Nothing To Prove gained yet another new member on ATTACK!’s latest trip to Bristol – and it’d be someone you’d surely never have expected.
We’re at the Trinity Centre in Bristol, with Eddie Dennis on commentary alongside Matt Richards.
Drew Parker vs. Chris Brookes
Brookes is back to “Human Fly” having used his Hot Tag song for the last little while here. He’s also taken back the thumbs up that Lloyd Katt used to do before… y’know, while Lykos-in-a-suit is back as his manager, having come straight from the day job, which led to some Catchphrase-style chants.
Say what you see.
Brookes took Parker down early on, working the wrist, before doing the usual “I can reach the ropes from anywhere” malarkey. Chops come next, as Brookes slowly took apart Parker, who snuck in with a leaping back kick as he tried to wear down Brookes in the ropes… to little avail as Brookes nailed a brainbuster as an ode to Lykos for a delayed near-fall.
Back-and-forth shots came next as Parker slid outside and grabbed a chair from the front row to use on Brookes, ahead of a double stomp off the apron as he took advantage of some iffy officiating… but Brookes got instant revenge as he swatted away a dive with the same chair. Brookes keeps up with a slingshot cutter for a near-fall, before he’s forced to kick out of a Falcon arrow as Parker mounted a comeback… a Detonation Kick and the Backseat Driver nearly does it, but somehow Brookes kicked out of that small package driver!
Another Michinoku Driver from Brookes is countered as the pair fought more evenly, with Parker slipping in a brutal satellite DDT, before his springboard 450 misses, allowing Brookes to squash him with a Praying Mantis Bomb for the win. A nice back-and-forth opener to get us going, and sweet jesus at some of those bumps… OW. ***½
Anti-Fun Police (Jim Obstruction & Los Federales Santos Jr.) vs. Mega Flowers (Chuck Mambo & Jack Sexsmith)
With Leigh Obstruction on the shelf, if the rumours are true, the Anti-Fun Police reserves are a little lighter than usual, with Santos and Jim Obstruction representing here… against…
Yep. “Macho Man” Chuck Mambo got a little too obsessed with 80s graps, and decided that Sex on the Beach perhaps wasn’t the best name to go with their frilly gear… they’re now going as the Mega Flowers. Santos had to take action before the match, pulling out his No Fun Gun because Mambo and Sexsmith were having too much fun… and this quickly deteriorated into a four-way stand-off with various weapons, ending with Santos shooting Mambo’s beach ball. It lived a good life.
Fortunately, this time had the sense to not trample over the in-ring comedy, including Mambo and Santos’ whoo-off, and Santos’ successive Ric Flair impression, which featured elbow dropping the corpse of a beach ball, and a Flair flop. I’m done, this is match of the year, and they’ve not even locked up!
The first big bump comes from a wet floor sign that Jim’d placed in the corner, as the Flowers took control early on, with a step-up ‘rana from Mambo helping get a near-fall in the opening moments. When Santos comes in, the tide turns as he used his size to clothesline Sexsmith and Mambo to the outside, before he faked out a dive… because it was too much fun. Instead, he gets Santos’ Little Helper to do it for him!
Sexsmith gets isolated, and although he quickly hit Sliced Bread, he’s wiped out by Santos as a Parade of Moves broke out, leading to Sexsmith… erm, Jacking up? The Ugg Boot to the face wipes out Jim, as the legdrop and a top rope elbow from Mambo looked to have the Anti-Fun Police on the ropes… but Jack doesn’t go for the cover! Santos tagged back in as they were posing, but he runs into a superkick as Jack Andre slams him, before the Big Double Stompy Move and a frog splash get the win. A total popcorn match, but utterly fun for what it was. **½
Kyle Fletcher vs. Millie McKenzie
Another first-time singles match here, and we start with Fletcher grabbing a headlock, as McKenzie was very much on the defensive, with the Aussie taking her down to the mat for an armbar.
A ‘rana out of nowhere gets Millie some breathing space as she mounted some offence, snapmaring Fletcher ahead of a trio of kicks to the back, before another flying ‘rana takes Kyle to the outside… but he avoids a dive as Millie tried to come in with a sunset flip for a near-fall. Millie’s leapfrog is faked out as Kyle came in with a dropkick instead for a two-count, as he eased back into the advantage.
