Formed in 2011, the Welsh-based ATTACK! Pro Wrestling has built up quite a niche following, with their unique spin on the concept of British wrestling. And by unique, that’s in no ways a back-handed compliment! Here, we review their most recent event, June’s “Press Start IV”.
The eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed that this isn’t the first time we’ve covered ATTACK! on BackBodyDrop.com – as we included a match from last year’s “Press Start” event in our Random Reviews special that looked at the late Kris Travis. If you haven’t read that, you should… but today, we’re going to have a look at their latest video-game themed event, which is now available to buy or rent via their Vimeo channel at https://vimeo.com/attackprowrestling
Featuring a wacky six-man tag involving the company’s 24:7 title, and the first matches in a tournament to crown an ATTACK! champion, this is probably going to be a marmite show if you aren’t a fan of video games, even though the card features the likes of Eddie Dennis, Mark Andrews, Nixon Newell and the Dunne Brothers. Yep, no fly-ins here!
We start with our ring announcer dressed like Toad from the Super Mario games recapping prior events (namely, their last card, the Jim Ross-inspired “How Do You Learn To Fall Off A 20ft Ladder?” – which we’ll be getting to in due course). The set here is a standard baby-blue sheet (shielding the crowd from “the back”), and an entranceway with Nintendo-style gamepads either side of the curtain. I have a strong feeling that this show might not be the right place to look for a five-star technical masterpiece!
Anyway, at their last event, Shay Purser – a referee – won the company’s 24/7 championship, a throwback to the WWE’s Hardcore title. Purser gets a hero’s welcome in Cardiff, doing a lap of honour to “that song WWE used to use for the Hall of Fame”. I’ll give ATTACK! their due, they’ve got a proper title belt, and Purser gets the not-ironic-at-all streamers entrance too. This looks fun! As soon as Purser gets the microphone to make a speech, out comes “Chief Deputy Dunne” (Damian Dunne) and Charlie Garrett, representing a group called the Anti-Fun Police.
If you’re getting strong flashbacks to CHIKARA, trust me, you’re not alone!
Apparently everything is too much fun for Chief Deputy Dunne, so he sets Garrett onto Purser to “arrest” him. This turns out to be a ruse, as Dunne rolls over the referee and counts a pin himself, and gets the 24/7 title. Well, that came out of the blue… as Dunne cuts a promo, we get our first cosplay of the night, as Martin Kirby came out as Agent 47 from the Hitman franchise. Damian Dunne refuses to wrestle, and instead sets up our first match.
Charlie Garrett vs. Martin Kirby
Dunne cheapshots Kirby as the crowd rings the bell (seriously, they shout “ding ding ding”), and we get going with a handstand and a headscissor takedown from Kirby, who then gets tripped in the ropes as Chief Deputy Dunne admonishes his liege for having too much fun.
Garrett does a backflip in the ring after Kirby hung onto the ropes – sensing an incoming dropkick – but Garrett gets taunted with a “that was fun” chant. He teases doing a flip, but Dunne shouts him down for “being too much fun”; Garrett ignores him and does a standing moonsault onto the mat for no reason. Kirby can’t capitalise, and promptly gets whipped into the turnbuckles for a one-count.
A powerslam off the ropes gets Garrett a two-count, but Kirby fires back with a suplex before Hulking up into a comeback, dropping Garrett with a Slingblade for a near-fall. Kirby hold onto the ropes as Garrett went for a roll-up, but after taking a superkick, Garrett dropped Kirby with a cutter for a two-count. Kirby gets the feet up to block the onrushing Garrett in the corner, then hits a neckbreaker for a two-count, before calling for the Sable Bomb (?!)
Garrett avoids it, before demanding Kirby to “stop, in the name of the law!” Dunne admonishes Garrett for getting his lines wrong, so he tries again, then misses an enziguiri. Kirby lands his enziguiri, then a Sable Bomb and gets the win. A nice fun opener, without going too over-the-top with the video game theme either. ***
The post-match sees Chief Deputy Dunne dress-down Garrett for the loss, and in particular having fun. Dunne shoves Garrett, and that’s too much for him to take, as Garrett superkicks the Chief Deputy, then lands a standing moonsault before the champion escapes for cover.
