Americanrana here, with many graphics being thrown up to remind us of the card throughout this show. “Their WrestleMania” is shaping up real nicely, and Beyond’s doing a cracking job of weaving storylines for that into Uncharted Territory – making full use of every vehicle they have.

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