Fletcher’s chinlock kept McKenzie on the mat, as did a double arm-stretch as Kyle continued to focus on her left arm… Millie teases a German suplex, but Kyle escapes and tries to lawn-dart her instead, only for McKenzie to slip out and hit some German suplexes. Kyle tries one of his own, but Millie’s right back up for another… which she again popped up from to counter a Fletcher springboard into one more German suplex.
McKenzie takes the match onto the apron as she teases a Destroyer, but instead it’s countered back-and-forth as Fletcher instead lifted her up and back into the ring… where Millie charged him to the floor ahead of a tope! Back inside, a spear decks Kyle for another near-fall, before another Destroyer’s blocked by way of a back body drop.
Kyle mounts a comeback with a forearm into the corner, then a superkick, as McKenzie looked to be struggling with her neck… not helped with a spiking Michinoku driver, although she was able to kick out! A diving kick from Fletcher keeps up the pressure ahead of a lawn dart, which still wasn’t enough to put Millie away, as she catches Fletcher up top and nails a release avalanche German suplex! An underhooked Destroyer’s next, and that’s all she wrote! Hard-hitting stuff from both wrestlers, but that’s a massive win for Millie who’ll be looking to build on that after losing to Sierra Loxton in Cardiff earlier in the month. ***¼
ATTACK! Tag Team Championship: Team WhiteWolf (A-Kid & Adam Chase) (c) vs. Angelico & El Phantasmo
I feel like we need the Spidermen pointing at each other meme here… especially because ELP was out in SPLX merch too. That’s a Press Start match waiting to happen…
Chase and Angelico started us off, keeping things simple yet flippy as they worked on each other’s arms. There’s some chat in the ring, but commentary’s trampling all over it, which means we don’t quite know why Adam Chase threatened to walk out. Tags take us to A-Kid and El Phantasmo, who’s going Limp Bizkit as he’s rolling rolling rolling, before he slid out of the ring after Kid went for a waistlock takedown.
Back inside, the pair stay on the mat, with ELP escaping headscissors with a headstand, before nailing Kid with a dropkick as the champions quickly found themselves on the defensive. Angelico’s in briefly as commentary points out the heavy padding on his knee, and we’re back in with ELP going all slow-mo. You know the drill here: everyone goes to a crawl, playing along with the joke as Kid flipped out of a double back suplex and turned up the pace to make the tag out!
Chase is a relative house on fire here, clocking Phantasmo with a Shining Wizard for a near-fall. Phantasmo takes a low dropkick to the head as he mounted a comeback, but shrugs it off to hit a brainbuster as the match remained even. A back senton from ELP keeps those near-falls going, before an enziguiri from Chase led to the tag out to a diving A-Kid, whose turn it was to clear house. A roll-through Northern Lights to Angelico allowed Kid to roll-up to a PK to ELP on the apron, before a springboard lariat to Angelico back inside, as a dropkick-assisted German suplex almost secured the win for the Spaniards. The end almost came when a cutter and a frog splash squashed Angelico as we had a brief Parade of Moves… and with A-Kid rudely getting dumped to the floor, it was Adam Chase left on his lonesome, as he was whipped into a kick from Angelico ahead of a rope-hung double stomp.
Chase tries to fight back with forearms and chops, but a superkick from ELP took him into the whirlibird neckbreaker, aided with a superkick as the challengers went in search of their “coolest move”… but their double aerial assault’s blocked as the Spaniards hit back, with A Kid nailing a Spanish Fly off the top on ELP for the win. An enjoyable outing, with Team WhiteWolf the deserved victors – plenty of back-and-forth, but in the end it was the adage that two singles guys can’t beat a good tag team. ***
El Ligero vs. Wild Boar
Back in ATTACK! for his first outing since the Kris Travis Tag Team Invitational last year, Ligero provided the opposition for the Wild Boar, who was on a bit of a high after beating Mike Bird a few weeks earlier in that war in the Walkabout.