Super Santos Jr. vs. Danny Jones vs. Create-a-Wrestler vs. Mike Bird
This will get confusing quickly – Super Santos is cosplaying as Armour King from the Tekken games; Danny Jones is doing Dhalsim from StreetFighter; Create-a-Wrestler is a generic character in a blue body-suit, who got the “dig-diggity-dawg” music from WWF No Mercy (the Nintendo 64 game, not the pay-per-views) and does the generic default poses; whilst Mike Bird is playing as PacMan. I believe this match is what they call “made of win”.
This is a standard four-way match, and I’ve only just realised that there’s no commentary for this show – which tells you how much it’s needed!
Jones and Santos get us going, with Jones throwing a skull on a string in tribute to Dhalsim, but Santos sends him into the corner as Jones runs out of the ring. He crawls underneath and pops out the other side to “teleport”. A missile dropkick sends Santos into the corner, but he cartwheels into a cross body for a one-count, as Create-a-Wrestler comes in to run through the standard stomp animations from every wrestling game ever.
CAW learns how to do snapmares, then lands a Stunner from out of nowhere, before going for a powerbomb on PacMan Bird, only to get shoved out of another Stunner, and then deliver a series of slaps to all of his opponents. Santos returns to throw CAW to the outside, turning it into a tope as he then follows up with a cannonball off the apron.
Back in the ring, “Dhalsim” Jones slingshots himself out with a twisting body press, and it becomes PacMan’s turn to fly, but he instead baseball slides out to the ring before the ghost music plays, and PacMan chases the other guys around the building. This match rules!
“PacMan” Bird drops “Dhalsim” Jones with a gutbuster, before taking a senton splash from CAW, followed by a Death Valley Driver. Santos returns to take down CAW with a Muscle Buster, but he rolls out of the ring, allowing “Dhalsim” to come back into the ring and drop Santos with a reverse Exploder. “PacMan” charges into the corner with “Dhalsim”, and then goes flying with a frog splash, then a Crucifix Powerbomb for the win. Like the opener, not a masterpiece, but in terms of blending comedy and wrestling, that was awesome. ***¼
ATTACK! Title Tournament – First Round – Tyler Bate vs. Eddie Dennis
Tyler Bate’s out as Duke Nukem, so they’re not dropping the video game theme for their tournament. At least tonight… “The Pride of Wales” is out as the Master Chief from the Halo games, and that mask might be a hindrance to his sight in this one.
The referee gets booed when he asks the wrestlers to lower their guns, and we get underway with Dennis missing a big boot, before Bate dropkicks him out of the ring. A slingshot plancha is caught by Dennis, who dumps him onto the apron, before ripping off the mask (and confirms, that he “can’t see a fuckin’ thing in that”). A bodyslam sees Bate’s cigar go flying, but he kicks out at two and picks it up to keep up the act, as Dennis ties him up in a stump puller before stealing said cigar.
Dennis lifts up Bate for a brainbuster, but instead it becomes a stalling suplex with Bate getting dropped at the count of 20 for a near-fall. Bate mounts a comeback with a jumping knee strike, then a back elbow in the corner, before taking down Dennis with an uppercut off the middle rope for a two-count. A big boot dazes Bate as he climbed to the top rope, with Dennis going up top for a “Master” plex (superplex).
Just as I think we’re going to get a show without the dick-ish “count one ahead of the ref”, the crowd starts that, as both men go to the corner for their guns and we have a standoff! The now-masked Dennis takes a headshot from Bates’ gun, but it’s quickly no-sold with a boot to the head from Dennis, then a back suplex for a near-fall. Off comes the mask, and it’s time for a powerbomb that almost turned into a Dominator, but Bate slips out, pulls off a brief Airplane Spin, before leaping into the clutches of a spinning side slam from Dennis.
After pulling himself up by the ropes, Bate wandered into Dennis, whose Next Stop Driver attempt was avoided. Bate drilled Dennis with a German suplex, then another Airplane Spin before drilling Dennis head-first into the top turnbuckle, with a lariat getting him a two-count. The suspenders come down now as Bate means business, dropping Dennis with a brainbuster for just a one-count as the Master Chief nailed a stiff forearm, before a clothesline sent Bate out to the floor.
