Beyond celebrated the fourth of July early as Chris Dickinson hosted Joey Janela’s birthday party instead!

We’ve a bumper three-hours show this week, with giving the show away for free. Seems as good a reason as any to add an extra hour!

Beyond’s still at the White Eagle, with commentary from Paul Crockett and Sidney Bakabella. There was a slight change to the line-up as Dan Barry’s emergency trip to hospital for an appendectomy meant that the Stunt Doubles were needing new opponents. But first…

Chris Dickinson Presents Joey Janela’s Dirty 30 Birthday Celebration
I don’t think today’s been a “dry” day for Chris or Joey.

Dickinson brings up Joey’s appearance “on pay per view over the weekend”, and in particular the shot of his foot. Paul Crockett “no comments” some shots at CZW before Dickinson headed to the back for a birthday present… it’s a big box on a trolley. You know if someone’s in that box, they’ll be over like rover… Dickinson pulls off the lid, and eats a forearm from Sonny Kiss. That’s an entirely different kind of birthday kiss…

Chris Dickinson vs. Sonny Kiss
So this becomes an impromptu match as a referee hits the ring, just as Kiss hit a cartwheel slap to Dickinson in the corner.

Kiss followed that up with a kick that turned into a splits, before a tope took Dickinson out on the floor. Dickinson fought back after Sonny tried to get the crowd to chop him, but a boot choke in the corner keeps Dickinson at bay. Joey Janela, who’d been on commentary, bails just before Dickinson made his comeback with some chops, then with a death valley driver after Sonny’d twerked too much.

Dickinson keeps up with an enziguiri but ends up getting rolled up for a near-fall. Before Kiss unloaded with kicks and forearms en route to a wacky overhead suplex. Another handspring from Kiss gets caught and turned into a powerbomb as Dickinson started to find that extra gear. Problem was, Kiss found an extra gear too, ramming Dickinson into his rear end ahead of a step-up legdrop, before a fireman’s carry slam from Kiss led to another near-fall. A superplex from Dickinson turns the tables, before he threw the empty box into the ring. He’s caught again by Kiss, who flew in with a ‘rana before Dickinson stopped the offence, turning Kiss into a death valley driver through the box for the win. Well, that’ll teach you not to ruin someone’s birthday! ***

Rich Palladino announces that Team Tremendous was off the show because of Dan Barry’s emergency appendectomy. He chastises the crowd for booing that as Bear Country replaced everyone’s favourite cops.

Bear Country (Bear Beefcake & Bear Bronson) vs. Stunt Doubles (Marko Stunt & Logan Stunt)
Oh, those poor Stunts. They looked like goddamn children next to Bear Country.

Sidney Bakabella gives a long winded story that was so, so convincing about how the ring ropes were higher than usual… Marko’s wearing a t-shirt that’s so shrunken, it’s like he’s trying to cosplay as Sonny Kiss, before we got the visual of Marko trying to outflex Bear Beefcake. A chop doesn’t work, so Beefcake gives him a second shot… before flipping him inside out with his retort.

The Stunts try to double up, almost like they wanted to be Vincent Adultman, but chops stop all of that as the Stunts had to use their size to their advantage. Low bridging Bear Country to the outside, where they managed to keep the Bears down with some double-teaming. They try to keep it up in the ring, scoring with a double-team snapmare to Beefcake as kicks left him down for an assisted back senton. Beefcake’s quickly back with a roundhouse kick, before he delivered a Fire Thunder Driver to squash two Stunts for the price of one. Logan gets involved again, suckering Bronson in for a gamengiri from Marko, who came in with a slingshot piledriver as the Stunts nearly completed the upset. Seemingly having enough, Bronson chops Marko on the top rope… Logan pulls him back and ends up getting thrown into a pop-up stomp as the Stunts somehow were still holding their own.