Boar surprised Ligero with a shoulder charge before the bell as he blasted through the well-traveled Ligero in the opening seconds, taking him outside with a pop-up powerbomb. It left Ligs limp, but Boar didn’t care about that… although Ligero did mount a brief comeback, taking Boar outside for a baseball slide… only for Boar to sidestep that and tease an apron powerbomb.
Ligero escaped that and hits a superkick on the apron, before a flying ‘rana took Boar down. He recovered by biting at Ligero and putting him into the front row, but he runs into a superkick instead before dumping Ligero onto the apron. Ow. They finally return to the ring where Boar busts out some JYD-like headbutts as the pace ground to a crawl, as Boar tries for a superplex… only for Ligero to slip out and hit a powerbomb out of the corner instead. A Code Red followed from Ligero as Boar almost took the loss, but a missed C4L opened the door for Boar as a back senton and a Fire Thunder driver quickly turned things back around.
Boar looks to put away Ligero with a Trapper Keeper, but Ligero flips out into a La Magistral for a near-fall as he mounted a desperation comeback, leading to a springboard dropkick… but another pop-up powerbomb out of nowhere gets Boar right back in it as the finish seemed to be just a matter of time here… even more so as he set up for an avalanche Trapper Keeper, but Ligero escapes again.
Ligero then clears the crowd as he uses the stage as a runway as he dove into Boar with a flip senton, before a springboard cutter back in the ring and a Mexican Wave… lands onto Boar’s knees as another Trapper Keeper attempt is hurriedly avoided. Boar quickly switches back into the corner, squashing Ligero with a cannonball, before the Trapper Keeper dumped Ligero onto his horns for the win. Breathless stuff, and an excellent match between two of the UK’s low-key best. With Mike Bird in the rear view mirror, you’d have to guess Boar’s building to a title shot… assuming ATTACK!’s champion deigns to turn up! ***¾
Beano vs. Mike Bird
Wha’ you sayin’? As insane as this sounds, this was actually Beano’s singles debut – if you’re not counting scrambles, four-ways and the like.
Problem was, his opponent here was a battle-scarred Mike Bird, who was looking to get back on track after that outing in Cardiff a few weeks earlier. Bird was fed up of Beano asking “wha’ you sayin’?”, and he punches Beano to the outside ahead of a wild tope as Bird was all over the relative newcomer in the opening moments, hanging him in the ropes for a flying elbow.
It’s almost like a squash for Bird early, as he chopped through Beano with ease, before a back suplex kept things going in the expected direction. A forearm sent Beano crashing into the corner after he’d tried to mount a fightback, but a missed charge from Bird gives him hope… but those right hands just have Bird covering up ahead of a neckbreaker. Beano manages to follow up with a leaping Flatliner, but Bird barely gets a shoulder up, before he slips out of a rope-hung uranage… only to get swept out to the floor as Beano tried for a tope.
Bird avoids that, and instead leaps off the apron with a forearm as Beano went into the crowd. Back inside, Beano counters another leap into a spinebuster for a near-fall, before Bird switches into gear with a gutbuster and a lariat. He followed that up with a Dragon screw as the search for a submission took Bird into a Sharpshooter, crouching low onto Beano who was able to get to the ropes with relative ease.
Beano tries to mount another comeback, clocking Bird with forearms and a step-up kick into the corner, as the Shibata-ish dropkick keeps Bird down… only to walk into a bicycle knee and a crucifix powerbomb as Bird looked for the finish. Beano’s desperation enziguiri left him able to go for that rope-hung uranage, only for Bird to escape and roll him into a Crossface for the submission. A valiant showing from Beano, but in the end his lack of experience made him pay – far from the squash this threatened to be, but it was a re-establishing win for Bird nevertheless. ***
Nothing To Prove (ELIJAH & LK Mezinger) vs. Chief Deputy Dunne & Splits McPins
Mezinger is the rebranded Lloyd Katt, who’s now looking a lot like he’s part of a Brotherhood or something…
Splits went right for his former tag partner, but instead it was Dunne and Mezinger who started us off, with LK catching Dunne’s crossbody before throwing him across the ring as Matt Richards on commentary was almost mourning LK’s change of attitude. Dunne’s back in with headscissors and a knee drop, before Splits tagged in… only to see ELIJAH blind-tag himself into affairs.