Eddie went flying with a tope con hilo, before throwing Bate back in for a buckle bomb, then a stiff lariat for a two-count. Bate rolled out of another Next Stop Driver attempt for a near-fall, with another roll-up getting a two-count as he tried to use the ropes for leverage, but third time was the charm as the Next Stop Driver was finally hit, as Eddie Dennis secured the win. Another good match here – and I’m becoming suitably impressed by this promotion. ***¾
ATTACK! Title Tournament – First Round – Wild Boar vs. Travis Banks
The Wild Boar (Mike Hitchman’s lost his name again) is Blanka from StreetFighter, which is perhaps the best fit I could have imagined. Travis Banks comes out in a box, and he’s playing as Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid. The Boar goes to the outside to investigate the box, and out pops Travis Banks, and we start with a chase sequence outside the ring with both men hamming it up for great effect.
In the ring after an eye poke, the Wild Boar charges into the corner with a forearm, but takes a clothesline before Banks lands a kick off the middle rope for a near-fall. Banks throws the box into the ring, and then proceeds to hide under it in the corner… and that’s too much for “Blanka”, who rips apart the box and proceeds to bite at Banks’ shoulder. An Exploder sends Banks flying across the ring, as “Blanka” starts with some jabs and short kicks (he’s played his StreetFighter!), and I’m wondering how the electric shocks will work.
Sure enough, “Blanka” crouches, and Banks sells death as he touches the “shocking” Boar. Awesome!
“Blanka” bites away at Banks in the corner, then staggers him with a headbutt, only for Banks to slip out of a back suplex and turn it into a rear chinlock. After letting go of the hold, the Boar drops to the mat. A comeback from “Blanka” was quickly cut off, as Banks sent him into the corner for a cannonball splash, before running into the path of a pop-up powerbomb… and now, the Stealthy Elbow! Which is just Banks crawling on the mat (a la Solid Snake) back and forth, then dropping an elbow for a two-count.
Wild Boar crawls to the outside, and Banks goes to join him… by crawling out of the ring on his hands and knees, going head-first into “Blanka” and getting a two-count in the process. Back outside, Banks finds another box, and brings it in, but promptly eats a Trapper Keeper (package piledriver) onto the cardboard, as the Wild Blanka seals his path to the next round. This match had a lot more comedy than the prior tournament match, but the action was still pretty good. ***¼
“Solid Snake” sold death in the ring afterwards, with the crowd screaming for a medic pack. The referee actually ended up rolling “Snake” out of the ring as he was dragged to the back.
Jim Hunter & Bayside High (Nixon Newell & Mark Andrews) vs. Pete Dunne, Kid Lykos & Chief Deputy Dunne
Our main event ended up being a six-man tag, with the Mario theme music being a bit of a giveaway… Jim Hunter came out as Mario, with Nixon Newell as Princess Peach. Something tells me that they’ll have to do a lot to overcome Kris Travis’ Luigi from last year.
Pete Dunne came out as Wario, and Lykos played the part of Shadow from the Sonic games. Chief Deputy Dunne came out to add to the match, as this became three-on-two for a while, with Wario threatening to kidnap Peach… only for Mark Andrews to complete the set as Pikachu!
Pikachu clotheslined Wario out of the ring as Mario, Peach and Pikachu looked to go flying, before the Dunnes and Lykos cut off the babyfaces. Chief Deputy Dunne took several armdrags from Andrews, who then dropkicked Dunne to the mat following an attempt at a sunset flip.
In came Peach, but she was quickly dropped by a knee to the midsection, as Lykos came in for the heels, working a headlock. A couple of clotheslines were missed by Peach, who in the end logrolled into Shadow to take him down, before using a flying hurricanrana to keep the evil hedgehog down.
We then got Wario vs. Mario, as Pete Dunne worked away on Jim Hunter, but a headscissors takedown got Wario off his feet, before a series of punches seemed to generate coins for both men. They missed the opportunity for last year’s spot for “shrinking Mario” as all six men ended up in the ring, and we got the ten-count punches with sound effects for coins and 1-Ups. Wario’s hat got knocked off finally, as Mario walked across Shadow and Dunne before a headscissor takedown sent Wario out of the ring.
