With no new WCPW content until the new year… what on earth is going to be inside the 5th episode of Reloaded?

The show starts with the host being forced to wear a Martin Kirby shirt, before Ben Potter hypes up a “special bonus match” between Cody Rhodes and JT Dunn for the WCPW Internet title.

Plenty of replays from “this past week on Loaded” (well, almost, since this came out a little later than planned), as Alberto el Patron beat Johnny Mundo as a warm-up for an iPPV match with Kurt Angle in February. After an ad for their book/magazine, they recap the Nixon Newell/Bea Priestley feud, featuring “last week’s match” where Newell won, only for Priestley to leave with Nixon’s title belt.

Another replay, this time of the Primate/Rampage no-holds-barred match from a fortnight ago (!), along with SO. MANY. JUMP. CUTS. and a backstage interview with Kenny McIntosh with James R Kennedy. The promo from Kennedy suggests that he doesn’t want to finish the best-of-seven series, and that he doesn’t know what match is coming next. Is that code for “he’s not got an imagination”, or was Primate picking these all along? They mention that the third match will take place on January 5th in Liverpool… but they don’t mention at all that that show’s going to be available for free on YouTube.

Joined up promotion, everybody!

Speaking of, they then plug Cody Rhodes vs. Zack Sabre Jr for that Liverpool show (again, omitting that it’s a YouTube freebie), then Cody’s match against Ricochet on January 6 in Manchester. At least that’s “only” a TV taping. This is used as a bridge to our “main event” courtesy of Pro Wrestling Magic in New Jersey, from December 11.

WCPW Internet Championship: Cody Rhodes (c) vs. JT Dunn
This goes over 25 minutes long, since it was the main event of that PWM show in Ridgefield Park, NJ. Cody gets the “too sweet” treatment, and a boat load of streamers here… yep, he’s Bullet Club, and to show exactly how much something means, Cody’s title got the least reaction of his entire entrance.

Plenty of filler at the start as Cody kisses his wife, before Brandi rebuffs JT, which somehow leads to chants towards Cody and a lot of rope climbing. Yep, WWE’s agents would be hating this right about now.

JT Dunn powders to the outside to show off that he’s got “Death By Elbow” painted on his back, and this is quickly approaching Larry Zbyszko levels of stalling. Dunn cartwheels away from, then flips off Cody, which apparently is as good as putting your hand up to stop a wrestler charging at you. Cody busts out the Goldust grounded uppercut and a kick to the stomach for the hell of it, before springboarding into a forearm from Dunn.

Dunn disappears and comes back in a new pair of trunks that evoke memories of Rick Ride, as he’s got “DEATH BY BRANDI” in his near gear, along with Brandi Rhodes’ race airbrushed on the back of them. He’s spent a LOT of money on gear for this match, hasn’t ol’ JT? With Cody kept at bay with a series of shoulder charges in the corner, JT takes over, before he grabs onto the ropes to block a sunset flip, ending with Cody removing those “Death By Brandi” trunks. We get a long spot as Cody teases throwing them out to the crowd, by which time JT recovers and picks up the trunks in his mouth, before shoving them in his own (original) gear.

Those new trunks get used as JT tries to choke away at Cody, who is then tossed to the outside… before a superkick to the head ends any attempt from Cody at skinning the cat. A push-down stomp keeps Dunn on top, before Cody switched things around with a stalling superplex. Cody tries for the Cross Rhodes, but JT switches out and dumps him with an Ace Crusher… but Cody gets back to his feet first somehow?!

An ankle lock sees Dunn try and force a submission, but Cody gets free and catches Dunn in a spinning Alabama Slam for a near-fall. From there it’s ref bump time, as Dunn peppers Cody with kicks that sent him to the outside, where the action ended up going. Dunn tries to tombstone Cody through a plastic chair, but Brandi gets in the way by sitting on the chair… so JT gives up and instead chases her into the ring, where Cody returns… and accidentally decks Brandi with a Disaster kick.

A double clothesline means that we have three bodies left laying, and we’re left confused by t the disappearance of crowd noise and the introduction of blatantly dubbed in porno music, as Joey Ryan makes his way out to the ring. What the hell is going on here? It’d be nice to have some commentary to fill in the blanks…Joey surveys the scene, and of course, he leaves with the prone body of Brandi. Insert your favourite Family Guy catchphrase here folks!

The porno music disappears, and the crowd suddenly finds their voice as Dunn runs in with a forearm smash for a near-fall. Rhodes returns the favour with a rolling forearm, but he’s pushed into the referee again as Dunn follows up with a belt shot for a near-fall. Dunn gets in the referee’s face, and turns around into a series of strikes from Rhodes, before a Cross Rhodes gets the win. Take away the stalling, the “sports entertainment” stuff in the middle and the ref bumps, and you have the workings of a good match. Unfortunately, this just went way too long for what they were working with…**¾

Brandi returned to the ring to celebrate with a massive lollipop for some reason… and that was a match that could have done being half as long. Hopefully the outings against Zack Sabre Jr and Ricochet are much better!

They recap the “Martin Kirby is the new WCPW GM” storyline, with recaps from that two-on-three match, and they finally brand the January 5th show as KirbyMania. Why couldn’t that have been done for the earlier mentions of that show? They finally play a video that mentions that this’ll be a YouTube special: again, why couldn’t they do this for the earlier references? Do they think people would be confused at the mention, despite it having been all over their YouTube channel for a week prior to this?!

We end this episode of Reloaded with a warning that there’ll be no new Loaded this week, and a backstage skit with Bully Ray and Adam Pacitti “after the last show”. Of course, Bully was mad at his team losing, and he tears strips off of a Pacitti who looked to be channelling “Heavily Drugged” Linda McMahon from 2001. Sadly, we could barely hear Bully, but we could see him kick Pacitti off of a chair, then threaten his life by ordering him to “make this right”.

Well, for a show which had a total of two unaired backstage segments and an imported match, this was utterly skippable. If you like watching long drawn-out Cody Rhodes matches, knock yourself out, but otherwise, save your time and hold out for the next live WCPW show on January 5th – that YouTube special!