They manage to avoid Beefcake’s springboard moonsault out of the corner, before they double up to try and piledriver him. Like that was ever happening. Beefcake stands up and hits a stacked-up Alabama Slam. Somehow, the Stunts come back with a barrage of kicks to take down Bronson, only for Beefcake to return with an avalanche fallaway slam/Samoan drop, flinging Marko from corner-to-corner as Bear Country finished off with the Elevator Drop splash. Well, the Stunt doubles gave it their all, but I struggled to buy into their continued offence because of the size difference. **½

After the match, Bill Carr ame through the crowd and obliterated Logan Stunt with a shoulder tackle. He swung Marko around like a ragdoll with a Bossman slam too, before powerbombing Logan onto him. Bear Country make the save, and perhaps could learn a lesson in domination from him…

Discovery Gauntlet: Christian Casanova vs. Breaux Keller
Cam Zagami again shadows Casanova, and is acting like a wacky bouncer, bringing out the velvet rope for his man. I’ll make the comparison again, but Zagami is coming across like a toned down Larry Sweeney – and that’s not a bad thing. Although I’m pretty sure Larry wouldn’t have worn leather trousers in that kind of heat…

Keller’s something of a regular in the Pennsylvania/Virginia scene, perhaps having been most prominent with the old NOVA Pro promotion before they shut down. Keller started out hot with a leaping ‘rana to take Casanova into the corner, but Christina’s quickly back, hanging Breaux in the ropes for a springboard rewind legdrop that nearly shut the door on this match early on. A switcheroo sees Keller take Casanova into the corner for some Stinger splashes, only for a third one to come up short as Casanova stepped aside, before a spin-out butterfly suplex almost but Breaux away.

Keller tries to get back in with a facebuster, but Casanova’s clothesline snuffed him out quickly, as did an inside-out gutwrench suplex as both men were left laying. Casanova again goes for that springboard legdrop, but Keller gets out of the way and came back in with a crossbody – overshooting with the momentum as he couldn’t get a cover. He’s quickly back in though, taking down Casanova with a top rope ‘rana, before a springboard flying DDT almost put away Cam Zagami’s meal ticket. An enziguiri followed as Keller looked to put Casanova away with the Gutter Butter gutbuster, but Casanova avoids it and instead went up for a flying axe kick… that finds its mark, and with Casanova cheekily grabbing onto the rope for good measure, Keller was unable to kick out. A solid showing from Keller, but it’s clear that Beyond’s going all in on the pairing of Zagami and Casanova here. ***¼

Zagami gets the mic for a post-show promo, but the folks in the White Eagle drown him out. Good. Cam cuts off Casanova as he feigned an interview, and I’m guessing that’ll be the first seed of dissent between those two.

Anthony Greene vs. The Patriot
I’m going to be a little sincere here about this Patriot guy, but I’m really sad that they replaced his music with Eye of the Tiger and not that classic theme.

Greene’s got some fringed Stars and Stripes tights underneath his Zubaz (a la Los Gringos Locos’ gear), which kinda makes the Patriot’s get-up seem rather… eh. Greene goes straight after the Patriot from the off, before he found out with a chop that the Patriot’s barrel chest was tougher than he thought. Receipts wreck Greene in the corner, as Ava Everett came in to try and defend her charge… only for the Patriot to tease throwing a chop. Greene, rather than get her out of the way, just covered her eyes in a show of… cowardice?!

Anyway, Greene gets free, only to find himself pulled into the ring post as the Patriot went outside. Angel Sinclair tries to save Green from being posted, but instead ended up in the post herself as Greene again made the most of the distraction, clocking the Patriot with a superkick. Man, these American Patriots are massively different in 2019 than they were in the mid 90s. Back inside, Greene takes the Patriot from corner-to-corner, only to miss with a Bronco Buster-like charge. The Patriot makes him bust that Bronco, before Greene danced his way out of the Uncle Slam as the comeback was well and truly on, with Greene catching the Patriot in the ropes… only to forget the rule of threes as he ended up crotching himself.

Greene fought back with a sleeperhold, before a kitchen sink knee to the gut stopped the Patriot… who replied with a… Michinoku driver?! That’s not Patriotic! Another crack at the Uncle Slam’s avoided as the Patriot instead landed a cutter, before he avoided a moonsault from Greene, then caught him with the Uncle Slam for the win. That’s a loss on the Retrobution tour then for Greene, as we got a pretty good old-school style match here. Even if the result wasn’t popular. ***

Post-match, the crowd sing the national anthem, which forces Greene to put his hand on his heart. As is the American thing to do.