Mario went under the ring, as did Peach and Pikachu… and everyone else, really, and this became an underground level! Everyone re-emerged on the other side of the ring, and then back into the ring with the babyfaces standing tall, which was the cue for a body press from Mario, and topes from the Bayside High team of Newell and Andrews.
Inside, Newell got slammed to the mat hard by Pete Dunne, who then bit at Newell’s wrist as he was trying for a surfboard. “Peach” then flipped out of a tiltawhirl slam, and dropped Wario with a DDT, before making the tag to Mario, who clotheslined Chief Deputy Dunne, then Shadow. Mario took an enziguiri from Wario, then a release suplex, before Pikachu leapt in with a headscissor takedown and then a tornado DDT off the apron to the outside.
A standing moonsault inside the ring got Pikachu a two-count, as he then unloaded on Shadow and Chief Deputy Dunne with punches, before the heels hit a stereo enziguiri. Peach took down the pair with a moonsault body press, before reversing a pumphandle slam from Wario into a DDT for a near-fall.
Peach then went backstage, and returned with a ? box, but couldn’t use it as the heels triple-teamed her. Superkicks cut-off everyone else from grabbing it, but Pikachu was able to grab it and hit Shadow with it to block a powerbomb, and eventually reveal some “coins”. And then “rings” as Shadow attacked him from behind, before scurrying around grabbing all of its contents. The faces hit a triple superkick as Shadow lost all of his coins (a la Sonic), before Shadow took a dual superkick into a German suplex as he continued to take a beating.
Wario returned to the ring and cleared it of everyone but Peach, who dropped him on his head with a German suplex, following that with a leap off the top rope, but ended up eating a spear from Chief Detective Dunne in mid-air. Dunne then took a rolling Northern Lights suplex from Pikachu, who was cut off with a reverse ‘rana from Shadow as Mario made a save by crotching the hedgehog up top.
Wario came in to drop Mario with a tombstone piledriver, forcing Peach to make the save, and she ended up being carried away by Wario… with Pikachu making the save?! Mario stayed in the ring alone to take a springboard codebreaker from Dunne, then a moonsault off the top by Shadow before kicking out at two.
Mario tried his best to fight off, but got out of the way as Dunne ended up spearing Shadow – with Mario then landing a spinning backcracker for a two-count as Dunne pulled the referee out of the ring. As Shadow and Dunne wandered out, Mario went flying with a tope con hilo, as Peach returned to the action, only for Wario to bite, then attack her foot. In the background, we saw Pikachu climb the Tetris-inspired set, and leap onto the bodies below with a plancha.
Pikachu rolled Wario back into the ring, and missed with a shooting star press, before Wario nailed a pump handle into a facebuster for a near-fall. Wario and Shadow went flying with a reverse ‘rana, as Dunne re-entered the ring to kick Pikachu low, begging the referee to disqualify him.
Referee Shay responded by bouncing off the ropes (and almost Enzo Amore’ing himself in the process!), before dropping Dunne with a pop-up powerbomb and shoving him into the path of Peach. Peach dropped Dunne with a Canadian Destroyer, before Mario joined in with a senton bomb, and Pikachu with a shooting star press… Mario makes the cover, and that’s our match… with Mario/Jim Hunter winning the 24/7 title to boot!
For me, the main event ran a little on the long side, and I wasn’t struck on the referee getting as involved in the finish as he did, but for the theme of the show, this worked, and that’s about all you can ask for. ***½
If you’re not a fan of video games, then this show probably isn’t the right one for you. The wrestling action was solid, and even really good at times, but since every match featured a video game crossover, some of the comedy may be lost if you’re not a fan. If you are though, this’ll be right up your alley – a perfect mix of comedy and wrestling.
ATTACK! Pro Wrestling’s shows are currently available to purchase on a per-event basis from their Vimeo channel – which can be streamed via any PC/Mac, iOS, Android or Windows devices, plus Chromecasts, Rokus, Amazon Fire TV/Sticks and some smart TVs as well.