Splits was all about the ground game, trying to win with a crucifix-style pin as he stomped over ELIJAH in his opening stages, before tagging in Dunne, who happily tagged back in and out of the match. Mezinger provided a distraction on the floor as Dunne falls to a Slingblade, before LK tagged back in to choke on Dunne in the ropes. Eddie Dennis on commentary threw in here that Bishop had been unceremoniously ousted from Nothing to Prove, with Mezinger replacing him (that must have been a secret probation, eh?)
Mezinger and ELIJAH looked to isolate Dunne for a spell, with LK whipping the Chief from corner-to-corner before catching Dunne in a scissored sleeperhold. After fighting free, Dunne hits a jawbreaker and falls into the corner where an avalanche was sort-of blocked, before Dunne lands a spear to give him a chance to tag out. In comes Splits, along with ELIJAH, as McPins charges in with uppercuts and a roll-up Flatliner!
McPIns headed up top for a leap, but instead he has to drop ELIJAH into the corner with an overhead belly-to-belly, as LK came in to cut-off a tope attempt, with the former Bowl-a-Rama pair exploding! Nothing To Prove get taken outside for some topes after that, before ELIJAH’s thrown back in for a slingshot back cracker as a spin-out Dominator from Splits almost took the win. Mezinger broke up that pin as the pair went toe-to-toe again, but ELIJAH’s back in to drop Splits with forearms as Dunne returned… only for his springboard lungblower to get caught as Dunne gets lifted up for an Electric Chair drop for a near-fall. Splits and LK unload on each other once more, but ELIJAH rushes in to stop that as this became more of a tornado match, leading to an accidental powerbomb on ELIJAH by LK. Dunne looked to go for the False Alarm DDT, but it’s escaped by ELIJAH, who ends up on the apron… sidestepping a spear as Dunne charges to the outside.
Dunne’s left on the floor as he’s flattened with an assisted tombstone by Nothing to Prove… and it’s now an even more perilous position for Splits, who had to go it alone. He’s quickly dumped with a kick from LK as the numbers game looked to be too much, but an inside cradle out of nowhere was enough for Splits to snatch the unlikeliest of wins! Yet another loss for Nothing to Prove, but I think we’ve learned by now that they’re not all about those Ws… ***¼
Post match, LK’s straight in with a chair as he laid waste to Splits, helped by ELIJAH with another chair as the rest of the Anti-Fun Police made the save. Drew Parker evens it up with his spike as Splits continues to be beaten down, with Nothing to Prove Pillman-izing his ankle. Ring announcer Jim Lee, looking like a knock-off Ivan Kiev, comes in to save things, but he too eats a chair as Eddie Dennis throws down his headset hits the ring, armed with a wet floor sign.
Finally there’s more help in the form of possibly-ATTACK!-management – Chris Brookes and Mark Andrews… along with WIld Boar, who clear the ring. Eddie grabs the microphone and issued a rallying cry, calling out ATTACK! Pro originals such as Andrews, praising how ATTACK! helped build the UK scene to the point where PROGRESS and ICW can run in big arenas, before…
Smashing that wet floor sign into Andrews, Boar and Brookes! Yes, Eddie too has Nothing to Prove, and he is mysterious number IV. The show ends with Eddie inviting the crowd to pelt the ring with rubbish a la WCW in the 90s, comparing it to ATTACK!, as he seemed mad that ATTACK! was still in the small rooms, blaming it on gimmicks like the Anti-Fun Police and Splits McPins, before revealing that he was the man behind Nothing to Prove.
THIS… was the moment Nothing to Prove needed. To compare it to Hulk Hogan joining the nWo may be a little over the top, but it’s the same kind of thing – a big name jumping to an invading group… and now perhaps they may be able to chain together victories and become a real force? I liked the Britwres continuity on show here, as Mark Andrews was the first person to fall to Eddie Dennis’ assault, and now the question shifts… what next for ATTACK?