Wheeler Yuta vs. Alex Reynolds
This was Yuta’s first match back in Beyond since episode 3… since then, he’s been with wXw in Germany for a brief tour, albeit one that came with mixed success. Still, WALTER didn’t kill him, so that’s good.

Yuta starts out aggressively, taking Reynolds to the mat from the bell… but the former Beaver Boy Reynolds was even to it as the pair went move-for-move. Reynolds pulls Yuta onto the apron by the hair, then uses a slingshot stomp for a near-fall, eventually following that up with a knee to the gut as Yuta remained on the defensive. Reynolds removes his wrist tape and tried to tie Yuta to the ropes with it. Eventually the referee removed the tape as the crowd started to get behind Yuta, who needed to fight out of an armbar on the mat. Another knee’s countered by Yuta, who began his fightback, taking Reynolds outside for a tope, following that up with a German suplex back inside.

The pair roll back and forth on the mat in search for a pin, but Reynolds goes to the eyes to force his way back. Reynolds then began to mock John Silver with some kicks to a kneeling Yuta, only to get caught with a knee and a reverse DDT for the win. This was fine, but it felt a little rushed at the end, particularly with Reynolds’ taunting. ***

Chuck O’Neil instantly rushes out to attack Yuta’s arm, following up with a Michinoku driver into an armbar… but Yuta again gets out of it and clotheslined Chuck to the outside. Seems like his trip to Germany’s shown him out to avoid those darned armbars!

Commentary announce the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express’ opponents for Americanrana on July 28 – it’s only the Butcher and the Blade. Good GOD.

Leyla Hirsch vs. Solo Darling
Hirsch is looking to build up a streak after winning at WWR’s Let Them Eat Cake at the weekend… but Solo’s on a streak of her own too.

They take it to the mat early as Hirsch tried to force Solo into her kind of match. That didn’t really faze Solo though, as she willingly went into a takedown, because it took the match into her domain: the apron. A death valley driver stopped Hirsch in her tracks, but Leyla’s able to kick out at two, before she went to work on Darling’s arm, wrapping it around the ropes, then the ring post, as her game plan became obvious.

A slam onto the edge of the ring keeps Solo on the apron, but she’s able to rebound with the Honey Steamer tornado DDT for a rather nonchalant near-fall. Leyla took over again with a lariat, keeping her momentum up with a German suplex as both women looked spent… but still Hirsch was able to keep up with running strikes. A slingshot knee in the corner’s kicked away by Solo though, and we’re almost back to square one. Hirsch tries to go back to the armbar, but Solo blocks and looked for a pumphandle slam… Leyla flips free and goes for the armbar, only for Solo to get to the ropes. Back-and-forth strikes ensue, but Solo quickly traps Hirsch in the Sharp Stinger for the submission. A nice, keen back-and-forth outing that’ll do a lot for Hirsch in defeat – showing she hung with one of Beyond’s best. ***¼

Commentary tells us that Thomas Santell and a TBA will face the Chop and Roll Express at Americanrana. That’s Tom Lawlor and Bryan Alvarez…

Cam Zagami vs. Thomas Santell
Zagami hung around the entranceway… as did Richard Holliday as I guess Thomas Santell has a welcoming party for him. Yep, he’s attacked before he even got to the ring. There’s a three-on-one beating for Santell in the ring, before Santell was eventually rescued by Nick Gage’s music.

Gage eventually appears and throws Richard Holliday into a table, before dishing out a spinebuster Casanova. Zagami’s high-tailed it, and we get the “two guys bump into each other” moment as Gage and Santell eventually shook hands. Oh my God, Bryan Alvarez is in trouble.

Cajun Crawdad, Hermit Crab, Cornelius Crummels & Sonny Defarge vs. Mike Quackenbush, Thief Ant, Green Ant & Razerhawk
CHIKARA’s Atomicos rules basically mean it’s a 4-on-4 lucha rules tag. At least I don’t have to keep up with the concept of a legal man…

The rudos jumpstart the match, but it’s the Ants who were on the offensive early landing some dives, including a nice monkey flip springboard plancha to the outside. Things calm down as Quackenbush traps Crummels with a double armbar, before countering the counter into a La Magistral as a Monkey Flip proceeded to hurl Crummels across the ring. Defarge comes in but can only pop up Quackenbush into the corner as Razerhawk’s ‘ranas sent Sonny all over the place. Bodies continue to fly all over the place as the Ants double-team Hermit Crab, but those rudos begin to focus on Green Ant as his lack of experience got him into trouble.

A slingshot into a powerslam nearly puts away Green Ant as he was caught with a barrage of multi-man offence. Hermit Crab tries to remove Green Ant’s mask, even though that’d be an instant DQ. They manage to lift some of the mask off as Mike Quackenbush did the naive babyface thing of distracting the ref while arguing his case, but after flipping out of a suplex Green Ant finally leapt over to tag in Quackenbush. Defarge lifts Quackenbush to the floor as Thief Ant leaps in… and comes in with a crossbody that’s caught as the rudos were hitting anything that moved. Quackenbush is back in, but Green Ant takes a crossbody for him, before he countered Low Tide into a Destroyer on Crawdad for a near-fall, with Crummels’ curb stomp breaking up the cover.

A backslide bomb from Razerhawk keeps the Parade of Moves going, before a struggling Quackenbush tried to give Crawdad a German suplex. In the end, he ducks a rolling chop from Crawdad as Crummels broke up a pin as Quackenbush’s knee and ankle continued to bother him… Yet again, they go for Green Ant’s mask, but Quack makes a save with a Quackendriver off of Crummels’ back… and that’s the run. This was wacky, frantic and fun – without ever feeling like it’d fall apart like some of these CHIKARA offer matches have been want to do. ***½

Next week: DL Hurst vs. Wheeler Yuta… Kris Statlander addresses her future in Beyond (erm, I’ve not heard any rumours)… Chuck O’Neil vs. Brad Hollister… Nick Gage & Thomas Santell team up… and Ethan Page faces Josh Briggs.

Denver Colorado hits the ring next for a speech, talking about the future of Uncharted Territory. The remainder of the series will be at the White Eagle (so, the last four episodes), but there’s no official confirmation of a second series. This better not turn into an Alan Partridge/cheese wheel moment…

Josh Briggs vs. Joey Janela
The crappy birthday presents continue, eh?

The crowd threw cigarettes for Janela in the ring, but the gifts stopped there as Briggs caught him with a backbreaker early on… then with a big boot as the pair went back and forth. A quick chokeslam dropped Joey for a two-count, before he hurled Joey across the ring as Briggs looked to be on top. A sucker punch cuts off Janela’s offence, as he was kept in the corners as Briggs opted to follow up with a back suplex for a solid two-count. Briggs goes for a running splash, but Janela gets the knees up – and began a clothesline-infested comeback, eventually knocking down the big man.

A tope waits for Briggs on the floor, then a top rope elbow back inside as Janela went all Super Humman on us. How does Sidney Bakabella suddenly know modern day references?

Briggs elbowed his way back in, but gets caught out of the corner with a stacked-up powerbomb before the pair began to escalate things with strikes. Janela’s forearms get replied to with boots, sending Janela through the ropes before he’s hiptossed back into a backbreaker. There’s a pumphandle knee-to-the-face too for good measure, but Briggs couldn’t make a cover… …so he heads outside and looks for some plunder. Out comes a chair, which Briggs sets up in the ring as he looked for a superplex… but again Janela slips out and lands a Cheeky Nandos-like superkick before Briggs wiped out the chair with an Iconoclasm. A package piledriver’s next, but Briggs kicks out at two before he caught a moonsault… only for his chokebomb to get reversed.

Janela’s second wind gets countered into a chokeslam though, before a chokebomb landed for a near-fall, as Briggs just waited for Janela to get back to his feet. When he did, a Yakuza kick clocked Janela in the corner, before another one missed as Joey looked to counter into a… Burning Hammer?! I wasn’t expecting that, nor was Briggs, who got folded up and put away for the three-count. That was wild, with Janela getting the birthday win as he continued to build up to his Iron Man match with David Starr at the end of the month. ***½

This bumper episode of Uncharted Territory was almost like a full-length Beyond show, but it still fit in neatly with the show’s usual format. Complete with a hot crowd – and a hot venue – you could have been forgiven for perhaps thinking that the show would have been at less than half-speed to compensate for things… but that wasn’t the case, as the steady build for Americanrana continued, with some seeds being planted as the card for the spectacular at Foxwoods continues to take shape.

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